A little more detail

What a whirlwind.

Friday we were going to meet with our adoption worker and the girls (sisters, 12 and 4) social worker.  A chance to ask some questions, fill in some of the gaps in the inch of paper we had on them.  As much as we knew every dentist appointment, sometimes that level of detail leaves things out.

It was going to be maybe an hour or so of chit chat.  It turned into a 2+ hour meeting.

At one point the social workers said they would give us some time to think and discuss what we had learned that day and come to a decision if we wanted to go ahead, take a few days to talk.

Mr. Lina looked at me and said, I don't need more time, do you?

And nothing in that meeting made me change my mind.  Of anything, hearing about some of my concerns in context, my level of empathy increased.

Sure, they are going to be hard to parent.  Really hard.

But I can't stop smiling and giggling when I think of the  younger sister throwing daily temper tantrums.  It's going to happen.  I'm taking her away from the great foster mother she sees as "Mom".  I don't have the words to explain how terrified and happy I am right now, how can I expect a 4 year old to express the emotional mud she's feeling?  Of course it's going to come out as temper tantrums and battles for control over inconsequential things.  It's going to take some time and effort for her to see us as the people who will keep her safe.  But I can be stubborn too.

So we said yes.  Yes, please.  Let's do this.

And the social workers put on their poker face and left the room to discuss and apparently did a happy dance the minute they got into their office.

We're going to meet them this coming weekend.  The girls don't know yet, more notice isn't always a good thing.  They will need a lot of processing time, but a week of thinking about it prior to meeting us is just too much time for their imagination to make it even scarier than it is (and it's plenty scary).  We've put together a book about us to facilitate conversations with their social worker and their foster family.

I'm still full of a lot of unknowns.  I don't know when they will be officially placed with us (we're discussing that as a group tomorrow), I don't know their favourite colours or food, I don't know exactly when we'll meet them or how this transition is going to go.  I don't know what we are doing for parental leave but we both want time off to focus on making those connections.

I DO know the puzzle pieces of my family are falling into place.

Let the summer begin!

I can't believe it's already May and a Canadian long weekend is here.  I'm still not used to writing 2015 yet (which is not helped that the software I use has been the "December 2014" version until a week ago).  We are off camping this weekend, our May long tradition.  The weather should be pretty good for May camping - today being the coldest day with a high of 18C and overnight low of 8C.  A chance of showers here and there but not a whole weekend of rain.  I can deal with that.

May has had some lovely weather.  It's well earned after that ever lasting winter.  This picture is from a week ago, all those trees have filled out since then  We put up a Manitoba flag in the back yard.  The previous owners had a short flag pole on the deck and it's made it feel a little more like ours.  We've been eating outside pretty much every night, admittedly sometimes with a little lap blanket as the temperatures are still cool in the evening.

This may be a bit of TMI, but anyone left reading after all the infertility crap should be used to that.

I never had a regular cycle and it became abundantly clear in all that treatment that I don't ovulate regularly.  So life without fertility treatments and hormones is the new "normal" for me.  Generally, it's pretty awesome not to have to worry about my period for weeks on end, but I'm sort of seeing the down side too.  When I do get my period, I am getting a pretty bad case of PMS, something I'm not really used to.  Two weeks out my breasts get heavy and sore.  Two freaking weeks.  And as those two weeks go by, my mood gets worse.  More apathetic, more likely to tear up at stupid things, less productive.  If I don't want to make dinner, sew or buy groceries, you can imagine how inclined I am to go to work.  And all this was at it's worst on Mother's Day - like one of the top 3 triggers for sadness and negative thoughts.

It is lovely to feel like myself again.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

Things are moving along on the adoption front.  We have an assigned worker and have a date in June to meet the whole team.  That isn't holding them back from presenting kids to us.  I can't talk about the kids, and I am not saying these are the ones, but we're at the point of making some pretty big and scary decisions.  It's pretty cool.

So now that I'm "ME" again, maybe after camping I can finish up the silk noil Hollyburn I cut out.

Barriers to Blogging

I used to sometimes hear blog posts in my head.  I'd be thinking about something and it would turn into a conversation of sorts.  They were words I needed to get out of my head so I could move on to other thoughts maybe.  It really was the push to blog at times I probably shouldn't.

It doesn't seem to happen much lately.  Maybe because I'm happy.  Sounds strange but I think most songs are about something sad or challenging.  When we're struggling, we often have more things to say, more feelings to sort out.

That said, I am sewing.  It's wonderful to have new clothing to wear.  You know a few days I wore entirely me-made outfits last week?  Having two pairs of self made pants is certainly extending my wardrobe.  And last week I made a denim Hollyburn skirt.

I should be eager to blog about all of them but man I suck at taking pictures.  I was frantically hemming the skirt on Saturday so I could wear it to my nephews first birthday party (CRAZY, they can't possibly be one already).  First birthday, you'd think I'd have a picture or two of me in my self made brand spanking new skirt.

Nope.  I know pictures were taken of me but go figure, all the ones I have seen are of my nephew.  I mean really, there was a new skirt to show off, someone should have taken a picture of it (we need a sarcasm font or something).  I should have asked Mr. Lina to capture the skirt in all it's non-shiny denim newness but I didn't.

And then I washed it and wore it to work on Monday.  Granted, I left at 7:30am when Mr. Lina was in the shower and I got home at 7:30pm because I have limited time management skills, but in theory I could have taken outdoor pictures yesterday.  Spring HAS arrived (although I'm still skeptical it is here to stay).  But no, I decided having dinner and buying groceries was more important.

Oh and how is this for weird?  I was at a client this afternoon that happens to be near a Fabricland.  The car went on autopilot and the next thing I knew I was parked right in front of it.  Strange.  But stranger still, I didn't buy much.  I actually reminded myself I have fabric and home and bought things like interfacing, lining, and a little piece of fabric with grippies on it so I can make my hand knit slippers last a little longer (I swear my feet eat through yarn).  Nothing even to show off.  Every time I touched something I was reminded of some other piece of cotton sateen or poly-knit in my fabric stash.

I like making patterns twice.  You figure out what works and doesn't.  Let me tell you Hollyburn runs long on me.  The "above the knee" but not short (view B) is below my knee AFTER I cut the length for size 0 and then cut an additional 3" off the bottom.  I will sew it again but it will be cut 4" shorter (to be above my knee) and from a softer fabric.  I do like my light weight denim version (fabric purchased from Len's Mill denim ends, it's so dark it's almost black) but it the denim has enough body to float away from me.  My mom said I looked "youthful".  When I mentioned being ready for the sock hop Mr. Lina agreed.  I have some black linen in my stash, just washed it for a second or third time last week.  That could be nice for summer and while it won't drape like a chiffon, it will fall down instead of out.

Trips & Travels & Pants

It's been quite the month.  Mr. Lina and I were off to Germany and Austria for a little film fest and vacation.  It's the third year in a row that Mr. Lina had a film accepted into the same Landshut film festival.  Every time we meet people in the film industry and reinforce friendships.  I swear, my Facebook page is half German now.  If I knew in 2012 that I'd be back to Germany 3 times, I would have taken a conversational German class.  As it is, we are getting pretty good at "menu-German".

Opening night, cloned skirt made in February.  Black photographs so well.

Did I mention I dyed my hair?  Wearing Renfew top with cowl.

Again, it was a good festival and his film "Oh Come All Ye Zombies" was well received.  It won it's block of films and came in second for audience favourite by a very narrow margin.  Year after year, their programming is just phenomenal.  He's up against some amazing films and we aren't exactly stacking the audience with cast members.

Mr. Lina at the film fest!

Same Renfrew as above at BMW.

Landshut is such a pretty little town.  Even going three times, we still got to see some new things.  The festival arranged a tour of the BMW component factory for us.  They don't hold back on the tour, I got to see engine blocks being poured and carbon fibre bumpers being made.  The also added a film maker breakfast, weistwurst (white sausage), bretzel (big soft pretzel) & beer, a traditional Bavarian breakfast.

That's a radler - beer (lager) and lemonade of some sort, very refreshing.  Pretty sure I have self-made pants you can't see.

We decided after the film fest we'd go somewhere new for a few days.  Vienna, Austria ended up being the winner, it's close enough to be cheap and yet still new to us.  I liked Vienna, it's very beautiful, compact and walkable.  We rented a one bedroom flat through AirBnB.  It was great, we could make breakfast at the flat, if we at a big lunch and just wanted nibblies for dinner, we could do that.  After being in a tiny hotel room in Landshut, it was nice to have a little more space.

Long day of walking, corduroy pencil skirt I made last year.

 The first full day we walked a crazy amount.  Through the old part of Vienna, over to the amusement park, went for a ride in their rather famous Ferris Wheel and Mr. Lina decided we should have lunch at the Donauturm on the Danube, sort of like their version of the CN Tower).  We didn't quite realize how far away it was and ended up walking 20 km that day alone.  Above I still had a few kilometers to walk to get to the flat and I needed to just sit for a bit.  Thank heavens those shoes are comfortable!

Did I mention it was windy at the top of the Ferris Wheel?

We did a day trip to Saltzburg.  It was pretty overcast and damp that day so I can't say I got the best impression.  We walked up to the castle that overlooks the town.  This is the area that The Sound of Music was filmed in.  It wasn't until we were taking the train back to Munich for our flight home that I really saw the alps clearly.

Walking to the castle in Saltzburg, never been so happy to be at the top.

Oh right, this is a sewing blog isn't it?  And I mentioned pants!  

Thurlow Trousers, lunch at the Rathaus in Vienna.

Yep, I made pants.  Since February I have made a black skirt and 3 pairs of Thurlow trousers.  The first were a wearable muslin where I figured out that the leg is just too wide for me.  I'm drowning in them as drafted.  Above I'm wearing the second pair, black twill that is shiny on one side that I put to the inside of the pants.  It means they slide nicely on my skin when I'm walking (which led to me being unable to sit still after too much beer and coffee).  This pair is a bit loose in the waist, but that makes them perfect for travelling and great for bowling.  I have full range of motion but feel put together.  I actually wore that exact outfit to work yesterday now that I look at it.

I made a third pair in grey, it's got some stretch and pile to it, but it's not quite corduroy.  After this pair being a little big, I trimmed them down further but I had such a problem getting the bum right.  Oddly enough I'm not quite as happy with them as the second pair.  I've also got a little post-vacation weight on me so I'm hoping some of that sorts out the fit.  I did wear them on vacation but the days I wore them Mr. Lina only seemed to take pictures from the waist up.  Perhaps he isn't as keen either.

On the adoption front, we're one meeting and an evening training session away from being "Adopt Ready".  I thought the meeting was going to happen today, but our social worker isn't quite ready for us to sign off on it.  He has reviewed our home study with his supervisor and I gather they are really eager to have all the i's dotted and t's crossed and working with an adoption worker to place kids with us.  So soon.  Soon.

The Good Kind of Change

I've been living in some surreal world the past month.  After so much time of talking and planning and thinking and packing but accomplishing nothing... stuff happened.  Lots of stuff.  Life changing stuff.

And boy it sure feels good.

Every time I tell another friend or coworker about the house selling or the house we will be moving to, I feel a glow.  A smile I can't remove, a sparkle in my eyes and face that hasn't always been there.  A smile that isn't a fake it 'till you make it kind of smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

Building on the changes, yesterday I called Children's Aid in the region we're moving to.  A university friend of mine works there and she discreetly asked her adoption coworkers the best avenue for me to proceed and they recommended calling to let us know we were coming.  It's nothing too formal, but now we're on their radar.

It was a good conversation mostly about us - who we are, where we are at mentally, emotionally, how stable our life is  (well, the move is the definition of lack of stability but past that nothing is changing), what we're looking for, etc.  The application package is in the mail.  I felt like I had a good rapport with the social worker.  Typically the worker who takes your call is assigned your case, I am hoping that is the case because I think it's a good fit.  I am glad we took the PRIDE training already.  I had much better answers to his questions and perspective on the intention of the question than I would have without it.  From his perspective, we are seen as a more attractive potential parent because that step is already done.

It seems like a good time in my life for the song "Happy" to be played damn near everywhere.  I saw this video of it on the weekend and it is so powerful to me.  It's from Deaf Film Camp - Camp Mark Seven - and it's all in American Sign Language with subtitles.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Sold!

Everything went pretty much as our real estate agent suggested.  We'd list, let people see the house and "accept offers" at 6pm on the Saturday.

Sure enough, we listed Tuesday, 20 or so people came to see the house, and last night 5 people made offers on it.  The offer we took didn't have any conditions so as of 8pm last night, our house is sold.  Enough over listing value to fund most of the basement renovations on the new house.  :)  I must say I like that part.

It's so nice to have that done.  I don't think it could have gone any better.

We've spent the whole day in the house.  I think after spending every night out, eating out every night, it's good to just be in the house and make our own food.  We can enjoy life again until it's time to move in December.

It's Up

The sign is in the lawn and the listing is publicly available on Realtor.ca.  Did you ever think my sewing room would ever look like this?

Hard to believe this is the same room...

I didn't think those threads would ever come out of the carpet.  Not to say it's perfect, but it is pretty impressive how few are left.

We've got viewings booked for tonight, so we are off to a good start.  We're going to see Guardians of the Galaxy while they tour the house.  I foresee popcorn for dinner.  :)

Happy...

Birthday to me!

Yep, it's that time of year again, another year has passed. Did you know I started kindergarten on my birthday?  I was so excited, school was going to be awesome.  How much better could a birthday be than starting school?  And then I was told you could bring in a bag of cookies on your birthday.  But it WAS my birthday and I didn't have ANY cookies.

Very disappointing.

It's okay, we evened things out by taking cookies on the last day of school which happened to be when my youngest brother was born.

Anyhoo... today is full of cookies for not-5-year-old me.  :)

• My house is listing today, the sign should be in the yard when I get home.
• It really does look good.  I'm quite pleased with our efforts.
• We'll be going out for dinner tonight, my favorite seafood place, Lucy's
• Hopefully people will be looking at the house while we're eating  :)
• I am at work but you know, that just means more people get to say happy birthday to me
• Although really, Facebook is kind of exploding with birthday wishes
• I am having an "I look fabulous" kind of day.

Yay birthdays!

I will leave you with the short video that my team mate in Quebec sent me.  

Dot the I's and Cross the T's

The home inspection was yesterday and for a 29 year old house, it's in great shape.  A few things need dealing with, some sooner than others, but nothing is really all that bad.  All of our conditions on sale have now been met so the house is definitively ours on the 28th of November.

One odd thing the home inspection pointed out is that there isn't a heat vent into my sewing room.  It wouldn't be hard to add one because the furnace is on the other side of the wall.  I am not all that concerned.  I can leave the door open (there is a vent just outside the room) for air to circulate and once the iron is turned on, the room will warm up enough.  How often have I ended up sewing nearly naked with my hair pulled up because I was too hot?

Lately I am quick to tear up and terribly forgetful (like not taking sleeping bags, pillows, chairs or Mr.Lina's camera with us for Summerfolk).  Some of it is probably because this is a lot of change all at once.  Some of it is because I'm tired.  I didn't realize we would be buying a car and house when we got tickets for the Argo game and our usual Summerfolk weekend.  Some of the tears make complete sense, but it's still flowing a little easier than it should.

Small picture hides the slightly puffy eyes.

We bought a new (to us) car last week, 2012 Nissan Murano.  We bought it on Saturday after seeing our house the first time, picked it up on Thursday.  I loved my old Alero.  12 years and 341,000 km of memories.  It was the first car I purchased, 100% mine.  Mr. Lina was with me when I bought it, but he had no involvement in payments or picking it out.  I was either the driver or in the car for more than 300,000 km.  As excited as I was to buy a new car, it was hard leaving the Alero behind and I cried at the dealership (which shouldn't surprise me, I cried when I signed the purchasing papers for the Alero).  I forgot to bring my cheque book which made making the down payment more difficult than it needed to be.  Let's just say that I was a bit of a mess and the dealership probably thinks I'm a complete flake.  Even driving away, the Murano felt foreign, rather than exciting new, I felt insecure initially and resistant to the changes.

It crossed my mind as my eyes were welling up and spilling over about how hard any change is and that this is a moment to remember when I adopt.  When I am matched with my kids, it's going to be such a happy event for Mr. Lina and I.  But it's not quite the same happy event for the kids, it's just one more change in a life of uncertainty.  I don't think they are going to believe us (or the social workers) when we say it is their forever home, that kind of trust and attachment takes time.  The happy part of being told they will live with us will likely be a suspicious happy.  It is okay to be sad about the good byes, good even.  If I'm confused enough to have tears and complicated feelings over a car, imagine how hard that turmoil is to express when you are 6, or 4 or 2.  I'm not sure there is enough crayons out there to express and explore those complicated feelings - where to put the sad part while everyone around you seems to be so very happy and appear to expect you to be happy too.

Now for more change.  It's time to do the last bit of work to list our house.

We Got It

Assuming there are no horror stories uncovered in the home inspection, the house will be ours.  :)  A bit of drama came with it yesterday (and what good story doesn't have drama?)

As I posted yesterday, we were waiting to hear the sellers response to our offer on the house.  The offer expired at 7pm.  Late afternoon, our agent calls.  He got word that another offer was being prepared for the house - did we want to revise our offer since we were not the only one?  

At this point, you have to put your best foot forward.  Our offer of less than listing was based on the premise we would negotiate up, it wasn't going to stack up to another offer.  We told our agent we'd go to full listing, but that was it.  We would walk away from a bidding war, as much as I love the house, there are others.  Our agent agreed and said he would wait to submit the revised offer until he knew the second offer was in writing.  

We had tickets to see the Toronto Argos play the Winnipeg Blue Bombers (CFL football, the older but less financially viable version of the NFL).  Mr. Lina bought these months ago, a conflicting game to cheer for when it's his current home vs childhood home playing.  Given the highway construction going on in Toronto, we chose to take the subway in.  

6:45 we get above ground, waiting for the call.  7pm we grab some food, I'm dealing with the food and money in case Mr. Lina's phone rings...  7:05 passes....

Just as I'm having my purse checked by security to go into the stadium, his phone rings.  And it freezes, so we didn't answer the call.  We got as far out of the way as we could between security and scanning our tickets to call our agent back on my phone.

It seems the other offer never happened.  They didn't want to get into a bidding war and walked away.  He had a counter offer from the sellers, accepting all of our conditions (which were pretty standard - home inspection, financing) and closing date but a price below asking, just not as low as we offered.

I suppose we could have done a little more back and forth on price, but it was fair and we had enough drama already.  It's so strange arriving to a football game with FABULOUS seats and I really couldn't care about how close the players were because I bought a house.

So here is a sneak peek of what will be my sewing room as of Nov 28th.  It's a bit of an odd shape and the closet/door are behind the photographer, it should do quite nicely.

I sewed!

Sadly I'm not done yet so I don't have pictures to show you, but progress has been made.  It's been ages since I last sewed and I'd like to commemorate the event with a sewing room saga.

When my parents were in Florida, I had two pieces of corduroy shipped to them from Fabric Mart.  Sadly, I forgot to save the pictures from the web site and I haven't taken my own.  Mind you, black fabric doesn't photograph well anyhow.  So... piece #1 was black Ralph Lauren stretch pin wale corduroy and #2 is a dusky plum (hedging towards brown) very wide wale corduroy.  The reason pictures are moot is that they would not convey how soft both fabrics are.  I swear the dusky plum is like velvet in it's softness.  Both pieces are far better than the fabric I used for my grey skirt, the skirt that has me wanting another corduroy skirt.

I washed the fabric late last week.  I left it to finish the last drying over the railing in the upstairs hallway so it would be in my way, taunting me.  Sunday I had the whole day free.  I woke up and told myself I'm going to sew today.  And did I?  No, stupid Facebook games...

But the England/Germany trip is fast approaching (like two more sleeps approaching).  I thought of how much I want another somewhat casual skirt to wear.  So I did it.  I moved crap from my sewing room to the guest room, I chucked more stuff to clear off the cutting table.  And I was decisive and I cut.

A pencil skirt is pretty basic.  I have made a few skirts and didn't see an issue.  But then I started looking, I've mostly made A-line skirts, or patterns for stretchy fabrics (my mom loved Stretch n Sew patterns), or for a size 10 that would need grading even from the grading I did when I made it before, I couldn't actually find a pattern that was... perfect.  I have a UFO for the pencil skirt for Butterick 5147 but something went wrong at the zipper.  It's horribly warped and yes, I probably need to put some interfacing to stabilize it, but I think part of the problem is that my hip is not the right distance from my waist making it bunch up too high.  It was not the pencil skirt of my dreams.

Somehow, I thought it would be easier to work from a combination of a) measurements, b) the Lekala back skirt piece (no idea where the front piece is) and c) the front DRESS piece for Lekala 5432 just guessing where to put the waist based on the curve of the hip.  I've made Lekala 5432 many times, first as linked above for a wedding with satin and swiss dot, then again in a knit, then again looser in a light rayon.  Lekala has no seam allowances, but I also needed to add width.  The pencil skirt was 3" smaller than my measurements (with no ease),  I know that the dress I wore to the wedding that is the same size as the pieces is too snug at the moment and I used every bit of seam allowance, so it needed a little width too.  Added to this, I had the back pattern piece but no instructions (although it's no real loss, Lekala directions are well, worse than Burda), so I opened up another pattern to borrow the directions.  And yet, I chose to frankenpattern it up because the shape is right.  Mr. Lina loves that dress because he thinks it makes my ass look good.  I trust his judgement on something I can't see well myself.  I added the requisite inches (roughly) and cut away.

At that point, I became my usual terrified self.  What if it's too small?  I knew I wanted either lining or underlining, I've found tights get caught on my grey cord skirt. So I used the already cut corduroy as my pattern and cut out some Bemberg lining.  I sewed it up with the laziest (crappiest) French seams EVER, and pulled it on with lots of room.  Lots.

For my grey skirt, I finished the seams by zigzagging and while it works and it's fine now, there was a phase of finding loose threads everywhere until it essentially shredded back to the stitches.  While I was trying to find pattern pieces, I came across my shoe box of satin bias tape and I thought that would be lovely on the inside.  So now it's sort of a Hong Kong finish with ivory satin bias tape.  But in my slapdash mood, I just folded the tape over and sewed it up rather than two passes to sew it on like proper bias tape.  The plum stitching looks pretty on the ivory satin bias tape.

As I was about to figure out the zipper situation, Mr. Lina came up to bed.  A sure sign it's time to stop sewing.  I really didn't want to sleep with thoughts of how it could be big like the lining or too small.  In attaching the bias tape, I was also having second thoughts because the seam allowances were going to HAVE to be wider than the bias tape (and thus wider than my crappy French seams).  And the corduroy is a lot thicker than lining, there will be turn of cloth kind of issues, I used the cut cord pieces for my lining patters so the lining is naturally a little bigger... maybe it wouldn't fit...

So I set the longest stitches and sewed up the sides.  The zipper isn't done so I can't speak to the true fit, but it's going to be just fine.  It's not crazy potato sack big, it went over my hips and it's not obvious where my thighs end so I won't be crying as I give it away or wait for 10lbs to magically disappear...  it's going to fit.  I can't speak to the fit at the waist, I haven't sewn the front darts nor the zipper, but if there is a little extra room there I might add a little elastic to pull it in rather than using darts to remove it.  A little pretzel and schnitzel room so to speak.

I am going to wear it in Germany after all.

Loves!

Happy Valentine's Day!  I really despise the commercialism of Valentine's Day but it sure is nice to recognize people you care about.  Mr. Lina and I have a tradition of picking a culture/location and making a meal together on the theme.  This year we're leveraging my future SIL and having a Venezuelan meal.  We're relying pretty heavily on this Venezuelan food blog, I'll let you know how it goes.  Right now all I can say is that the black beans are soaking.

Did you happen to see the Star Wars fashions at Falling Through Your Clothes?  I think it's pretty awesome, and if you liked that, I have a Valentine or two for you.

Maybe you liked the Luke dress better.

No?  Maybe you like the dark side better, look at the drape on that cape.

Oh but Funnygrrl said she liked C-3P0 best.

Full credit to www.somethingawful.com for these great Photoshop Phriday images.

Silly & Random

My thoughts are a bit muddled as I puzzle something out at work today.  I think it's time for a list while the other stuff filters through.  This is going to be a truly random list but it's a start...

• Tasha & Friends had it's premiere last weekend at Buffalo Dreams Film Festival
• I couldn't go, I had already committed to helping my mom at a craft show, pout.
• It won Best Short Comedy and Mr. Lina got to meet his idol in independent film, Lloyd Kaufman
• Toronto folks can see Tasha at Blood in the Snow, I'll be at the 2pm showing on December 1st at the Carleton Theatre, the Saturday show sold so fast they booked a second slot for the short films
• Which is a good thing since I'm going to see Great Big Sea on the Saturday night
• Last weekend we went to see The Drive By Truckers at the Phoenix in Toronto
• The day of the show I woke up WAY too early, didn't nap and by 1am my feet were killing me from standing through the show
• You'd think I'd learn that the Phoenix requires comfy shoes even if I look silly
• On the drive home, I fell asleep
• Not remarkable in and of itself, but I started singing to Mr. Lina
• At least, that's what he told me, I don't remember, I was asleep
• I altered the words from "You are my Sunshine" to "You are My Snuggle-Mr. Lina"
• Which does flow better with his first name
• Good to know I'm cute even when I'm sleeping
• Thus bringing the silly part of the blog title
• I have had a bit of a rough week - migraine, a sad day (but just one day) and perhaps a little too much time to myself
• Work has been busy and occasionally contributed to the overwhelmed feeling (notably on my sad day), highlighted by leaving work at 8pm on Friday night
• I needed people to leave so I could get my own work done and Mr. Lina was already in Buffalo so no rush to get home really
• I am gradually working on the house, but it's a pretty slow pace
• I don't have the love of organisation that others do, packing and tossing stuff doesn't come easy for me
• I did tons of laundry this weekend and a lot of clean clothes are not going back in the drawers 
• I don't want to pack anything that doesn't fit and has no sentimental reason to keep
• I had the weekend to myself, looked forward to sewing, but a migraine put the kibosh on that, I stuck to doing laundry.
• Migraines suck, but it's been a long time since my last one so I'm really thankful for that
• Monday I was still kind of struggling with noises, particularly loud voices
• Sounds odd to cover noise with noise, but soft jazz in my headphones was soothing compared to talking, it's reminded me how much I like jazz from the 50's-60's.
• Yesterday was Remembrance Day
• I heard a poem by Dorothy Jamieson on the radio and after the poem, she said a few words to the audience that stuck with me:  Freedom isn't Free
• True in more ways than her military reference
• Next Thursday we're hosting Bill Bourne, winner of both Blues and Folk Juno awards
• That's going to be super cool.
• I get to make dinner for him.  How cool is that?
• I've already got 21 people confirmed for the show, that leaves about 10 seats and some time to go before the show (let me know if you'd like one of those 10 seats)
• The founder of the organisation for our house concerts, Mitch Podolack, was recognised for his contributions to folk music in Canada at the Canadian Folk Music Awards in Calgary, the CBC has this article on him
• We spent a lot of time with Mitch this year at the Folk Music Ontario conference, I am truly lucky to have had the chance to get to know him.
• To end this on a sewing note, I have a strange itch to make pants. 
• I even bought both Sewaholic pants patterns when she had her Thanksgiving sale
• But it's kind of scary.

Here's a little music so it's not without something pretty.  I like the words to this song.  As much as I'm dragging my heels, I am looking forward to building a brand new house full of love.  :)

Another Sign of Summer Ending

Today is my 9th anniversary.  9 years ago, we looked like this:

It was a wonderful day.  One of the warmer days in a fairly cool summer, but not so hot to be uncomfortable.  All of my outdoor pictures have someone squinting from the sun.  I was so excited, it was all I could do to not jump.  I think I was while I waited in the vestry.  Time is such a strange thing.  It feels like it wasn't that long ago we got married but I feel like I've had his last name for longer than 9 years.  On the crazy roller coaster I've been on, there is no one else I'd rather have holding my hand.

Yesterday when I was about to leave work, my youngest brother started up a conversation with me.  I like writing and by extension chatting.  You get time to think about your reply but the speed lacking in email where you can immediately clarify when the intended tone is not understood.  We chatted for about 2 hours.  I think security were the only other people left in the building when I went home, but it was worth staying.  My brother and SIL know I'm not going to take news like that overly well and no, they were not so wrapped up in their baby bliss to not notice the lack of response and change of subject.  And I had time to explain to him that I don't like being told in person, that I'd rather have an email where I can compose myself privately before replying.  It's not his job to manage my feelings, nor my job to manage his.  But I do appreciate the time to manage my feelings without an audience.  Net-net, all is good between us and I feel good today.

Chair Dance!

My breasts continue to be good predictors.

I am pregnant.

Now don't go too crazy here.  This is undoubtedly good news, but we are just entering the murky woods of pregnancy for me. 

Pregnancy tests measure the levels of the hormone HCG in your blood.  A home pregnancy test is sensitive to 25.  I have had positive results ranging from 111 to 8.  Today, it's 68.  Not as high as last year, but according to this chart, puts me at a very low chance of chemical pregnancy (that would be failing the test on Friday), about a 5% chance of multiples, a little over 30% chance of miscarriage and roughly 58% of a live singleton.

I'm pretty pleased (in a tempered optimism way). 

Next steps?  Medications stay the same, we test again on Friday.  In early pregnancy, HCG levels should double every 48-72 hours.  If it's not growing in that range of normal, this is not likely to be a viable pregnancy.  That number means more to me than today's results.  I really want to see my HCG above 120.  If it is a good result on Friday, we'll do the intralipids and Humira again on Tuesday.

7 out of 8 IVF/FET cycles, that's an awesome batting average.  Now to focus on staying pregnant!

All aboard!

My two rather adorable (in a microscopic sense) embryos are settling in my uterus.  The transfer went well, it's not a painful or even uncomfortable (well, beyond everyone in the room looking at your lady parts but I'm SOOOO far beyond caring about that).  The clinic was not busy and called to ask if we could come in early, they were going to be ready.  Very strange.  Most transfer cycles I'm left waiting because other time sensitive procedures get pushed ahead of me.  My embryos were continuing to expand after thawing so all looked well in that respect.

Only down side was my own doing.  I decided we didn't need the alarm going off quite as early as usual, a bit past 7 was early enough.  I woke up before the alarm went off (dreaming of my niece, it was a nice way to wake up), showered, got dressed, walked past a clock and saw....  6:35.  Went to another clock, it also said 6.  My alarm clock said 7.  I guess in changing the alarm time I changed the clock time too.  Oops.  Better too early than too late.

Next steps are just to sit tight today and tomorrow and let Mr. Lina pamper me.  I return to work on Wednesday.  Thursday I go in to get my progesterone levels checked.  The 19th we get to find out if things stuck.  Which, of course, they will.

Seriously this is the best part.  I know I have two well developed embryos in me.  Ain't nothin' wrong with that.

Stop Press! Pattern Pyramid!

As the lucky winner of the Pattern Pyramid at Country Girl Couture, it means I get to have a give away myself.

What's the Pattern Pyramid you say?  It's a great idea from Karen at Did You Make That?.  She hosted a give away for multiple patterns to multiple winners.  As the winner, you got to keep one pattern of the 5 or 6 you were sent and pass the rest along.  What a great way to shake up our pattern stashes and share the love.  I went back to her original post to get the link and you know it's been almost a full year since the pyramid started?  Karen's post was June 22nd, 2012.  I tracked this pyramid back and the lineage is quite impressive.  I'm not the first Canadian stop for these patterns (I even had the pleasure of meeting Gjeometry at the Toronto Meet Up) and it's actually the spin off pyramid from Pretty Grievances.  As far as I can track the blogs back, these are previous winners...

1. Me
2. CG Couture
3. Dresses & Me
4. Sew Biased
5. Tropical Threads
6. So I Sewed This
7. G Marie
8. Kathy Sews
9. Hugs & Kisses
10. Curious Kiwi
11. Gjeometry
12. Symon Sez
13. Tulle & Tweed
14. Mrs Mole
15. The Material Lady
16. Velosewer
17. And Anne herself.

So here are the patterns for my giveaway (it's hard to make 7 patterns look like a pyramid, but my backyard stairs helped).

6 are from CG Couture (the Vogue pattern has cup sizes), but I've replaced the one I took with this one.

Kwik Sew 2101 is a bra I have made.  It is not a bad pattern, but it's not the right pattern for my breasts.  If you have wanted to try making a bra but lack a pattern, here is one for you to check out.  The size range is 32A to 38DD.

And what did I take?

I was sorely tempted by the halter jumpsuit in this pattern:

But it would have required grading from a 34" bust which is well beyond my skills (and attention span) at the moment.  So I went for a fun sundress instead that will not require grading.

 

 

 

THE RULES

• Anyone, anywhere can enter the giveaway by posting a comment below by midnight EST Sunday June 9th BUT you must have an active blog.
• I will randomly select one winner.
• I will mail the above 7 patterns to the winner.
• The winner will pick a pattern to keep for themselves (although some people have picked more than one and replaced them with others, that is in the spirit of the pyramid), then host their own giveaway.
• Although I've added a pattern, you are not required to add to the pyramid for your giveaway.
• If you are a winner, Karen would love it if you could make a small contribution to The Brooke. This is a charity close to the heart of Catherine, who so generously provided the original patterns.

Happy Friday!

What a week of ups and downs...

• Icky car bill
• Came out of my office last night to see I had a flat tire
• Which is why we have CAA, I haven't the faintest clue what to do about that
• Apparently I have a spare tire in my trunk, I didn't know that
• But I didn't need it
• They couldn't find the leak, given that I had the tires rotated on Tues/Wed, the cap probably got knocked causing the slow leak
• So three cheers for not needing a new tire!
• The CAA guy was so nice, he taught me how to check the pressure and didn't treat me like a bumbling idiot because although I could recognise what a pressure gauge looked like, I had no clue how it worked or what the numbers indicated.
• In trying to find a tire gauge in my car, I found the camera!
• Yay for blog posts with pictures!
• Of course not yet since I just found the camera
• Making good choices has been a little harder this week, my weight reflected the all you can eat buffet (and alcohol) of Saturday and the salty Swiss Chalet dinner that Mr. Lina ordered while I was napping on Wednesday
• Swiss Chalet can be healthy, but I licked up every bit of salty dipping sauce, he ordered me mashed potatoes when a better choice would be baked and I ate the salty, crispy skin.
• Yesterday my body seemed to clear all the water it was holding onto and I'm now back to my previous "recent low" and I feel better for it
• Now to make good choices tonight while playing board games tonight.
• I have more people to train and mentor at work, that's always fun.
• I'm wasting too much time playing stupid Facebook games at night when I'm tired.
• What's too much?  I woke up at 3am dreaming about sliding candy pieces around
• We booked a trip to Manitoba last night for the week of Canada Day.
• If things go well, it will delay my 6 week ultrasound (and third intralipids) by 5 days, but the clinic said that's fine.
• Nothing wrong with a week off work if things go well, my in laws don't stress me out.
• Although our choice to travel might stress them out.
• If things don't go well, I can lick my wounds without going to work.
• If things don't go well while we're there, it wouldn't be because of the trip, and geography won't change the fact they can't make bad things stop happening.
• Mr. Lina's grandmother (who will be 90 in September) had another spell this week, she's spending 5 days in the hospital and should be getting a pace maker this weekend if I understand right.
• His great aunt and uncle are celebrating their 60th anniversary on July 6th, we'll leave the next day.
• My MIL thinks his uncle will stop dialysis after that party, he's been fighting a good fight for a while.
• It's a lot of pull to visit now and not in 3 months or 6 months. 
• IT'S FRIDAY!!!  YAY!

Weekend Review - Creativ Festival

Kay at Gently Down the Seam (side note, I think this is my favourite sewing pun for a blog) sent out a little note to people who participated in the Toronto meet up that she was going to both days of the Creativ Festival, was anyone else going?  I didn't even know about it but it seemed my Saturday was free and I welcomed the opportunity to strengthen some online ties in person. Kay, Adrienne, and Debbie have already posted about it.

Picture from Debbie, myself, Kay, Debbie and Adrienne.

I have to say that without Kay pointing it out, I wouldn't have thought twice about it.  So often the focus is on crafts I find interesting but not me.  Like quilting, scrap booking or beading.  I was pleasantly surprised by the titles of the workshops, there did seem to be garment sewing content.

The  web site was a little challenging to find what I wanted.  At one point I thought I was on their web site but it was really the blog.  I read something about advanced group tickets and the cut off for that was Monday and this was Thursday, I assumed that was the same for advanced tickets.  I was busy at work and not looking too carefully, I thought I would just buy my ticket at the door.

One session I was really keen on was at 9:30 - Make Bra.  Sounds right up my alley.  Imagine the frustration when Debbie and I got there at 9:15 (she with e-ticket in hand) that the door sales didn't start until 9:30 and I couldn't get in until 10.  Their reasoning was that it was incentive to buy in advance.  I get that, there was a draw for $900 to spend at the festival open to Debbie and not me, that's a good incentive.  Letting people in to shop the booths early, also incentive.  But starting seminars before it opens for everyone?  It felt like punishment to me, not incentive to them.

Debbie is interested in tatting and I've always been a little curious about how it's done so we went to a free intro-to-tatting lesson.  Half an hour is not enough time to learn much of anything but I got the concept of what was involved so I'll appreciate the work that went into tatting I see in the future.

The main stage had two sessions that were a blur of clothing and sales pitches (and lunch for us).  Some of it was kind of interesting, but I found them a bit of a whirlwind.  The focus seemed to be:

1. It's okay to eat cookies, just sew with elastic (that session was titled .Comfortable Clothes that Camouflage, but I could have used more camouflage and less "insert elastic here!")
2. Sewing is easy, cut a circle in a square and you have a skirt.
3. When in doubt, add embellishment (jewels, metallic, etc) but not the sleeves, you don't want to overdo it.

Now as my weight has changed, I appreciate knits and elastics, but some of it seemed beyond slapdash and into magic wand territory.  I am not a couture sewer at all, I'm just not in that stage of my sewing career.  Let's focus on me getting one thing done rather than soaking 30 hours of sewing into a winter coat.  But even I found this a little much.  You would think that if you went to the festival and you chose to join that session,  you have some knowledge of sewing already.  So why focus so much on making sewing look like magic because it's so easy?  And from a fashion perspective, well, it wasn't overly inspiring either.  I'm not interested in bejewelling my clothing and when I did see something I liked (lightly padding a lapel on a jacket that was puckering at the seams) it was so fast I didn't really have a chance to absorb what she did to make it work. 

Interesting though, I have found myself thinking about these two sessions a lot and what it means in the wider sewing world, so maybe my review is sounding harsher than it should.  This was like the opposite of Myrna Giesbrecht who will muslin many time to get what she wants and savours the process of getting there.  Or K-Line with her many muslined Spring Suit project.  But, there were times when I thought Myrna would like some of the embellishments (maybe not the Cirque du Soleil foiling).  I seem to remember a comment about using threads to add detail, something I know she would like.

As others have noted, the fitting session with Lorraine Henry was really awesome.  Half an hour was not nearly enough time.  I had traced out the Alma blouse prior to the show and done a FBA but still feeling a little insecure with it.  After sewing a few tents and potato sacks lately, I'm feeling hesitant.  It was great to see her discussing a FBA specifically, it really made me feel more confident that I'd put the extra space in the right spot. 

And while the session on sewing machine & serger maintenance with Joanne Brousseau sounds pretty dry, I spent a good 45 minutes cleaning my machine on Sunday.  Clearly it was inspiring.  Looking at the machine closely, I noticed the arm is a little pink.  I think the red ponte for Tiramisu has rubbed off.  I'll have to be careful when I wash it, maybe put one of the dye catchers in the wash.

If I had gone on my own, I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it.  I would have sat through a few sessions (probably skipped the machine maintenance), felt overwhelmed by the people and the frequent sales pitches (I was starting to expect the as seen on TV kind of lines of "but wait, there's more!" or "with three easy payments of...") and left.  But with the ladies, I was open to any of the sessions, it was lovely to talk (and laugh) and break up the knowledge soaking that went on.  My brain felt full when I got home.

Both pre-washed, striped shirting on the right has been cut.

Sunday I ended up with a bit of a hang over (oops) and Mr. Lina had people over to record voice work so I had to be quiet, the microphone will pick up the sewing machine and foot steps two floors up.  But I felt the itch and interest returning through my headache.  As well as the machine cleaning session, I pre-washed fabric above, ironed 3m of one of the shirtings, cut out the Alma and started sewing the darts/stay stitching.  This morning I popped into my sewing room to get something and noticed one point from the V cut in (I'm doing View A) was curling a little and I started ironing and adding a little strip of interfacing to the seam allowance.  I never sew in the morning.  Never.

I take this as a very good sign.

The Tale of Two Capes

I have a lot of options for projects to finish.  Tiramisu, the Vogue in silk noil, the Burda dress, the Almas my wardrobe would benefit from...

And what did I sew?

A cape.

Not just any cape, a purple cape for a Skelator costume.

Oh, you didn't have brothers/sons/a heart beat in the 80's to make you watch He-Man?  Here's the refresher.

Source: http://www.comicvine.com/skeletor/4005-16424/

A loooong time ago, I made a black cape.  My boyfriend at the time wanted to be Darth Maul for Halloween, Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace had released that year.  To be a Sith he really needed a big flowy cape but being Halloween, it's just made of cheap broadcloth and unlined.  I seem to remember draping it over him and pinning until it looked right and had a hood.  There is no pattern to refer to, no notes from 1999 kicking around, not even pictures of the event.  Just the cape itself which is much too long because Mr. Lina and I are much shorter than my 6' 1" ex-boyfriend.  On the plus side, the actor who will wear the purple cape is 6' so no need to hem it.

My sewing skills were a mixed bag at the time (not that it's all that much different now).  I knew how a sewing machine worked very well.  I understood the concepts of grain lines, was well versed in turning things inside out thanks to Mom's bibs.  I watched her sew many things and Fabricland felt like a second home.  Things  I did not get? 

• Patterns, the language eluded me.
• Finishing seams for wovens.  Mom does not sew clothing, everything she made was turned inside out and usually had top stitching.
• Full bust adjustments (not that it's a factor in this cape)
• I don't think I understood bias tape at that point.

So looking at this cape, I am pleasantly surprised with some things I did and shake my head at others.

• I draped the three panels so there was an arm hole, very wise move
• All selvages were left alone, I knew I didn't have to do anything with them and that's true for the purple cape, it's a costume, not couture.
• All cut (well, ripped along the grain line) edges were just folded back and sewn, so you can see the raggedy edges
• I used such narrow seam allowances and crappy finishings that some of the side panel stitching have come apart.
• The hood falls perfectly, just like the character I was aiming for.  This is something I didn't improve in the purple version, I should have pulled more fabric into the hood.
• The weight is mostly carried by the shoulders, not pulling back at the neck.
• It moves so well when he walked.  Pictures do not do that justice.

As many others have found, it's interesting to look back at your early days of sewing.

It's a very good thing I didn't hem that black cloak shorter.  It worked really well yesterday on the film shoot.

First time I've answered to the call "WARDROBE!"

The film shoot went well.  It's going to be a video, rock song about a guy doing a series of stupid things and pissing people off.  Like going to the movies and being obnoxious, being Skelator on the subway (you know not one person stopped us, a few looked, a few took pictures, but not many really stared or got pissed off).  It's a series of small events, we'll see how it all comes together in editing but they have some great footage.  I believe it will end up on YouTube so when it does, I'll add in a link.