Count me in

Things are improving somewhat since Monday.  Deciding that it wasn't just a headache that all the signs of being fuzzy headed and feeling sensitive to noise probably indicated a migraine.  Somehow this made me feel okay about feeling crappy.  So I took Wednesday off work and while I'm still feeling a little stressed, and yesterday I was still a little fuzzy around the edges, it's not as bad as it was.

Clothing for my vacation is packed. 

Work is still crazy but will be ending for a week by the end of the day.

I have ticked off enough on my to-do list to feel somewhat better.

I have actually opened (most) of my email.

Did I mention I'm packed?

So what should I do on Saturday...  No need to pack, can't be bothered to clean up the house.  Haven't bought groceries so there isn't much in the fridge to toss out.

I think I will go shopping.

Let's see, non-work people, walking outside, retail therapy, and the opportunity to take some fabric for trade.  What a great start to a vacation.

The meet up is finishing near The Cameron House, where Corin Raymond is playing from 6-8.  We've hosted Corin both for his solo work and as the Undesirables, I've written about him a couple  of times.  Corin is paying for part of the production of the album Paper Nickles with Canadian Tire money and I have another $1.15 to drop off.  He's only $500 from his goal, it's absolutely crazy how much he has amassed.  I don't know that I'll stay right to 8 (my flight is at 6:15am, I think I'm going to have to get up at 3am) but it's pay what you can and worth what you can afford.

Time for a List

The feelings of overwhelmed are strong in this one...

Time for a list.

• I've found the cure for infertility, apparently it's me.  Another friend who talked to me about her fertility issues is now pregnant, she's been seeing my doctor for maybe 5 months.  I think I'm 5 for 5 now.
• I haven't told Mr. Lina, I have come close but I can't actually say the words.
• I have too much going on at work, it's overwhelming.
• Yesterday was a stat holiday in Ontario, I knew I should do some work to make today easier and I just couldn't force myself to do it.
• I don't even want to open my email now.
• Last night I woke up quite a few times, it was not a restful night at all.
• Too hot
• Bad dream - I was driving and saw in my rearview that I was going to be hit from behind, I turned the car a little so it wasn't too hard a bump and the driver drove off, I wasn't hurt nor was my passenger, but I woke up stressing about where to get the car fixed, would insurance pay for it, should I wait for the police or drive to a collision reporting centre....  You'd think it would be the bump from the car that would wake me up, but no, I have more mundane things to worry about.
• Headache, strange since I sleep through migraines and typically think of sleep as a solution to headaches, but it was bad enough to require Advil to fall back asleep.
• Mr. Lina said I was snoring, not something I do typically.
• I think the 35 sizing for Tiramisu will work better, but it's still kind of funky and I couldn't think through it.  Turned on the lights, sewed one temporary seam, tried it on and walked away from my sewing room.
• Sunday we hosted a chili cook off.  This is generally easy entertaining.  We clean up the house, Mr. Lina makes our chili entry, people bring chili, the most I have to worry about is enough bowls and cutlery. 
• This also felt overwhelming and almost made me cry on Saturday - prior to people arriving.  I played stupid little games to keep my mind off the feeling because I knew I'd be okay once we got going.  Plants vs Zombies to the rescue.
• Our favourite 2.5 year old was rather adorable.  She liked my tickles and must have been paying attention when I was talking to her mom about our upcoming vacation to Mexico.  She told her neighbours she was going to Mexico the day after the party. 
• Bowling dance was... well, fun but kind of lame at the same time.  I had a good time because of the people I went with.
• I saw a lot of people I bowled with as a kid but I was a bit too shy for some reason to re-introduce myself to them.  Probably related to the fact my average is now 60 pins lower than it was as a teen and they are still competitive.  Makes me wonder if I'd be competing at the open if I didn't stop for those 9 years.
• I didn't have Tiramisu done but I wore a black RTW dress this is really similar to Tira (knit, cross at the bust, full skirt from a waist band, but sleeveless and has wide bands to wrap around and tie at the waist) and was totally appropriate.
• But then again, anything would have been appropriate.  One girl wore a dress that barely covered her ass (literally she could not bend down to pick up cutlery she dropped) with gold sequins, some men wore suits and some guys wore dockers and a sweater (which granted is still dressed up compared to being at the lanes).
• It was fun to cha cha and rhumba with Mr Lina.  I wish the dj was better.  We don't like being the only ones out there like we're on Dancing with the Stars, and people would go out and dance for 2-3 songs and then the dance floor would clear.  Or how about the Michael Buble 3 pack.  Love his music and I might have been able to talk Mr. Lina into a fox trot, but if no one danced for the first song, perhaps playing two more would not be a wise idea.
• We really need to get back to lessons, it's amazing how much I've forgot.  We're horribly out of practice.  I mean, it looks good, but we only did about 3-4 steps for cha-cha and 2 for rhumba.
• Just went to the ladies room and realized that my faux sweater-vest/blouse is low enough that you can see the top of my black bra above the sweater and under the white blouse part.  Sigh.  Bra-fail.
• And my apologies for any blog comments with horrible grammar and spelling.  I couldn't spell "relationship" this morning.  I wanted to put an s where the t is. 

I am the win.

Perspective

There is an awful lot of research out there on the differences between how we perceive ourselves and what we actually look like.  I am no expert but I think I'm going through one of those phases where I am not connected to what I look like.

This is how Mr. Lina sees me.  Happy, cute, glowing.  I have pictures that are both flattering and not so flattering that he would list as his favourites because they are what he loves about me.

All pictures were taken by Mr. Lina with the good camera and house concert lighting.

I like my body, really I do.  I feel more comfortable with it a little lighter than my present weight but I don't think of someone who has huge body issues.  I love my rather ample bust, I love my legs.  I just like my pants to do up too.  The extra few pounds are messing with my head. 

Sunday night I traced out/cut out (depending on the piece) Tiramisu.  I laid down my red ponte knit and started cutting.  The Cake sizing system is unique, I had to take some measurements to figure out sizing.  After an afternoon of gaming (as in 4 hours of snacking on chips, bean dip and raw broccoli and cauliflower), my waist was 37", a bit larger than usual.  But I want a dress that fits me now, not what I want to be so I was going to aim a little short of the 37.5 waist sizing and use the narrower width (and skirt length) of the 35 sizing as I am short.  There isn't a whole lot of space between my bust and hips.  My high bust is usually around 38/39, but when remeasuring I realized it was higher when my arms were down.  Added to this, my full bust in a good bra is between 44" and 45", the concept of the 35 even with the D sizing working out had me afraid it would be too small.

I didn't need to worry.

We could fit another grapefruit or two in there quite comfortably.  Let's see that from the side...

He was so focused on lighting, he didn't look at my eyes.

So my thoughts...

• The band is too big, it's suppose to have 0 ease.
• The band is too low, looking at other peoples dresses that should be higher
• I've gathered too far to the side, there is bunching by my arm pit.

On the plus side, it's still not gaping when I lean forward (although it will sometimes if I'm standing up because I am not filling it).

I pretty much did the same thing with Burda 118A (which I'm not giving up on, it's just on hiatus).  I was so worried about grading that up I ended up taking inches off each side so it wouldn't look like a sack.  There is something going on between the measuring tape I can read and the final product and that would be my brain.  I think it works like this.

I know I am not a tooth pick of a woman, I do not have the genetics to be a size 2 and I'm honestly happy with that.  I love having curves (those stick figures are smiling, although the lack of breasts is more of a function of my drawing abilities with a mouse).  But I wish they didn't get blown out of proportion in my head.
So, next steps.  I won't be sewing until Wednesday night, that gives me time to think.  I believe I need to:

• Take the band off
• Trim the band down
• Torn about lifting from the shoulders as I rather like the seams but I think the v needs to be lifted
• Cutting off from the bottom
• Cutting off from the sides?
• Sliding the cross over because I'm cutting off the bottom

That's a whole lot of cutting and I'm a bit concerned about taking off fabric from the right places and not distorting the whole bodice.  I'm going to have to look at the 35 pattern piece to see the difference in grading so I cut from the right spots.

I was having a hell of a lot of fun last night.  If I can fix this, I'm going to love this dress.  If not, I have other fabrics to try the 35 and I might have enough of this fabric to recut the bodice for this dress if need be.  I have enjoyed the process of making it.

Oh, and did I mention I'll be going to Germany in March?  The Post Lifers got into a film festival in Landshut, northeast of Munich. 

Snow Day!

Oh how I love snow days. 

This is the view from my front door.  You can see my neighbours foot prints in the snow, I haven't ventured out to shovel yet as it's still falling.

This is by no means a crazy amount of snow.  The flakes are actually pretty small but they say it's falling at 3cm (a little more than an inch) per hour.  It's enough to keep us home instead of risking life and car on the roads.  It will all be over later today and not impact our house concert tomorrow.  Hopefully we can get out on snow shoes on Sunday because Monday it's going to rain and the snow will disappear.  Again.

I mentioned that I transplanted my aloe plant and scratched my hands and forearms up nicely in the process.  While I had the camera out, I thought I'd take a picture.  Here's hoping I didn't kill it in the move, it's been a week and it seems fairly happy.

Try hugging that.

I also mentioned that we're going to a Central Ontario bowling fundraiser.  I haven't been to this event in the past, we've often had other plans.  I haven't been to a dance in ages, I have no idea what the dress code would be like.  I mean, it's bowling.  Our dress code is generally jeans and lower.  At some tournaments they might require a collar, dress pants for a national competition, but that's about the extent of it.  I put a few inquiries and found out someone actually wears a tux to this event.  I swear I've never seen him wearing a shirt without a wolf printed on it.  Now he was given to me as an example of the extreme (and considered over dressed), but it does show that there are many levels of dressing up and if dressing up is vaguely appropriate, then I don't want to wear jeans.  But... so many of my dresses are either for work and feel too professional or summer weights, or I dunno, like the tux, a little too fancy.  It does have me thinking that Tiramisu in red ponte might strike the right tone (I have purple and black fabrics in the stash too, but red has been catching my eye).  I keep picturing it looking like Tanit-Isis in her New Years dress.  Wouldn't that full skirt look fun moving around while dancing a cha-cha?  Food for thought with a deadline of next Friday.  Nothing like a real deadline to make me do something (mental deadlines do not work, I can't trick myself).

Puttering

Thank you all so much for the comments on the last post.  I think writing that out was good for me, things have definitely improved.  I did take suggestions to heart and made sure to take my vitamins and stand at the window when the sun came out.  Some of it was just putting my foot forward on smaller projects to get the ball rolling.  I am still having some foggy brained moments, but it's not as bad as last week.

We didn't have much planned for the weekend, just dinner at a friends house on Saturday, 4 couples and a child.  Mr. Lina is clearly still popular with the 2.5 year old crowd.  As much as she was asking where I was, it was Mr. Lina who needed to read her books and fix the play oven when the rack wasn't going in easily. 

This did lead to some baby-sad moments on Sunday.  Mr. Lina was equating time with our favourite 2.5 year old like drugs.  You feel this great high at the time.  The good feelings carry over for a while when you think of how good it felt to have them singling you out as someone special or snuggling close.  And then you realize that it is gone.  She's gone home and it's going to be a while before you can get that feeling back.  It's why I don't go to baby showers and I'm hesitant around babies.  It feels awesome at the time but sometimes the crash isn't worth the high.  I think there will be another crash when Ripley's Kittens are adopted in the next couple of weeks.  Most of them are over 2lbs now, it won't be long before they all meet the 2 months and 2lbs for being adopted.  Those kittens have provided some very happy distractions for both of us.

One of the great things about this weekend was my use of time, a balance of relaxing and productive.  I slept when I was tired, watched old movies and crocheted, transplanted my aloe into a larger (and heavier) pot (Note to Self, next time I move that aloe plant I should wrap it in a towel, my forearms and hands look like I tried to bathe a cat).  It started as a 10" pot from Home Depot, it's now 7 plants and about hip high on me in the new larger pot.  As happy as it seemed being pot bound in it's second plastic pot, it was pretty tippy hence the move away from plastic pots.  I did loads and loads of laundry, I think I washed every towel in the house. 

Stash fabric from Jan/12, rayon on the left, ponte (Tira?) on the right

It was a bit of a 3 Hours Past weekend as I made my own laundry detergent, watched Sabrina and pulled out the pattern pieces for Tiramisu and a few knit fabrics (red ponte above maybe?).  I did a little tidying in my sewing room, no firm decision making or sewing, but I refolded a few fabrics (including those pictured above and below, that navy modal is soooo soft) pulled out a few patterns, put a few things away.  I also went through my bra findings to figure out what I have and what I need (stretch needles!).  I won't say it was a hugely productive weekend, but I puttered.  I thought.  I took care of quite a few small projects I had been ignoring.  It felt good.

Soft modal

With my parents in Florida, it's a good time for online shopping and have it shipped to them.  I found a great card fabric for Mom's luggage tags.  I emailed to ask if she would like that as I would find something for myself and order them together.  Amusing thing is she wanted that and 3 other fabrics as well, her bill came to more than mine and qualified us for free shipping.  I have ordered 2 pieces of fabric that I think will work for Alma.  They are stretch wovens (mostly cotton), Alma doesn't require stretch but 10% stretch might work well for my first go at the pattern.  If the bust adjustments aren't perfect the stretch will be more forgiving and being cotton they will be at least 3 season wear.  We will see what they actually look like in March when my parents return.  I still find shopping for fabric online strange, I miss the tactile sensations. 

There is a lot coming up, February is a busy month.  This Saturday we're hosting Richie Newton and Rosie Stearns (video below).  We're trying to do a head count on attendance, it's a bit frustrating to have so many maybes.  We might have 11, we might have 23 (I'm hoping for 23 myself).  But that's true with every show, I should know that by now.  We have Valentines Day to plan for (more on that later).  There is a bowling fundraising dance on the 15th, our annual chili cook off on the 17th, off to Mexico on the 24th... lots to look forward to this month.

Le Sigh

You know emotionally I've had a good few weeks.  In early January I felt a few red flags going off as I was passively letting time go, maybe hiding from what I should feel, but it's been okay lately.  Not a lot of bad thoughts, I did some sewing for Mr. Lina, I've enjoyed spending time with my niece.  It's been okay.

Well, that's come to a grinding halt.

I've had a few headaches since Friday.  Not overly painful, but they leave me with the fuzzy headed feeling I have while taking migraine medications.  Things like... more word slips (like saying to the waitress on Sunday "We'll have the calamari as a sausage"), slower to make connections between things, struggling to figure out the best way to get from A to B (be that analytic process or driving), forgetting about training that was in my calendar (that was yesterday).  I didn't get everything done on Friday that I wanted to, but chalked it up to my headache and figured I'd make it up on the weekend.  Alas, I did not.

Monday and Tuesday, I started to ignore emails.  Then I'd feel my heart beating when I thought about that unread email.  But I didn't want to read it because I knew what was in there was more work.  Or a query about work I was suppose to have done on Friday.  Overwhelming is the word I keep coming back to.

I am fine face to face.  I am fine with Mr. Lina.  I am fine emailing non-work people, having lunch with a friend yesterday, but things just aren't right.  Yesterday I had a coworker ask me on communicator if I was okay, I didn't seem right to him.  Seriously, you can tell from a chat window?  That was actually what pushed me from "it's just a day" to "what the fuck".  Next email was from my manager asking if I was okay.

I had a bath last night, went to bed a little early, put my book away and promptly started to cry.  I don't know why.  I'm not sad, I'm not particularly baby sad, I have no bad things to associate with February. I have really negative thoughts circling around about not being able to do things (which is reinforced by sausage vs starter moments) or not wanting to be here or just wanting people to go away.  I don't get it.  I don't even know what to talk about to get it out.  I don't have the words to explain why, this post is all about "what" so maybe when I reread it, I'll see the why.
 
I just found a mistake in work I wanted to send off today.  Actually I wanted to wrap it up on Friday to look proactive with this quarterly project that I typically fall behind on, it's really due tomorrow.  But here I am finding a mistake at 6 pm.

On one hand, I'm happy I found it.

On the other, why can't I just do it right?  I went slow, I checked along the way, ARRRRGH.

And now it's snowing and really windy so my drive home is going to be crappy.

And I still have to fix that mistake and prep for a meeting at 9:30 tomorrow morning on something completely different.  AARRRRRGH.

I don't know if I should wish that the weekend was here or not because it just means there is that much more to get done in that much less time. 

Thanks for listening.  I just couldn't face redoing my work without getting some of this out first.

Liebster!

Well this Liebster award comes with quite the contract.  11 facts about myself, then I have to answer questions that my nominator picked, then I get to come up with questions for the people I pick.  And then nominate bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. 

So let's get started, shall we?

11 Facts about Myself - Many of these are elsewhere on my blog but they are what has come to mind.

1. I studied geography and Canadian Studies in university.
2. The farthest west I have been is Kelowna, BC and furthest east is Nevis, West Indies (Halifax is a close second but I looked up the longitude, Nevis wins by a degree).
3. I am named after my paternal grandmother who died prior to my birth.
4. I love tea.
5. I started wearing glasses in Grade 7, I now think I look weird without them.
6. I was a life guard and swimming instructor through high school and university.
7. I took three Spanish classes, two in high school and one in university.
8. I love dancing with my husband, cha cha, rumba, waltz, fox trot and tango are my favourites.
9. I am 5' and a half inch.  I like that half inch as much as I like being short.
10. I find sharks fascinating.
11. I support a few independent musicians through house concerts, advance purchase of CDs, etc, my name is in a few liner notes.  Including this guy, Corin Raymond. 

Questions from Aft Agley:

1. What is the most important thing about you?
I think what drives my life at the moment is wanting to be a mom.  Even when I'm in a holding pattern, it's still influencing the decisions I make in my career, my home, and infertility has a huge impact on your marriage.  Impact is not necessarily a bad thing, all of the crap we've been through has made many aspects of our marriage stronger, financially we're in a better spot than when we first tried to have kids (double income no kids has a lot to do with that), it's not all doom and gloom. 

2. Name three things you would like to do this year?

1. Sharpen my scissors.  Lame, but true.
2. See my last two frozen embryos fulfill their destiny and move on to the next stage.
3. Find my sewing mojo again.

3. Do you set goals?

Not often.  I think of it more like to-do lists where some get ticked off sooner than others.  Firm goals set me up for guilt and procrastination.

4. Do you have a dayplanner?
I used to be a daytimer person.  I have daytimers from when I was in high school and I'm amazed at how busy I was (helps when someone else makes your meals, does your laundry...).  But I stepped away from it.  The real problem is that I rely on Outlook to pop up with meeting reminders at work.  A paper book doesn't do that and I can't keep a paper version as up to date as my Outlook so it becomes redundant.  Household events go on a calendar in the kitchen.

5. What is your favourite tv show?
I don't watch a lot of TV, we're pretty selective often waiting to see what happens with a series and watching it on DVD at our own pace.  For humour and still on air, Castle.  Treme has had a real impact on me but we aren't keeping up with current episodes.  Past shows, The Wire, Firefly, Arrested Development.  Guilty pleasure?  Charmed.

6. What is your favourite book?
Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery is one I've read over and over through my teens and 20's, but it's been a while now.  I revisit The Fire-Dwellers and The Diviners now and again, both by Margaret Lawrence and as I age I draw from different parts of the books.  They are part of 5 books that are loosely connected through the fictional town of Manawaka, Manitoba which is based on Neepawa, Manitoba and my husband lived in Neepawa in his early childhood.  For Christmas, my MIL framed a picture she took of the stone angel in the Neepawa cemetery that the book Stone Angel is titled for  (although for the record, it is my least favourite book of the series, I should read it again because I might appreciate it now that I'm not 17).

7. Do you sew, knit, etc?
I sew and I know how to crochet one blanket, I specify one blanket because I understand quite a few crochet stitches but pattern reading is still confusing.  I'm game for other needle/crafty kind of things, but they are usually one-offs.  Like embroidering tea towels as a gift or painting stained glass stickies to my bathroom window.

8. What does an ideal day look like?
Oh boy.  There would be many things:

• Time with Mr. Lina.
• Tea, rooibos, black, flavoured black, I like it all.
• Time to read or sew or crochet.
• Good food.
• Friends.
• Sleep.

9. Have you ever been to a spa?
Yes, but not often.  Usually seems like a lot of money so when I have gone, it's been a gift or part of a package of sorts.  In a lot of ways I'm actually more comfortable getting a massage from an RMT in a medical office than the pampering of a spa.

10. How do you make the world a better place?
You do ask the big questions, don't you Nothy?  I volunteer my time, maybe not as much as I used to but what I can.  I am on the executive for my bowling league, I sometimes get paid for this but I like to spend time with my friend with Down Syndrome.  And lastly, I don't know how this helps the broader world but it sure helps my world.  I'll do a lot to help my husband reach his dreams of making movies.  Like sewing 24m of fabric into 3 back drops.

11. What is a goal you've set that you met more easily than you anticipated?
Things that come easy to me I think are easy for everyone and therefore not achievements.  This took some thinking but I found one, it's a bit of a story so get comfy.

When I was growing up, I was the chatty one, the bubbly one, the one people got along with and maybe the quiet one if I was afraid of saying the wrong thing to someone I adored (like my kindergarten teacher).  My brothers were the smart ones.  Not to say I'm stupid or ever thought I was stupid, but I always felt "average" and my brothers were in the gifted program.  I was friends with people who won school awards and I had to work pretty hard on subjects like math and science and I was pretty aware when I didn't know what I was expected to know.  My middle school report cards were usually full of Bs, averaging out somewhere between 74 and 78.
Third term of grade 7 (I would have been 12 starting that school year) I had an average over 80% for the first time thus qualifying me for honours.  It was truly an epiphany.  I realized that I could get honours, that it wasn't impossible or a pipe dream. 
My middle school gave out school letters (a G you could sew onto something) if you earned 100 points through after school activities and a larger letter G if you also got 4 terms of honours over the 3 years at the school (so 4 of 9 terms).  I was already close to 100 points at the end of Grade 7, and I was going to be in band/choir in Grade 8 which would be enough for the Little G.  But the Big G, well, I'd need to get honours all three semesters of Grade 8 to do that.  Getting honours once and getting it 4 times in a row are not the same thing, but I put my mind to it once I knew what I had to do.
And I did.
I also signed up for everything.  The choir, the band, the play (speaking part in Annie), I ran for class president (and lost).  If there was a sign up sheet that didn't involve athletics, I was on it.  I swear it was a year I blossomed and I suspect I got 100 points in that year alone.  Outside of school I volunteered at the pool helping teach swimming lessons on top of my usual competitive swimming, participated in a cross school pairing with a special needs class, my bowling average increased and I came in 4th at a provincial bowling tournament.  Lots of good things happened that year.
And I really didn't have to do much to get it, I just had to believe that I could.

So the last part of Liebster is nominating a few bloggers (ideally with less than 200 followers) and posing them questions.  I must say, asking questions is not one of my strengths, but I'll put on my investigative reporter hat and give it a go.

1. Where is the farthest you have travelled?
2. Do you seek out salty or sweet foods?
3. What is your favourite movie?
4. Tell us about a time in your life where there was a shift - in attitude, work, home, relationships, - something that changed going forward.
5. What is it about fabric that catches your eye? 
6. What is your favourite season?
7. What sewing gadget could you not live without?
8. What is your favourite thing in your closet?

Okay, that's enough questions.  I like conversation more than questions.

The Liebster has certainly made a few rounds in the blog world, I hope my quick search was right that I'm not renominating people.  I nominate:

• K-Line
• Sewing for Real Life
• Shoes are My Muse

But if you have not received this award and would like to play along (or have and would like to answer my 8 questions anyhow) please feel free to!  The rules seem a little fast and loose (Funny Grrl I'm looking at you - to my benefit I might add) so play the way you'd like.

I wanna be in pictures

I can't believe it's been over a week since I last posted.  Aft Agley has given me a Liebster Award and I have that post almost ready but not quite.  And it's the not quite that has held me back from posting.  It's been a very busy week chez Lina.  Fortunately I did get a chance to tell you all to enter in the contest at Falling Through Your Clothes because it was that entry that won the fabric.  Super cool!  Thanks, FunnyGrrl.

So what has gone on?

• Two dinners with my SIL and my niece.
• Sadly they are heading back to NWT today, hopefully it goes well as Toronto has snow this morning and freezing rain coming as the day warms to +4C
• My parents have headed south to Florida
• Which means I can do a little cheap-shipping online shopping this week (yay!)
• Last day of principle photography for Mr Lina's next movie was Saturday
• I did sew 24m of fabric into 3 backdrops - more on that below
• Corin Raymond released Paper Nickles - his Canadian Tire funded album, we went to the Wednesday release party
• A bowling tournament yesterday. 
• I did not bowl well but it was nice to bowl on wood.  The lanes I usually bowl at are synthetic, it's just not the same.

Busy, busy, busy.

So those backdrops.   They took way longer than I thought a few straight seams were going to take.  In short, these needed to be 9' high and light blue would be 15' wide and two in black about 7' wide each.  Mr. Lina wasn't sure how they were going to hang so flexibility was key.  I still wasn't healthy when we bought the fabric so some math was not quite right.

9' = 2.7m so we did buy 3m per panel leaving 30cm for a hem etc, 4 panels = 12m
45" x 4 panels = 180" = 15'

Anyone see the math problem there?  4 panels need to be sewn together.  Sewn together means there will be seam allowances.  And the blue fabric wasn't 45", it was 44".  By the time I sewed those 4 panels together and remeasured I was short by 8".

I am the win.

And when I measured out the black fabric (I thought starting with the smaller backdrops was wise) I added maybe 3 inches (7cm) for hem forgetting I'd need to also turn fabric at the top and that I wanted the bottom hem big enough to add weight or possibly slide through a dowel and that I did buy enough fabric for a 15cm hem.  So I really had to keep as much as I could at the top.

I thought it was rather unlikely they would have a true curtain rod to slide these curtains onto so I had to think about the top.  Ties seemed time consuming, velcro an option but not one I was really keen on.  Sewing velcro is not fun and at 9', that's a lot of weight for velcro to hold.  I decided some looped tabs at the top would be good.  If they could slide something through it, great.  If not, the tab would be easier to clamp or we could tie it to something or later on I could add velcro and make it fold down.  In the end, they had a bunch of these riser things that could make an upside down L, the tabs went through the short part of the L at the top and they clamped it to the long side of the L to hold it taught. 

To get these tabs to aim up, bias tape seemed the best option for attaching it to the backdrop (added benefit of keeping a lot of the fabric for the black backdrops that I cut short).  I had a package of black bias tape but it wasn't going to be enough for both backdrops.  I didn't have anything light coloured for the blue.  So what seemed like oh, a handful of 9'/15' straight seams turned into making well over 20' of bias tape.  That's a whole lot of ironing.  I did not count the bias tape nor tabs into my fabric purchase either.  There was enough for the black fabric because I only needed it for two panels and cut the hems short, but the blue backdrop, well...

My poor math skills also required a pieced side panel for the blue backdrops.  Being a few inches shy of 15' was okay, 8" was too much.  With the little fabric I had left (keep in mind I did leave a good hem allowance on these having "learned" from the black panels) I had 18" of fabric left that cut in 3 could be a 6" panel but after seam allowances only added 5" (so it's still only 14' and 9").  It was close enough.  I didn't like the look of the pieced panel.  Being pale blue and cheap broadcloth, seams showed.  Wrinkles showed.  Everything showed.  Fortunately, as much as the room was 15' wide, they needed less than 14' to show and the sides were wrapped around the pole so the pieced part was not on screen and it all worked out well.  Once they added the television show logo to the fabric (paper letters attached with scotch tape), it looked like a (very) low budget children's television show. 

Groopa maintenance between takes.  I swear I ironed every seam.

I thought I'd be able to do all of this last Saturday, maybe we would even go to a late matinee.  By 5pm Saturday, one of the black backdrops was done but I still had to make the bias tape etc for the other and the blue fabric had not been touched.  Clearly, I underestimated the time involved.  Sunday afternoon I was finally done.  It was 4pm and I was still in my housecoat not even showered for the day.  It's a damn good thing someone had to cancel the 3pm lighting tests because I was not done in time for that.

All is well that ends well.  I have a 14" by 16" piece of blue fabric and about 6" of black fabric left, essentially nothing.  When I saw them raising the curtains to 9' and put the lettering up, I felt really proud that it was my contribution to the film.

On filming day I did craft services duty (aka food) and I got to be an extra.  As an extra, I was the puppeteer for Jingles, the girly puppet with bells all over.  All I had to do was walk off stage and guide my brother Scot wearing the Groopa suit and look unhappy.  I don't think much of me shows on camera (I was an extra after all), but I was wearing a Renfrew for it.  It was a strategic choice on my part to wear something self made.

It has to be good, it's Friday.

Well the cold/flu/whatever seems to show signs of improvement without actually feeling healthy.  I am not dying, things could be worse.

Yesterday I felt fairly good in the morning.  My performance review meeting was scheduled for 10am and I really wanted to do that in person.  There are messages in body language you just don't get over the phone and it is particularly important when talking about a (potentially) sensitive subject.  So I propped myself up, put on a self made outfit (Renfrew and grey cord skirt) and figured I could always go home after the meeting if I got too tired.

The day was so busy, I didn't even get a chance to pee until 1pm.  I guess because I had people in front of me and due dates and questions and, and, and... I just focused on doing what needed doing.  I was tired when I got home but again, things needed doing.  Mr. Lina needs these "curtains" for the movie on Sunday so they can test lighting against it prior to filming next week.  We still needed the fabric and I need time to sew 24m of fabric into 3 "curtains".  With time running out, we went to do that running around last night.  As it snowed. 

I managed.  We got the fabric, we stopped at the brew your own place Mr. Lina likes, we even stopped briefly at my parents to see my niece.  And we were home in time to go to bed a little early.

This is from Christmas, my niece (as usual) staring at the baby whisperer, Mr. Lina.

Myrna was saying that it was a sit on the couch and read day for her yesterday.  After spending all that energy yesterday, I have none today.  I keep picking at work and thinking is hard.  There is cotton in my brain slowing down the message from one side to the other.  I can't wait to go home, get my blanket, snuggle with Mr. Lina and crochet while watching some television.  If he wants to play video games instead of movies, well, then I'll be reading too.

Tomorrow I will sew these "curtains".  I keep putting it in quotations because this is not going to be true curtains, more like vertical drop cloths.  I really don't know what they are going to be attaching it to, I doubt there will be open ended rods for a casing to hold it up.  The plan at the moment is ties across the top, possibly velcro in the future.  Push comes to shove, he will clamp it to something.  It's a bit frustrating to not know what they are working with but given that they may use this in other shoots in different ways, it's good to have flexibility.  Blue fabric will end up being about 4.8m/15' across and 9' long.  The black fabric will be in two panels, same length but half the width.  Oh boy, 9' of a straight seam.  Can you hear the excitement?

On the plus side, it will...

• Make me clean my sewing room because this project is going to need space
• Get me doing something (anything!) in my sewing room
• Hopefully leave it in a cleaner state so I want to be there
• Add another level of connection to the movie, I like being helpful
• And I'll feel awesome seeing my work on screen

But here are two highlights for my Friday.  I have been nominated for a Liebster award on Aft Agley.  Thank you so much, Nothy.  I'll organize my thoughts on the weekend and post about that soon.  And another Liebster recipient is playing fast and loose with the rules and offering a giveaway on her blog.  Blue and white cotton with a little stretch anyone?  Visit Falling Through Your Clothes!

I Feel Pretty...

I try not to be a wimp when it comes to being sick, but I would really like this cold to end or at least figure out what kind of illness it is.  Although it's mostly in my sinuses, my tummy is feeling a bit queasy.  Weird.  I'm not so sick to use a personal day, I opted to work from home today so I share this with fewer people.  It does have me mildly grumpy.

Misty's Laws hit a bit of a button today as I sit in my elastic waistband yoga pants feeling decidedly unsexy.  It's a tough time of year for self esteem etc and the idea of listing 100 things I like about myself might be a good venture.  However, looking at her list, I realized how long 100 things is.  40 looks like a pretty long list.  Let's see how I do.

1. I like my nose.  I like the size and proportion.
2. I like my hair, perhaps not the white ones as much as the non-white, but even the white ones make me, me.
3. I like my breasts.  There have been times where it hasn't all been love but I've always appreciated how they looked with a bra propping them up.
4. I like my toes and feet, they are well shaped.  They are rather large for my height but I never understood why anyone cared about the size of their feet.  I have never gone shoe shopping and left feeling fat.  They are a size 9 and that's that. 
5. I like being a girl.  I'm sure if I was a boy I'd feel like that, but really, I love being feminine.  I love the curves of my figure that define my gender.
6. I like my eye colour.  Mostly green, I really like them.
7. I like being short.  There is a reason I usually play small characters in D&D, I identify with them in a positive way.
8. I am a good hostess.
9. I am good at sharing knowledge, making people feel comfortable with stupid questions.  Probably in part because I'm not good at asking questions and I hate feeling stupid so it's a strange sense of empathy.
10. I am patient.
11. I am a good cook, particularly with appetizers.
12. I love the way I feel wearing self made clothing.  It's really powerful.
13. I like my legs.  They are kind of muscular but I like the curve of my calves and ankles.
14. I am a caring friend.  I don't always know how to help but I want to.
15. I am a good listener.
16. I am a really good swimmer.
17. I appreciate that I had the good sense to be patient with my husband and recognize him for being a good partner for me.
18. I think I am a good judge of people.  I give them time to prove me wrong if something is setting off my spidey senses, but I'm not often wrong.
19. I am calm in emergency situations.  Well, of the physical sort, like cuts and bleeding, etc.  I guess the worst I've seen is a torn Achilles tendon. 
20. I like the sound of my laugh.  Family members have commented that it's similar to my Nana's.  That makes me smile.

Okay, it took me all day to get to 20.  This could take a while for the self love-in.  Still, a good list to look back on when self esteem is in the gutter.  What would be on your list?