Let the summer begin!

I can't believe it's already May and a Canadian long weekend is here.  I'm still not used to writing 2015 yet (which is not helped that the software I use has been the "December 2014" version until a week ago).  We are off camping this weekend, our May long tradition.  The weather should be pretty good for May camping - today being the coldest day with a high of 18C and overnight low of 8C.  A chance of showers here and there but not a whole weekend of rain.  I can deal with that.

May has had some lovely weather.  It's well earned after that ever lasting winter.  This picture is from a week ago, all those trees have filled out since then  We put up a Manitoba flag in the back yard.  The previous owners had a short flag pole on the deck and it's made it feel a little more like ours.  We've been eating outside pretty much every night, admittedly sometimes with a little lap blanket as the temperatures are still cool in the evening.

This may be a bit of TMI, but anyone left reading after all the infertility crap should be used to that.

I never had a regular cycle and it became abundantly clear in all that treatment that I don't ovulate regularly.  So life without fertility treatments and hormones is the new "normal" for me.  Generally, it's pretty awesome not to have to worry about my period for weeks on end, but I'm sort of seeing the down side too.  When I do get my period, I am getting a pretty bad case of PMS, something I'm not really used to.  Two weeks out my breasts get heavy and sore.  Two freaking weeks.  And as those two weeks go by, my mood gets worse.  More apathetic, more likely to tear up at stupid things, less productive.  If I don't want to make dinner, sew or buy groceries, you can imagine how inclined I am to go to work.  And all this was at it's worst on Mother's Day - like one of the top 3 triggers for sadness and negative thoughts.

It is lovely to feel like myself again.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

Things are moving along on the adoption front.  We have an assigned worker and have a date in June to meet the whole team.  That isn't holding them back from presenting kids to us.  I can't talk about the kids, and I am not saying these are the ones, but we're at the point of making some pretty big and scary decisions.  It's pretty cool.

So now that I'm "ME" again, maybe after camping I can finish up the silk noil Hollyburn I cut out.

Blink!

When we drove through small towns, my mom would always say "Don't blink or you'll miss it".  I kind of feel like every time I blink, time is flying by.

Let's see...

• Had someone come and clean my house.  
• I can pack or clean, not both.  
• Best money I've spent in a long time, selling the house now seems feasible.
• I had no idea how many patterns I actually had.  
• The box I thought might be half full of patterns and have space for notions was overflowing.
• Real estate agent says houses in my area sell on average in 14 days, many sell in 4 days.
• We're going to buy the house we want, have a 75-90 day close, then list our house.
• We looked at 4 houses last week, they were all good but not quite right for us. 
• Side rant on floor plans.  How can a house can have 1,000 sq ft more than my house and I am not sure where I'd fit some of my furniture?  Why would two of three bedrooms need walk in closets?  And come to think of it, the second closet touches the third bedroom wall, they could have made smaller (yet still walk in - yes it's that big but perhaps too narrow for a 4th bedroom) closets for both rooms.
• Still haven't bought a car, but we've narrowed down what we're looking for.  We set aside Sunday to look at cars and then found out the dealerships that we wanted to go to were closed.  Oops.
• So we had my parents, brother, SIL and nephew over for dinner instead of looking at cars.  It all worked out well, nice impromptu dinner party.
• We've gone to two 40th birthday parties in two weeks.  Those milestone years are just one party after another, and you find out which friends are a year older than you.  :)
• I've also had strep throat.  I thought I had a cold courtesy of my two sick co-workers.  Clearly I'm not a doctor.
• Lots of time with Mr. Lina.  

August 21st will be our 10th anniversary.  Talk about blink and you'll miss it.  I feel like it was a couple of years ago that I was putting on my big white dress and dancing our first dance.  Maybe last year that we celebrated 5 years.  And yet, the days pre-Mr. Lina seem a bit faded and distant.  The past oh... month I guess, it's been a bit of a throw back to our dating days.  I suspect part of it is knowing that with moving to another community and kids to follow after that, our "family of two" time is coming to an end.  We've gone out dancing, we've been on real dates in new locations, we've been talking a lot.  I've found myself telling stories about when we were dating, some of the silly things we did in that rush of a new relationship.  Even at one of the 40th birthday parties, I was telling the birthday-wife our "how we met" story since she's only known us as a couple.  Even in Manitoba we were talking about how it will be different - from the practicalities of where do we sleep to how we'll visit with friends.  When we're in Brandon, we often go to a friends place or a pub and enjoy a tipsy walk home at 2am.

It is going to be different, not to say bad, just different.  We are appreciating the good parts of being a couple at the moment, the benefits of our current home, and it's like that new relationship excitement over the changes to come.

Silly & Random

My thoughts are a bit muddled as I puzzle something out at work today.  I think it's time for a list while the other stuff filters through.  This is going to be a truly random list but it's a start...

• Tasha & Friends had it's premiere last weekend at Buffalo Dreams Film Festival
• I couldn't go, I had already committed to helping my mom at a craft show, pout.
• It won Best Short Comedy and Mr. Lina got to meet his idol in independent film, Lloyd Kaufman
• Toronto folks can see Tasha at Blood in the Snow, I'll be at the 2pm showing on December 1st at the Carleton Theatre, the Saturday show sold so fast they booked a second slot for the short films
• Which is a good thing since I'm going to see Great Big Sea on the Saturday night
• Last weekend we went to see The Drive By Truckers at the Phoenix in Toronto
• The day of the show I woke up WAY too early, didn't nap and by 1am my feet were killing me from standing through the show
• You'd think I'd learn that the Phoenix requires comfy shoes even if I look silly
• On the drive home, I fell asleep
• Not remarkable in and of itself, but I started singing to Mr. Lina
• At least, that's what he told me, I don't remember, I was asleep
• I altered the words from "You are my Sunshine" to "You are My Snuggle-Mr. Lina"
• Which does flow better with his first name
• Good to know I'm cute even when I'm sleeping
• Thus bringing the silly part of the blog title
• I have had a bit of a rough week - migraine, a sad day (but just one day) and perhaps a little too much time to myself
• Work has been busy and occasionally contributed to the overwhelmed feeling (notably on my sad day), highlighted by leaving work at 8pm on Friday night
• I needed people to leave so I could get my own work done and Mr. Lina was already in Buffalo so no rush to get home really
• I am gradually working on the house, but it's a pretty slow pace
• I don't have the love of organisation that others do, packing and tossing stuff doesn't come easy for me
• I did tons of laundry this weekend and a lot of clean clothes are not going back in the drawers 
• I don't want to pack anything that doesn't fit and has no sentimental reason to keep
• I had the weekend to myself, looked forward to sewing, but a migraine put the kibosh on that, I stuck to doing laundry.
• Migraines suck, but it's been a long time since my last one so I'm really thankful for that
• Monday I was still kind of struggling with noises, particularly loud voices
• Sounds odd to cover noise with noise, but soft jazz in my headphones was soothing compared to talking, it's reminded me how much I like jazz from the 50's-60's.
• Yesterday was Remembrance Day
• I heard a poem by Dorothy Jamieson on the radio and after the poem, she said a few words to the audience that stuck with me:  Freedom isn't Free
• True in more ways than her military reference
• Next Thursday we're hosting Bill Bourne, winner of both Blues and Folk Juno awards
• That's going to be super cool.
• I get to make dinner for him.  How cool is that?
• I've already got 21 people confirmed for the show, that leaves about 10 seats and some time to go before the show (let me know if you'd like one of those 10 seats)
• The founder of the organisation for our house concerts, Mitch Podolack, was recognised for his contributions to folk music in Canada at the Canadian Folk Music Awards in Calgary, the CBC has this article on him
• We spent a lot of time with Mitch this year at the Folk Music Ontario conference, I am truly lucky to have had the chance to get to know him.
• To end this on a sewing note, I have a strange itch to make pants. 
• I even bought both Sewaholic pants patterns when she had her Thanksgiving sale
• But it's kind of scary.

Here's a little music so it's not without something pretty.  I like the words to this song.  As much as I'm dragging my heels, I am looking forward to building a brand new house full of love.  :)

Time Flies

I know this sounds like a broken record, but I'm not sure where the days  are going.  I haven't been in a great mental state to blog but I didn't realize it was over two weeks.  How strange.

So what's happened in two weeks?

• We went camping with a mix of friends, my brother and his girlfriend, my cousing and his wife.  Weather was good, I slept enough, Scot and his girlfriend were super cool and did not talk about the pregancy but I did give him a real hug and true congratulations.
• I went to a wedding in another city on the Saturday of Labour Day weekend, stayed the night, saw friends, it was good
• It was my birthday on the Monday of Labour Day weekend
• My SIL has decided that she needs some help being in the first trimester and chasing a 13 month old while my brother is on course work and can't help her
• So she (and my niece) came home and we surprised my parents with their arrival at my birthday dinner
• My niece is adorable
• I was kind of glad when they all went home
• Do you know how much cleaning we had to do to have a toddler in the house when the living room looked like the basement threw up crap and furniture all over it?  I'm not kidding, I had a path to the couch when my brother and SIL brought up the idea of her visiting.
• I wore my white lawn bowling skirt, but I don't have good a picture of me in it, my niece was naturally the cetre of attention.
• I had some post-birthday blues afterwards, I would have been okay skipping my birthday this year for some reason.
• We found out our mortgage was up for renewal this year, not next year so we had to rather quickly sort that out.
• We provided a weekend of respite, my friend from Summerfolk who has Down's Syndrome stayed with us to give his mom a break, she needed it.
• That went really well. 
• I started sewing for Mr. Lina.  Not for HIM, but movie stuff.  He needs a yamika/kippah, appliques of naughty reindeer added to a sweater and a crazy costume for one actress before the last weekend of September.
• I have never even met the actress, I think I'll be "fitting" with elastic.
• Yamika #1 from this kippah pattern came out a little wonky, poor fabric choice on my part and a little small given that the head it's going on has a full mask, it's bigger than a normal head.  It's a good pattern though, I'm sticking with it for my next attempt.  I think with 6 panels it ends up with a better curve than just 4 panels like most kippah patterns I found online.
• I went to a TIFF after party which was super cool.  One of my clients was sponsoring a film (The Grand Seduction) and while they didn't have tickets to the movie, they did give me tickets to the party.  So strange going to a party at 9pm on a Sunday.  But we got prettied up and went.

• And coming up... one last kick at the camping can this weekend, bowling starts tonight, Mr. Lina is getting us storage space to start really moving boxes out of the house, house concert season is starting up (100 Mile House from Alberta on Monday Sept 23, those local, let me know if you're interested in coming), and I need a nap.

 

The Parking Lot

The other day I was meeting with someone at work and she talked about "The Parking Lot".  She was giving advice to my new coworker that he didn't need to know everything right off the bat.  It was always okay to say "I don't know, let's put that in The Parking Lot and I'll find out for you".  It's good advice, he's not going to catch up to my 7 years of doing this in 3 weeks.

For me, this blog has become a parking lot.  Sometimes when I'm at work, ideas swirl around and they need to go somewhere so I can focus.  A quick post here serves that purpose (and lets me delay doing work I'm not all that interested in).  It's not so much , but it does become a storage place for ideas I need to set aside.

I haven't been posting much lately for a few reasons.

• I'm mentoring "the new guy".  Either I'm looking at his screen or he's looking at mine.
• That takes up a lot of time and I still have my own work to do, no time to procrastinate.
• I'm interested in what I'm doing at work again so my attention span is better. 
• I don't have negative thought swirling around that need temporary storage.
• I spend all day in front of a computer, so when I'm home, I don't spend much time online.  If I don't find time to post at work, I'm not likely to post at home.
• I don't have a lot to think about, I'm at an action stage more than a thinking stage.

This weekend was great.  We are getting the basement and hallways/stairs to the second floor painted on Wed/Thurs which means we have to declutter to let the painters get at the walls.  The basement is where we hang out, it's full of media and stuff.  We filled 14 52L totes with books, DVD's and CDs and 5 paper boxes of books.  And that's still not everything.  What can I say?  Mr. Lina likes his movies and we support a lot of musicians by purchasing CDs.

In May we (that's the royal we, meaning mostly Mr. Lina) sanded the deck and stained it, the focus being on the horizontal boards of the deck so we could set out our new patio furniture.  Sunday we finally had the weather and time to finish the railings.  We weren't sanding those down, just painting over them.  It was hot and sweaty work but it looks nice now that it is done.  Another box ticked off on the to-do list.

Mr. Lina started a batch of beer with a friend on Monday (a stat holiday in Ontario).  They are splitting the batch of a Belgian Tripel they are trying to clone (smile, nod, no it doesn't mean much to me either but if you want to know more, check this out).  So I had to clean the kitchen so they could make a mess of it with the beer making (which they did generally clean up).

And I sewed.  Yes indeed, I've made another Sorbetto.  This is now the 4th time I've made this pattern but I need that kind of low thinking/pre-traced sewing to get me back into the swing of things and this does fill a wardrobe gap.  There was still some thinking involved since the first two don't really fit well at the bust (not sure if they ever did or if it's a change in bras), even after #3 it still needed some tweaking.  I asked Mr. Lina to take pictures of me on Friday when I wore #3 to work, but it didn't quite happen.  #4 needs to be hemmed and we'll see how #3 did in the wash last night.  It's 100% cotton and came out wrinkly (as expected from cotton), hopefully it did all of it's shrinking in the pre-wash.

So moving two 64L bins of fabric our of my sewing room seems to have had a positive impact - productivity.  Saturday I'll be joining the Toronto Meet Up (details here - and I have a choice of new shirts to wear!), which means shopping, the opposite of decluttering.  I might have to keep an eye out for some white fabric.  We're doing a team fun day of lawn bowling on Monday afternoon, wearing white is required.  I suspect my pale beige pencil skirt that probably doesn't fit me at my present weight is a good choice for lawn bowling.  A white A line skirt might be in order and I'm sure the only white in my stash is broadcloth.

Victoria Day List

Provera is making my head rather fuzzy, paragraphs are challenging so let's go for a list...

• It's actually Friday, not Tuesday!
• 4 of 7 pills have been taken of Provera
• No hot flashes, no tears, no apathy
• Horrible brain fog.
• Grocery shopping with brain fog is not very efficient or effective.
• I wanted to buy non-paper tape for wrapping up my toe (it still aches with some motions) and Mr. Lina's hand.
• I am sure I looked at cloth tape
• I am sure I priced out that the roll was cheaper than the tape dispenser.
• I bought paper tape.
• It's a long weekend - Victoria Day.
• We have an unofficial early close, if nothing is due, you can leave early.
• Like I should be trusted to get anything done without errors when I can't buy cloth bandages.
• I am 7lbs down from my high weight and feeling rather happy about that.
• The strategy to make better choices is working and one good choice reinforces wanting to make the next good choice.
• My pants fit better, I don't feel bloated, it's good.tr
• I think I felt a small earthquake this morning.
• The Pattern Pyramid has arrived, post and contest to come soon.
• It's almost time to go!
• Yay!

Ramble On

* Edited to add a picture of my poor toe.
I started a sewing post yesterday (yes, I have been productive in my vaguely "tidy" sewing room) but it is going to have to wait (it would be better with pictures anyhow).  My thoughts are rather jumbled so let's do a list, shall we?

• I hurt (broke/cracked/jammed?) my right middle toe last night.  We were taking out the garbage I was looking up at the house rather than where my feet were going and I stepped on the curb of the driveway at a bad angle.  This pulled my foot in one way and my crappy ballet flat in the other and pinched my toes.  I really can't explain how it happened, all I know is my shoe was not on my foot by the time I looked down and some not nice words were coming out of my mouth.
• On the plus side, I didn't hurt my ankle.
• You don't realize how important toes are until they hurt.

Poor toe.  It wasn't this bruised when I left for work.

• Weird things are going on with my hormones
• My breasts are sore.
• I think they are also getting bigger, looking at where the under wire lines are on my body at the end of the day, they aren't far enough back.
• I started crying on the drive home last night.
• I cried on my drive to work.
• Granted, both happened while I was listening to the news about the bombing in Boston so it's not without reason, but I'm not sure that's the only reason.
• I am not unhappy.
• But... what if this is where it starts?  I don't want to ignore signs like what feel like disproportionate tears.
• Remember how my manager quit?  I told my new manager about my fertility issues yesterday.
• Rather than replacing my former manager directly with someone senior, they are using that salary to hire two junior positions. It's a good call in my book, we need more people to do the work that is being sold.
• Someone else on our team quit, her last day is Tuesday.
• This requires shuffling people to meet her client facing responsibilities.  Her client days (and mine) are paid for by that client, we can't have a gap.
• I was offered being on site one day a week with a client as part of the shuffling.  I turned it down.
• It's probably the first time I've made a decision on what I (didn't) want to do at work.
• Why not?  We're hiring three new people in the next few months (I gather two are pretty much decided on) and they will need support.  If training others is what I enjoy doing, I'd rather have the time to do it. 
• Besides, I kind of admitted to myself (and my new manager), I'm a bit bored with my client facing role.  Two days a week is enough.
• In order to build up the skills of our two most junior on sites, they will now be sending their work through me before sending it to the client.  I like this, a chance to work with them to build their skill set and bring another perspective to a project. 
• Honestly, both of them come to me with questions anyhow, it's just being formalized that I'll see the finished work too.  They won't feel like they are pestering me and I will get recognition for helping them.  Win-win.

So lots of stuff going on right now.  Honest, sewing post is coming soon.  It involves draping purple broad cloth of all things.

Time for a List

The feelings of overwhelmed are strong in this one...

Time for a list.

• I've found the cure for infertility, apparently it's me.  Another friend who talked to me about her fertility issues is now pregnant, she's been seeing my doctor for maybe 5 months.  I think I'm 5 for 5 now.
• I haven't told Mr. Lina, I have come close but I can't actually say the words.
• I have too much going on at work, it's overwhelming.
• Yesterday was a stat holiday in Ontario, I knew I should do some work to make today easier and I just couldn't force myself to do it.
• I don't even want to open my email now.
• Last night I woke up quite a few times, it was not a restful night at all.
• Too hot
• Bad dream - I was driving and saw in my rearview that I was going to be hit from behind, I turned the car a little so it wasn't too hard a bump and the driver drove off, I wasn't hurt nor was my passenger, but I woke up stressing about where to get the car fixed, would insurance pay for it, should I wait for the police or drive to a collision reporting centre....  You'd think it would be the bump from the car that would wake me up, but no, I have more mundane things to worry about.
• Headache, strange since I sleep through migraines and typically think of sleep as a solution to headaches, but it was bad enough to require Advil to fall back asleep.
• Mr. Lina said I was snoring, not something I do typically.
• I think the 35 sizing for Tiramisu will work better, but it's still kind of funky and I couldn't think through it.  Turned on the lights, sewed one temporary seam, tried it on and walked away from my sewing room.
• Sunday we hosted a chili cook off.  This is generally easy entertaining.  We clean up the house, Mr. Lina makes our chili entry, people bring chili, the most I have to worry about is enough bowls and cutlery. 
• This also felt overwhelming and almost made me cry on Saturday - prior to people arriving.  I played stupid little games to keep my mind off the feeling because I knew I'd be okay once we got going.  Plants vs Zombies to the rescue.
• Our favourite 2.5 year old was rather adorable.  She liked my tickles and must have been paying attention when I was talking to her mom about our upcoming vacation to Mexico.  She told her neighbours she was going to Mexico the day after the party. 
• Bowling dance was... well, fun but kind of lame at the same time.  I had a good time because of the people I went with.
• I saw a lot of people I bowled with as a kid but I was a bit too shy for some reason to re-introduce myself to them.  Probably related to the fact my average is now 60 pins lower than it was as a teen and they are still competitive.  Makes me wonder if I'd be competing at the open if I didn't stop for those 9 years.
• I didn't have Tiramisu done but I wore a black RTW dress this is really similar to Tira (knit, cross at the bust, full skirt from a waist band, but sleeveless and has wide bands to wrap around and tie at the waist) and was totally appropriate.
• But then again, anything would have been appropriate.  One girl wore a dress that barely covered her ass (literally she could not bend down to pick up cutlery she dropped) with gold sequins, some men wore suits and some guys wore dockers and a sweater (which granted is still dressed up compared to being at the lanes).
• It was fun to cha cha and rhumba with Mr Lina.  I wish the dj was better.  We don't like being the only ones out there like we're on Dancing with the Stars, and people would go out and dance for 2-3 songs and then the dance floor would clear.  Or how about the Michael Buble 3 pack.  Love his music and I might have been able to talk Mr. Lina into a fox trot, but if no one danced for the first song, perhaps playing two more would not be a wise idea.
• We really need to get back to lessons, it's amazing how much I've forgot.  We're horribly out of practice.  I mean, it looks good, but we only did about 3-4 steps for cha-cha and 2 for rhumba.
• Just went to the ladies room and realized that my faux sweater-vest/blouse is low enough that you can see the top of my black bra above the sweater and under the white blouse part.  Sigh.  Bra-fail.
• And my apologies for any blog comments with horrible grammar and spelling.  I couldn't spell "relationship" this morning.  I wanted to put an s where the t is. 

I am the win.

Merry Christmas!

I have been actively avoiding my computer since the 21st.  I felt like I had work I should catch up on and by avoiding my computer, I was avoiding that and really having a break.  So I have a lot of catching up on blogs to do.

I am struggling lately to find a blogging voice.  I've started a few posts that seem to end up being a laudry list of what I've done and complaining.  I don't like them.  It's good for me to write it out maybe, but you don't need to read that.  So I'm switching to point form for a bit of some good and bad of the holidays thus far:

• I got to snuggle with my niece.
• Actually, I hogged her the entire time she was at my parents house on Christmas day.
• She kept staring at Mr. Lina.
• We had friends and family over for Christmas Eve, the 2.5 year old stole the show (figured she would).
• Best lines from her:
• Her dad:  O, it's time to go home now.
• O:  No. (rather emphatically while she continued to march around the basement having just watched Frosty the Snowman)
• Her dad:  We have to set out cookies for Santa before we go to bed. 
• O:  Bye bye Mr. Lina.  (runs upstairs to get coat).
• It snowed overnight, the most snow since March 2011 apparently.  It's very pretty and nice to finally feel like winter.
• And has netted me a work from home day.
• Well timed snow in that Mr. Lina gave me money for winter boots for snow shoeing and I bought him a pass to the local conservation area so we could get back into hiking and snow showing.
• Went to the 42nd anniversary party for my relative who had a stroke about 6 weeks ago now.
• He's had considerable improvement since I last saw him although he still struggles to find the words he wants.
• His daughter who is 12 days younger than me and autistic started up her usual campaign to get my childhood Strawberry Shortcake figures.
• Perhaps I would like to play with her Strawberry Shortcake dolls and she could play with mine.
• Perhaps my mom could put them in a box so she could take them home (she knows they are at my parents house).
• Perhaps my parents would have a garage sale and sell them to her.  We would tell her about it, wouldn't we?
• Toys need to be played with, do you still play with them?  I would play with them...
• She also told me my womb is still very small that I haven't had the baby yet.
• No kidding.
• She also knocked on my grandfathers head at the visitation and then told us that Uncle Alec wouldn't wake up. 
• Papa would have found that really funny. 
• I'm trying to find the humour in my womb being small.  I'm not upset with her at all, she's just speaking the truth, but I don't really like that truth.
• Did I mention my niece is adorable?
• I finally gave them the blanket I started in June, she hooked her fingers in the shell stitches and like most 5 month olds, tried to eat it.  It was rather cute.
• I bought her a tshirt that had a hat and the words "Snuggle Weather" stitched on, Mr. Lina and I use the word snuggle a lot between us (we will have conversations of nothing but the word snuggle if we're feeling sickeningly cute) so that was the draw of the shirt.
• When I got it home, I thought it was a little plain in silver stitches.  I embroidered red on the hat to perk it up.
• Probably should have taken pictures of it before wrapping it.
• I mentioned last week that the stuffed animal I made for a friend last year is her bed time companion.  Guess what they lost at Christmas?  I have been asked to make another for them so bedtime can happen without tears.
• Mr. Lina is pretty miffed with Canada Post.  On the weekend he started the soft sell that one of my presents may not be arriving in time for Christmas.  Monday he was happy to say that tracking said it was on it's way, all would be fine.  I checked the mail box (I was waiting for the conservation area pass to arrive) and the parcel pick up sheet was in the box.  They didn't even come to the door, we were home. 
• He's off right now picking it up.
• Oh, and now he's at the door!

Crazy Time

The end of year, end of time with one client and the upcoming holidays have made a shade crazy for me.  The few times I am home, I don't really have the umph to do much.  I am taking a sanity break between projects to say hello so you know I'm still alive.

• I finally finished that blanket for my neice, started in June, born in August, done in December. 
• I don't think I'm winning any aunt awards with that one.
• I still have to take pictures of it.
• I have made headway on Burda 118.
• I took in a lot more, went down to see what Mr. Lina thought and his first comment was that it looked like a sack.
• By that time I had stitching in the seam allowance from about 3-4 times of taking it in so I unpicked all of that, put in a clean row of stitching, cut some off and refinished the seam allowance (this stuff frays a lot).
• Now it looks less sack like but still lacks sleeves.
• Sleeves have been sewn, but are separate from the dress.
• We went to socialize with R's parents on Saturday and his sister dropped off her daughter for babysitting.  Last January I gave her a stuffed animal I made and it was well received at the party but you never know if people are just being nice.
• It seems she won't fall asleep without that particular stuffy, the only one she's named.
• I felt kind of good about that. 

I don't think it was this specific one, but similar.

Okay, back to work.  On the plus side, I only have to work the 27-28 between December 22 to January 2nd.  This craziness will end.

Loves

I am so tired today.  We had our team Christmas party last night and although it wasn't a late night, it was past midnight by the time I got home.  When the alarm went off this morning, my eyes hurt because I needed more sleep.  I think I hit snooze 4 times. 

That said, I am in a good mood.  Here are some things that make me happy today.

• Tiramisu arrived!  It was wonderful to see the package on the dining room table and know what was inside.
• It is Friday, that is enough to make me happy.
• My drive to work was awesome, 38 minutes from driveway to parking lot is a record for this client.
• We have no plans tonight, I can have a glass of wine and relax.
• We have no plans on Sunday, I think we'll spend part of the day getting our Christmas tree.
• Yesterday, someone noticed me babbling a bit and asked if I had coffee.  I mentioned this to Mr. Lina this morning.  He lamented that I've become a little more adjusted to caffeine and rarely sound like a little kid explaining a day at an amusement park to her grandparents.  It made me giggle when he mimicked the little kid (including puking after too much funnel cake and rides).  It's not often I'm laughing that early when I feel so tired.
• I've signed up for Rdio and am now listening to music at work.
• I love Jamiroquai.  I know it, but sometimes I get listening to a lot of folk/independent music and time passes without listening to Jamiroquai and when I listen again, it's like falling in love all over again.  I almost caught myself singing along yesterday (not a wise choice in cubicle-ville), I love how it makes me feel.

So here is a little Jamiroquai, hopefully it cheers up your Friday as it has for me.  Cosmic Girl is my favourite song.  In an interview, Jay Kay talked about this particular video.  They were still working on ideas for the video and the girl he was dating at the time was asking who his "Cosmic Girl" was going to be, kind of hinting it should be her.  To side step that, he made it about his car (he is a petrol head as they say on Top Gear).  The purple Lamborghini is his own car, the crew crashed it once loading it from his home to take it to the location in Spain.  They bought another (keep in mind, only 3 were made like this particular car), it was also damaged with precision drivers.  In parts of the video, there is no front windshield to the car.
 

What a week

I've been pretty quiet here.  Tuesday I had a migraine and after that I've just been either too busy or too tired to think.  So here are the highlights...

• Attended another film festival, The Blood in the Snow festival in Toronto
• It was good, The Projection Room on Gerrard is a great space for a festival
• The movies I saw were well done although not all were my taste.
• At least I'm not frustrated with them like last week, I don't mind movies clearly done on a budget but I can't deal with stories that don't make sense.
• Craft show season is wrapping up for Mom and it shows, she's tired.
• Hell, I'm tired and I didn't sew all the stuff we've been selling.
• Still lining things up for the next FET but I'm not in a rush now that I have figured out timing, Humira adds a lot of time to the pre-transfer time.
• Soonest the transfer could be at this point is early February, friends are planning a group trip somewhere warm in late February.
• I may as well put off the FET to March and drink my fair share on a beach somewhere rather than rushing it and worrying about things going wrong in Mexico or Cuba.
• My girlfriends from university had their Christmas get together yesterday
• It was fun, but again, I kind of had to take a few big breaths to squish down the discomfort before opening the door.
• And today I'm overtired and broke my rule of no crying while driving on 400 series highways. 
• And it's not like my friends have it easy.
• One husband has just been declared in remission from testicular cancer (YAY!)
• One son was diagnosed with cancer at 6 months, he's 7 now but still not completely in the clear and seems to end up with things like gallstones or kidney stones when his cancer is doing well so she spends a lot of time in various hospitals.
• One friend had to go through IVF for her son and based on that experience, they won't have more kids (biologically at least).
• Two have had multiple miscarriages after having their first child.
• Still, I can't help but feel sad to see 12 kids at a party and none of them are mine.
• It also showed me how much I've stopped talking to them when no one knew just how many pregnancies I've had.
• Work is well, crazy just about sums it up.  I'll be happy when January is here from that perspective.
• On the plus side, I started drafting up my performance review today and it's going to be okay.
• I have barely had the energy to read blogs never mind sew.  Progress is slow on my Burda dress, that doesn't mean I'm not interested or frustrated, I'm just tired enough to make mistakes.

I'm going to hop in the bath and go to bed early.  Hopefully that will make tomorrow less painful.

Ramblings

I have a lot of things swirling around at the moment, it's time for a list.

• I had a new roller coaster dream last night, but on the plus side
• I did not wake up
• I did not sleep walk
• I was not stressed out in the dream
• We were using the speed of the roller coasters as wind while having my picture taken, weird I know. 
• Particularly when it became apparent it was kind of a log ride so there was water involved.
• My mom's cousin's husband had a stroke on Sunday and I came into work to read an email about it.  He means a lot to me so it took a bit to swallow that news.  I get the impression that although they know there will be weeks of therapy, they are still in the midst of testing so not a lot of firm answers at this point.
• I like dark beers because of him.  I helped him with the statistics for his PhD.  As payment, we would go for a late lunch and we split a pitcher on an empty stomach.  I was usually pretty tipsy before my lunch arrived.
• Sonohystogram is going to have to be postponed, my period has arrived.  76 day cycle and it picks 4 days before my sono to come to an end.  If it started Monday that would have been perfect, but no, now I have to change it to sometime next week, I think they aim for day 6-11. 
• Overall though, it's good to have it here, my breasts can return to normal and we'll blame my eye leakiness today on hormones.
• And if I don't have to go for the sono on Saturday, I can either help Mom with the craft show or help my mom's cousin. 
• Hospitals take care of sick people, there isn't much I can do outside of visit (and I gather he is tired so visits may be too much just now).  But the immediate family (typically) need help so they can do what the sick person needs.  In this case, their daughter is the same age as me and she is autistic and dependent on them. 
• So this cousin of mine, let's call her Beth. She's awesome, we have a good bond.  We even have a not so secret pass phrase (which comes in handy when she needs to regulate and settle down).  I've offered some respite time so the wife can do what she needs to do without wondering what mischief the daughter is getting into. 
•  Beth memorizes movies and quotes them back, using their dialogue for her conversation.  If you watch movies with her, she pulls out props ahead of the dialogue, "You dirty rat" will result in a plastic rat appearing out of a toy box.  It helps to know the movies she has seen recently to get her context.
• For example, my pass phrase is "Yes, no, I don't know.  If that isn't a true blue miracle, I don't know what one is".
• Not everyone has a pass phrase and those who do have a phrase of their own.
• Now the first half is said in a silly sing-song voice with side to side head actions.  If she says that, I have to say the rest, and vice versa.  It's like proof that I am me.
• The second half is from the 1978 Christmas Eve on Sesame Street special.
• She also loves my Strawberry Shortcake dolls and is generally trying to manipulate them out of me.
• Perhaps you could have a garage sale and sell your old toys.  You would tell me when you have a garage sale wouldn't you?
• Do you play with your dolls, Sera?  No?  Toys need to be played with.  I would play with them.
• Every single visit to my parents she finds them.  I don't even know where my parents put them last but somehow Beth does.  Then we have to check that they didn't "disappear" into a pocket...
• I have taken a few more steps with the Burda dress, but last night was bowling so not as much as you would think, the back is joined and it has a zipper.
• I really did a good job on the invisible zipper part.
• The spot below the zipper, well, the seam ripper and I got to be good friends. 
• Stellar Parenting made me leaky.  I love her posts to her daughter.  I must remember the line "You were worth the wait" when I feel impatient.  One day I will feel like that.

Okay, I'm feeling a little more sorted out now.  Thanks for following along.

Friday Ramblings

Time to sit down with some caffeine of some sort and put a few thoughts together...

• Went to get that warm beverage and got swarmed with people.  Apparently my day is full of work now.
• Running is going okay.  Mr. Lina has a faster gait than me which leaves me either pushing too hard or him wondering where I went.
• We're going to get new shoes for me tonight because I don't think mine are doing me any favours.  They never really felt right for my feet.
• Mr. Lina is doing quite well with the weight loss competition.  The people who are starving themselves are not losing weight anymore (surprise, surprise) and he is losing about 2-3lbs a week.  He's not in the lead but he's feeling good about it and that's important to me.
• We had a guest with us this week.  A friend of the musician we'll be hosting next week was taking an art class in the area.  She was awesome and a good guest.
• I spent a little time in my sewing room on Wednesday tidying it up.  I need a little more elbow room for it to be a productive space again.
• I was showing our guest some fabric and the Sewaholic Alma and Cambie patterns, I think the two pieces of fabric I bought in Montreal will work for each pattern.
• A-line Cambie in big black polka dots with a cream background?  The fabric is too heavy for all the gathering of the full skirt but I think it will be great in the A-line version.
• With a black shirt underneath and black tights it would wear in winter well.
• This weekend is about filming.  Tonight is set up and prep for filming tomorrow.
• I'm in charge of "craft services" aka food for about 10 people.
• I keep hearing it like "Kraft services" like all the food should be Cheeze Whiz, bbq sauce and Miracle Whip.
• Hmm, I can't eat any of those products as they all contain mustard.  We'll have to stick to Jello, Philadelphia cream cheese and Kraft peanut butter.  ;)
• I'm going to take my crochet with me this time so I can be quiet and productive.
• Dinner (roast chicken) is going into a slow cooker so it can cook quietly too.
• Hopefully they get it all done on Saturday.  After having a guest from Monday evening until this morning and sleeping over for filming tonight, I want to be home alone for a while on Sunday.  I need some snuggle time with Mr. Lina.
• I hate 9am meetings.
• I generally get to work somewhere between 8:50 and 9:20.  My employer is not too fussed as long as I arrive before 9:30 and get my work done.
• Somehow, knowing I need to be there for 9 makes it that much harder to get there for 9.
• Looks like I'm going to be doing some training in late October.  3 hours with a client that is not one of my regulars.  I'm looking forward to it.
• I think I'd rather talk about what I do than do it.

Okay, speaking of work, time to actually do it.  Have a great weekend, folks.  What are you up to?

Triple TGIF

Why a Triple TGIF?

One is for it being an early close day.
Two is for it being a long weekend.
Three is for my birthday on Sunday.

I'm tired, it's time for a list...

• Ragweed season has firmly hit me.
• My sinuses are somewhat under control but I would like my ears to stop being itchy.
• Oh and that palate itchiness?  Yeah, that can go away too.
• A card must be going around my office.  I'm at my client site and I'm getting birthday emails from people I'm not friends with outside of work, how do they know?
• I like birthdays.
• Well, maybe not the number associated with it specifically, but that's more of a biological clock thing than a "oh no I'm getting older" thing.
• Really, would I want to not experience any of the years I have?  Then why would I wish them away by lying?
• I brought new meaning to labour day weekend for my mom in 1975.
• Isn't it lovely that many of you have a long weekend to celebrate with me?
• I have done good work this week.
• You may have noticed a reduction in commenting on blogs, I blame work.
• And house cleaning.
• I only really clean for company, a lack of house concerts and visitors has lead to a whole lot of clutter over the summer.
• A Manitoban friend will be visiting over the weekend (although staying with someone else).
• I hope I like his new girlfriend.
• Some people have very bad radar when it comes to picking a partner.
• This makes me suspicious and protective if I feel the slightest red flag go off.
• We're going to wineries tomorrow, lunch in Jordan by Cave Springs, probably hit Angel's Gate, maybe Fielding, Flat Rock, perhaps Megalomaniac, Organized Crime...
• Much as I love Chateau des Charmes, Palatine (which we often refer to as Palpatine from Star Wars) and Sunnybrook, I'm kind of suspecting that our money will be spent before we get to Niagara on the Lake.
• And we're all coming back to my house after.
• 2 drivers and roughly 6 very happy adults.
• I think I better stock up on some wine absorbing snacks.
• Is it sad that my plan for an early close day is grocery shopping?
• Whatever, it's not work.
• My body has a sense of humour.
• So one day of spotting (July 27) since the last FET cycle ended in early June.
• Yesterday, my uterus decided it was time to rejoin the land of women.
• Because I just love cramps as a birthday present.
• The happiness I feel for Day 1 ends the minute the cramps start.
• I think they are making up for lost time.
• I should buy some Advil stock.
• I wonder if the Advil folks make Arius, my favourite antihistamine.
• That would double the reason to invest.
• Samantha Martin did a house concert with us last June and is entered in a television contest on CMT "Big in a Small Town"
• She's got a crazy powerful voice (see below), a lovely, bubbly personality, and if you agree with me, you can vote for her on the link above.

Okay, time to do some work so I CAN leave early.  Take it Sam...

One Year

It has been a full year now that I have been blogging.  Strange how it feels like it's still kind of new but I feel such attachment to you all.  It helps that I was reading long before I was blogging.  It's Friday, I'm still stressed about that project and I've had a dark chocolate hot chocolate/espresso whatever on a poor nights sleep.  Earlier this week I thought about writing up an aniversary post.  It is also Falling Through Your Clothes blogoversary and her post this morning was a reminder that I did not.  She was much more organized in her annual review.

So it's random thought time...

• I usually hate markers of time, but this one feels pretty damn cool.
• I've managed to keep my mouth shut about the blog, I wasn't sure I'd be good at that.
• I seem to average about 15-20 posts a month. The pace feels right for me. I don't know how people write every day.

Sewing thoughts...

• Best thing I've made this year, probably the purple bra, Elan 645.  It was certainly the most worn.
• I really do miss my Elan bra since the strap broke.  I should find a way to fix that.
• Favourite pattern, oh Renfrew likely, I did make 4 of them and I wear them all the time.
• I was going to make a collage but that didn't go so well. 
• Next year I'll plan ahead.
• Some new non-sewing skills like crochet and embroidery.
• Although I have not made pants (yet), I did enjoy the process of the pants blocker and the pj's I made from that are my favourites.  They are quickly circled through the laundry rotation.
• It doesn't feel like I've sewn an awful lot over the past year, but what I wear to work usually has something me-made so I must be doing something right.

Non-sewing thoughts...

• This blog has helped my mental health.
• I don't feel I write for others, it's quite theraputic to just put words down and sort thoughts out.
• Still, your support has been felt over and over and over.
• Thank you.

And last non-anniversary thoughts...

• It is Summerfolk, can't wait to see Coco Love Alcorn, JD Edwards, The Crooked Brothers, Jory Nash, Suzie Vinnick, etc, etc, etc...
• End of the workday cannot arrive too soon.
• Time with my niece went well last night. 
• I still haven't cried about it so I take that as a win.
• Mom is not crazy, she does look like my baby picture when she's sleeping.

• Crazy girl is doing a lot she shouldn't for being two weeks old. 
• We were lying down on the couch (above) to watch her do baby push ups, she has exceptional neck control.
• Apparently she's rolled over from her tummy to her back once.
• She's outgrown newborn clothing already (she got a bit of a head start being 9lbs at birth).
• She liked Mr. Lina a lot. 
• We're going for another visit on Monday after Summerfolk.

The downside to training

Apparently in my haste yesterday, I did a crappy proof reading job, I've made minor tweaks...

Sometimes, it's just faster to do it yourself. 

I am a shade frustrated with that.

I need to remind myself he won't learn if I do it.


Even if it would be faster.

This project is beyond his skills to be as independent as my manager thinks he should be with it.

Did I mention it's due tomorrow?

Guess who I'm going to do see tonight?

I am going to hold a baby.

Maybe that will make this project disappear.

I'm sure it will feel good while I've got the baby.

I am not so sure it's going to feel good when I leave the baby behind.

I should have put this in bullet points from the outset, shouldn't I?

My mom is convinced my half Vietnamese niece looks like me. 

Really? 

I suspect she is saying that to make me show up and see for myself.

At least she'll have better ears if they are like mine rather than my brothers. 

Clone could give Prince Charles a good run for his money.

And I freaking missed the employee store in my efforts to work on that stupid project. 

Damn it.

I could use some chocolate too.

Clearly.

At least traffic will be lighter going home...

I am an aunt

And I'm still not sure how I feel about that.

My SIL had the baby girl at 4:30 this morning.  Everyone is happy and healthy, the baby is 9lbs and I haven't figured out a nick name for her yet so she'll just be my niece for now.  Clone did come back home to be here for the birth but he has to head back to the NWT on Sunday.  I gather my SIL and niece will be here until the end of August and her dad is going to go back with them when the time comes.

My mom phoned just before I left for work with the news.  I just felt numb but happy to hear it all went well and my brother was here for the birth.  I had been told that she was in very early labour yesterday, she went in to be induced but she was already 3cm dilated.  So I wasn't surprised by the call.

My drive to work was good but I don't remember any of it, I forgot my pass at home, the meter in the parking lot didn't like my corporate card so now I'll have to expense it myself.  It was later than usual by the time I got to my desk.

And then I opened my email to see pictures of the three of them and started crying.  Not a lot of crying, but I couldn't hold them in.

I don't want to be an aunt.

I want to be a mom.

Mr. Lina and I both have colds (mine is in my chest, lots of coughing but I don't feel as bad as I did earlier in the week) so we'll have to hold back on visiting in person.  It's too bad because I'll probably feel better about the baby than I do about the pictures.  Look at that, I went back to calling her "the baby" not my niece.  Apparently I am not ready for attachment.

File this under rambly sorting out my thoughts post.  I'm sure they will be changing by the day if not the hour.

Fridays Rock

I love Fridays.  The whole weekend is just potential to look forward to.  I do have to work but the pace is different, people are happier.  My drive in the morning is often better (although home is a bit of a crap shoot).  The only ones around me who are really stressed it's because they "flexed" their hours working more earlier in the week and they are hoping to leave early.  We're off to a cottage with 5 friends on Lake Huron tonight until Sunday morning.  It's motivation to get stuff done myself.  But I have a few thoughts to sort out and document first...

I believe it is Day 1 for me.  If this moves past spotting, that's a 50 day cycle.  That probably sounds ridiculous to many of you but it's actually not too bad for me.  Given that it's my first cycle after Pregnancy #7, I figured I wouldn't ovulate and it would take a little time.  50 days is not bad.  It's interesting that it's another 49 days until we see Dr. M again.  So odds are it's going to be a two cycle wait for the next FET.

Mr. Lina was in for a physical yesterday.  He tends to have high blood pressure (mine is generally low), but it was really high yesterday.  Like, "I'd like to see you again in September" kind of high.  It's been this high before, we got it down to the high side of normal, at least low enough that he didn't need medication and the monthly visits to our family doctor stopped.  I guess for me it's a reminder that I'm not the only one who is impacted by all the uncertainty. 

On the plus side, it will give me a reason beyond myself to pay attention to our diet.  I don't cook with added salt, with my food allergies I don't use a lot of pre-made foods, when I am interested in making dinner it's healthy stuff that would fit into the DASH diet.  The thing is, I often don't care or don't make time.  Mr. Lina has to take responsibility for his dietary changes as I do not make his lunch nor breakfast and even dinner there are usually one or two nights a week where one of us is not home or we're eating on the go (perhaps a vendor dog prior to seeing Lyle Lovett last night was not the best choice...).  Still, I have not been good at buying groceries every week, this is a good reason to pick up more fruits and veggies that Mr. Lina likes and push them in his general direction. 

On our drive into Toronto last night, we were talking about his doctors appointment and all the things they talked about.  (Side note, I love our family doctor.  He genuinely cares.  He looks for the big picture of health and asks about everything from work to the state of our marriage during a physical, health is a two way conversation.)  Mr. Lina was expressing much of the same things that I have in my blog.  After that miscarriage (#6), neither of us really cared about ourselves.  Why should I make the effort to take care of my own body?  It's not helping me out, it keeps rejecting all the babies I try to have.  It's interesting that he stopped caring about himself even though it's not his body doing the work with respect to baby making.

Part of this chapter in time needs to be about the two of us focusing on us, as a team.  Maybe I don't always care about taking care of me, but I do want to take care of him.  Maybe if we both believe we're doing something right for the other person we'll find the motivation to help ourselves along the way.

Short Series of Time

This directionless restless feeling is still there but I think I'm getting through it.  If you think of life as a series of short stages, I think when I look back I'll see the vacation as the start of a new chunk of time.  This is going to be a bit rambly, but there is a point.  So what has been going on?

• We went to see my doctor for our review appointment for pregnancy #7 (I still don't like the M word).  I found myself reassuring him.  He has done what he sees as the best options for us over and over and we still are not successful.  His frustration is abundantly apparent.  So I found myself using my own lines to him, that it's okay, this is just the path we're on and I still trust him.  He can't be in my uterus making it happen, his best is good enough for me.  In talking to my manager about this yesterday, I really felt the truth of that.  Infertility is just part of who I am now, like my weird food allergies and the fact that I'm short, all of these experiences are making me into who I will be and I accept that aspect of it.  He is going to a conference in early September, immunological issues in fertility is part of that so he wants to see us Sept 14th prior to starting on our last cycle (and I did say I'm done after that) in case something new comes out of it. 
• Initially, I didn't like this, I don't want more time to waste away.  Mr. Lina was the one to specifically ask if we should wait, but as I think about it, it is a good thing.  Summer can go on as planned, my period still has not appeared and I'm not really sure what to count as Day 1 after all the prometrium to put off bleeding.  June 3rd?  June 8th?  Either way, we're at about 35-40 days now for this cycle which is not unusual for me but I have a feeling this is going to be a long annovulatory cycle.  Sept 14th is 53 days away.  It would be missing one cycle, maybe two if I ovulate next cycle and it's short (for me).  It doesn't sound so long looking at it that way. 
• I think the clutter is really paralyzing me from doing things at home.  I like a little clutter, but it is an overwhelming amount of crap we've let accumulate around the house.  This is what happens when we don't entertain, there isn't someone else to clean up for.
• Mr. Lina is in movie mode.  They will be filming another short film in August so there are many meetings and planning sessions going on.  The Post-Lifers has got into a few more film festivals.  Mississauga International Film Festival will be hosting them on July 29th so we'll be going to that.  Finally something that is somewhat local for our friends and family.
• Weight.  I did not put on as much weight as I often do in Manitoba (I have nicknamed it "the land of a pound a day" for a reason), but about 4 pounds did return with me and I wasn't happy with the number on the scale prior to Manitoba.  They need to come off before they become permanent. 
• On the job front for Mr. Lina, things are still unsettled but he seems less sad about it.  Just in case he is laid off, he brought home his personal books and things.  His manager (a friend prior to working together) has found another job so it's one less person to worry about.  Mr. Lina found out that someone senior was asked for input on essential staff and Mr. Lina was included as essential, so assuming they listen to him things should be okay.  As mentioned, it is less the financial side of a possible layoff, it's the sadness of leaving a place he wants to work at and uncertainty that is causing problems at the moment. 
• I was happy at work yesterday.  That sounds so simple, but it's been such a struggle to feel that way.  I had things to do but not so much that I was overwhelmed.  I had people asking my opinion about their projects and asking for help to learn software that is new to them.  I left on time.  It was a good day.
• I have made a little progress on the blanket I'm crocheting, I think I have about 10-14 rows left.  So far, I'm happy enough to give it as a gift  I also worked up the courage to ask my mom if Clone and my SIL know the gender of the baby and it seems like it might be a girl but they aren't sure.  So I guess I'll be sticking to neutral colours.  Makes sense for a first baby anyhow.  I have to purchase the yarn for the boarder unless I just do it all mint green.  The boarder is in two pieces, a bit of double crochet and then a ruffly shell, so I could do the double crochet in white or yellow to break it up and then the ruffly bit in the same mint green. 
• I had all day Sunday and last night to myself.  I did not sew, I thought about sewing.  I went in my sewing room, and every time I walked back out.  I don't know why really, but it just wasn't where I wanted to be.

This doesn't seem related to my thoughts on short series, but it is.  From now until (at the earliest) September, I won't be doing infertility treatments.  No additional appointments or medication outside of the usual metformin, baby aspirin and prenatal vitamins.  Mr. Lina is making mental headway on adoption so even on that front, I'm feeling pretty good.  As much as pregnancy #7 did not end the way we wanted it to, I'm okay with it and I feel mentally better (not perfect, just better) than I did in the fall or winter.  If I think of it as wasted time, I will end up sliding back. 

I think I need to figure out what this short span of time IS going to be about and own that.  There are things planned - going to a friends cottage, the movie shoot, Summerfolk, my birthday, guests from Manitoba, becoming an aunt, house concerts start up again in September....  no lack of things going on, but it still comes down to me seeing it as time well spent.