Things are improving somewhat since Monday. Deciding that it wasn't just a headache that all the signs of being fuzzy headed and feeling sensitive to noise probably indicated a migraine. Somehow this made me feel okay about feeling crappy. So I took Wednesday off work and while I'm still feeling a little stressed, and yesterday I was still a little fuzzy around the edges, it's not as bad as it was.
Clothing for my vacation is packed.
Work is still crazy but will be ending for a week by the end of the day.
I have ticked off enough on my to-do list to feel somewhat better.
I have actually opened (most) of my email.
Did I mention I'm packed?
So what should I do on Saturday... No need to pack, can't be bothered to clean up the house. Haven't bought groceries so there isn't much in the fridge to toss out.
I think I will go shopping.
Let's see, non-work people, walking outside, retail therapy, and the opportunity to take some fabric for trade. What a great start to a vacation.
The meet up is finishing near The Cameron House, where Corin Raymond is playing from 6-8. We've hosted Corin both for his solo work and as the Undesirables, I've written about him a couple of times. Corin is paying for part of the production of the album Paper Nickles with Canadian Tire money and I have another $1.15 to drop off. He's only $500 from his goal, it's absolutely crazy how much he has amassed. I don't know that I'll stay right to 8 (my flight is at 6:15am, I think I'm going to have to get up at 3am) but it's pay what you can and worth what you can afford.
The feelings of overwhelmed are strong in this one...
Time for a list.
I've found the cure for infertility, apparently it's me. Another friend who talked to me about her fertility issues is now pregnant, she's been seeing my doctor for maybe 5 months. I think I'm 5 for 5 now.
I haven't told Mr. Lina, I have come close but I can't actually say the words.
I have too much going on at work, it's overwhelming.
Yesterday was a stat holiday in Ontario, I knew I should do some work to make today easier and I just couldn't force myself to do it.
I don't even want to open my email now.
Last night I woke up quite a few times, it was not a restful night at all.
Too hot
Bad dream - I was driving and saw in my rearview that I was going to be hit from behind, I turned the car a little so it wasn't too hard a bump and the driver drove off, I wasn't hurt nor was my passenger, but I woke up stressing about where to get the car fixed, would insurance pay for it, should I wait for the police or drive to a collision reporting centre.... You'd think it would be the bump from the car that would wake me up, but no, I have more mundane things to worry about.
Headache, strange since I sleep through migraines and typically think of sleep as a solution to headaches, but it was bad enough to require Advil to fall back asleep.
Mr. Lina said I was snoring, not something I do typically.
I think the 35 sizing for Tiramisu will work better, but it's still kind of funky and I couldn't think through it. Turned on the lights, sewed one temporary seam, tried it on and walked away from my sewing room.
Sunday we hosted a chili cook off. This is generally easy entertaining. We clean up the house, Mr. Lina makes our chili entry, people bring chili, the most I have to worry about is enough bowls and cutlery.
This also felt overwhelming and almost made me cry on Saturday - prior to people arriving. I played stupid little games to keep my mind off the feeling because I knew I'd be okay once we got going. Plants vs Zombies to the rescue.
Our favourite 2.5 year old was rather adorable. She liked my tickles and must have been paying attention when I was talking to her mom about our upcoming vacation to Mexico. She told her neighbours she was going to Mexico the day after the party.
Bowling dance was... well, fun but kind of lame at the same time. I had a good time because of the people I went with.
I saw a lot of people I bowled with as a kid but I was a bit too shy for some reason to re-introduce myself to them. Probably related to the fact my average is now 60 pins lower than it was as a teen and they are still competitive. Makes me wonder if I'd be competing at the open if I didn't stop for those 9 years.
I didn't have Tiramisu done but I wore a black RTW dress this is really similar to Tira (knit, cross at the bust, full skirt from a waist band, but sleeveless and has wide bands to wrap around and tie at the waist) and was totally appropriate.
But then again, anything would have been appropriate. One girl wore a dress that barely covered her ass (literally she could not bend down to pick up cutlery she dropped) with gold sequins, some men wore suits and some guys wore dockers and a sweater (which granted is still dressed up compared to being at the lanes).
It was fun to cha cha and rhumba with Mr Lina. I wish the dj was better. We don't like being the only ones out there like we're on Dancing with the Stars, and people would go out and dance for 2-3 songs and then the dance floor would clear. Or how about the Michael Buble 3 pack. Love his music and I might have been able to talk Mr. Lina into a fox trot, but if no one danced for the first song, perhaps playing two more would not be a wise idea.
We really need to get back to lessons, it's amazing how much I've forgot. We're horribly out of practice. I mean, it looks good, but we only did about 3-4 steps for cha-cha and 2 for rhumba.
Just went to the ladies room and realized that my faux sweater-vest/blouse is low enough that you can see the top of my black bra above the sweater and under the white blouse part. Sigh. Bra-fail.
And my apologies for any blog comments with horrible grammar and spelling. I couldn't spell "relationship" this morning. I wanted to put an s where the t is.
There is an awful lot of research out there on the differences between how we perceive ourselves and what we actually look like. I am no expert but I think I'm going through one of those phases where I am not connected to what I look like.
This is how Mr. Lina sees me. Happy, cute, glowing. I have pictures that are both flattering and not so flattering that he would list as his favourites because they are what he loves about me.
All pictures were taken by Mr. Lina with the good camera and house concert lighting.
I like my body, really I do. I feel more comfortable with it a little lighter than my present weight but I don't think of someone who has huge body issues. I love my rather ample bust, I love my legs. I just like my pants to do up too. The extra few pounds are messing with my head.
Sunday night I traced out/cut out (depending on the piece) Tiramisu. I laid down my red ponte knit and started cutting. The Cake sizing system is unique, I had to take some measurements to figure out sizing. After an afternoon of gaming (as in 4 hours of snacking on chips, bean dip and raw broccoli and cauliflower), my waist was 37", a bit larger than usual. But I want a dress that fits me now, not what I want to be so I was going to aim a little short of the 37.5 waist sizing and use the narrower width (and skirt length) of the 35 sizing as I am short. There isn't a whole lot of space between my bust and hips. My high bust is usually around 38/39, but when remeasuring I realized it was higher when my arms were down. Added to this, my full bust in a good bra is between 44" and 45", the concept of the 35 even with the D sizing working out had me afraid it would be too small.
I didn't need to worry.
We could fit another grapefruit or two in there quite comfortably. Let's see that from the side...
He was so focused on lighting, he didn't look at my eyes.
So my thoughts...
The band is too big, it's suppose to have 0 ease.
The band is too low, looking at other peoples dresses that should be higher
I've gathered too far to the side, there is bunching by my arm pit.
On the plus side, it's still not gaping when I lean forward (although it will sometimes if I'm standing up because I am not filling it).
I pretty much did the same thing with Burda 118A (which I'm not giving up on, it's just on hiatus). I was so worried about grading that up I ended up taking inches off each side so it wouldn't look like a sack. There is something going on between the measuring tape I can read and the final product and that would be my brain. I think it works like this.
I know I am not a tooth pick of a woman, I do not have the genetics to be a size 2 and I'm honestly happy with that. I love having curves (those stick figures are smiling, although the lack of breasts is more of a function of my drawing abilities with a mouse). But I wish they didn't get blown out of proportion in my head.
So, next steps. I won't be sewing until Wednesday night, that gives me time to think. I believe I need to:
Take the band off
Trim the band down
Torn about lifting from the shoulders as I rather like the seams but I think the v needs to be lifted
Cutting off from the bottom
Cutting off from the sides?
Sliding the cross over because I'm cutting off the bottom
That's a whole lot of cutting and I'm a bit concerned about taking off fabric from the right places and not distorting the whole bodice. I'm going to have to look at the 35 pattern piece to see the difference in grading so I cut from the right spots.
I was having a hell of a lot of fun last night. If I can fix this, I'm going to love this dress. If not, I have other fabrics to try the 35 and I might have enough of this fabric to recut the bodice for this dress if need be. I have enjoyed the process of making it.
Oh, and did I mention I'll be going to Germany in March? The Post Lifers got into a film festival in Landshut, northeast of Munich.
This is the view from my front door. You can see my neighbours foot prints in the snow, I haven't ventured out to shovel yet as it's still falling.
This is by no means a crazy amount of snow. The flakes are actually pretty small but they say it's falling at 3cm (a little more than an inch) per hour. It's enough to keep us home instead of risking life and car on the roads. It will all be over later today and not impact our house concert tomorrow. Hopefully we can get out on snow shoes on Sunday because Monday it's going to rain and the snow will disappear. Again.
I mentioned that I transplanted my aloe plant and scratched my hands and forearms up nicely in the process. While I had the camera out, I thought I'd take a picture. Here's hoping I didn't kill it in the move, it's been a week and it seems fairly happy.
Try hugging that.
I also mentioned that we're going to a Central Ontario bowling fundraiser. I haven't been to this event in the past, we've often had other plans. I haven't been to a dance in ages, I have no idea what the dress code would be like. I mean, it's bowling. Our dress code is generally jeans and lower. At some tournaments they might require a collar, dress pants for a national competition, but that's about the extent of it. I put a few inquiries and found out someone actually wears a tux to this event. I swear I've never seen him wearing a shirt without a wolf printed on it. Now he was given to me as an example of the extreme (and considered over dressed), but it does show that there are many levels of dressing up and if dressing up is vaguely appropriate, then I don't want to wear jeans. But... so many of my dresses are either for work and feel too professional or summer weights, or I dunno, like the tux, a little too fancy. It does have me thinking that Tiramisu in red ponte might strike the right tone (I have purple and black fabrics in the stash too, but red has been catching my eye). I keep picturing it looking like Tanit-Isis in her New Years dress. Wouldn't that full skirt look fun moving around while dancing a cha-cha? Food for thought with a deadline of next Friday. Nothing like a real deadline to make me do something (mental deadlines do not work, I can't trick myself).
Thank you all so much for the comments on the last post. I think writing that out was good for me, things have definitely improved. I did take suggestions to heart and made sure to take my vitamins and stand at the window when the sun came out. Some of it was just putting my foot forward on smaller projects to get the ball rolling. I am still having some foggy brained moments, but it's not as bad as last week.
We didn't have much planned for the weekend, just dinner at a friends house on Saturday, 4 couples and a child. Mr. Lina is clearly still popular with the 2.5 year old crowd. As much as she was asking where I was, it was Mr. Lina who needed to read her books and fix the play oven when the rack wasn't going in easily.
This did lead to some baby-sad moments on Sunday. Mr. Lina was equating time with our favourite 2.5 year old like drugs. You feel this great high at the time. The good feelings carry over for a while when you think of how good it felt to have them singling you out as someone special or snuggling close. And then you realize that it is gone. She's gone home and it's going to be a while before you can get that feeling back. It's why I don't go to baby showers and I'm hesitant around babies. It feels awesome at the time but sometimes the crash isn't worth the high. I think there will be another crash when Ripley's Kittens are adopted in the next couple of weeks. Most of them are over 2lbs now, it won't be long before they all meet the 2 months and 2lbs for being adopted. Those kittens have provided some very happy distractions for both of us.
One of the great things about this weekend was my use of time, a balance of relaxing and productive. I slept when I was tired, watched old movies and crocheted, transplanted my aloe into a larger (and heavier) pot (Note to Self, next time I move that aloe plant I should wrap it in a towel, my forearms and hands look like I tried to bathe a cat). It started as a 10" pot from Home Depot, it's now 7 plants and about hip high on me in the new larger pot. As happy as it seemed being pot bound in it's second plastic pot, it was pretty tippy hence the move away from plastic pots. I did loads and loads of laundry, I think I washed every towel in the house.
Stash fabric from Jan/12, rayon on the left, ponte (Tira?) on the right
It was a bit of a 3 Hours Past weekend as I made my own laundry detergent, watched Sabrina and pulled out the pattern pieces for Tiramisu and a few knit fabrics (red ponte above maybe?). I did a little tidying in my sewing room, no firm decision making or sewing, but I refolded a few fabrics (including those pictured above and below, that navy modal is soooo soft) pulled out a few patterns, put a few things away. I also went through my bra findings to figure out what I have and what I need (stretch needles!). I won't say it was a hugely productive weekend, but I puttered. I thought. I took care of quite a few small projects I had been ignoring. It felt good.
Soft modal
With my parents in Florida, it's a good time for online shopping and have it shipped to them. I found a great card fabric for Mom's luggage tags. I emailed to ask if she would like that as I would find something for myself and order them together. Amusing thing is she wanted that and 3 other fabrics as well, her bill came to more than mine and qualified us for free shipping. I have ordered 2 pieces of fabric that I think will work for Alma. They are stretch wovens (mostly cotton), Alma doesn't require stretch but 10% stretch might work well for my first go at the pattern. If the bust adjustments aren't perfect the stretch will be more forgiving and being cotton they will be at least 3 season wear. We will see what they actually look like in March when my parents return. I still find shopping for fabric online strange, I miss the tactile sensations.
There is a lot coming up, February is a busy month. This Saturday we're hosting Richie Newton and Rosie Stearns (video below). We're trying to do a head count on attendance, it's a bit frustrating to have so many maybes. We might have 11, we might have 23 (I'm hoping for 23 myself). But that's true with every show, I should know that by now. We have Valentines Day to plan for (more on that later). There is a bowling fundraising dance on the 15th, our annual chili cook off on the 17th, off to Mexico on the 24th... lots to look forward to this month.
