I took my second Humira dose today. It's weird how the medication hurts. The needle is very fine, but the medication kind of stings. On the plus side, it doesn't hurt for long and it's all fine now.
At 6:40 this morning the phone rang. My alarm doesn't go off until 6:50 so this was literally a wake up call. It was the receptionist at the clinic booking my appointment on Monday. She asked when I wanted it and I said about 8:00, my usual time, if it was available. She said "For you, honey, I would do anything and I mean that". Seriously, people take my lack of success pretty personally there. So full bladder at 8am on Monday.
I was not very productive at work yesterday. I just couldn't get my head nor heart into it. At least today I am going out to a client site to do a little lunch & learn (sans lunch, so just a learn?) session that will make me focus. I was reading through my own blog, reviewing the FET last year. Seeing what I wrote about, reminders to myself, what I might have glossed over (not much). I realized I have been saying I've been pregnant 6 times since last year and it's actually 7. Who the fuck forgets these kinds of numbers? I am all for willful ignorance, but I didn't think I let myself go that far. Let me recount (apparently for my sake, not yours).
- IVF #1 - negative on first pregnancy test, the only cycle this happened.
- FET #1 - embryos from first IVF, chemical pregnancy. Devastating because I had no coping skills but it lead us to a great therapist.
- IVF #2 - miscarriage - passed both pregnancy tests, nothing was there for my 6 week ultrasound. Horrible, horrible day.
- FET #2 - chemical pregnancy
- FET #3 - chemical pregnancy, pretty sure the failed test was Thanksgiving. A handful of people were in the know, the glass of wine in my hand was the signal not to ask.
- IVF #3 - Passed first test, declining on 2nd test, failed 3rd test.
- Natural pregnancy - Figured out I was pregnant December 27th, test on the 28th with HCG well over 600, ultrasound dated me at 7 weeks 5 days, miscarriage at 8 weeks 1 day, Jan 10. Fucking nightmare.
- FET #4 - last cycle I blogged about, great pregnancy tests, bleeding day after second test (Sunday) and through that week my HCG levels slowly declined, gave up on Friday.