And I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
My SIL had the baby girl at 4:30 this morning. Everyone is happy and healthy, the baby is 9lbs and I haven't figured out a nick name for her yet so she'll just be my niece for now. Clone did come back home to be here for the birth but he has to head back to the NWT on Sunday. I gather my SIL and niece will be here until the end of August and her dad is going to go back with them when the time comes.
My mom phoned just before I left for work with the news. I just felt numb but happy to hear it all went well and my brother was here for the birth. I had been told that she was in very early labour yesterday, she went in to be induced but she was already 3cm dilated. So I wasn't surprised by the call.
My drive to work was good but I don't remember any of it, I forgot my pass at home, the meter in the parking lot didn't like my corporate card so now I'll have to expense it myself. It was later than usual by the time I got to my desk.
And then I opened my email to see pictures of the three of them and started crying. Not a lot of crying, but I couldn't hold them in.
I don't want to be an aunt.
I want to be a mom.
Mr. Lina and I both have colds (mine is in my chest, lots of coughing but I don't feel as bad as I did earlier in the week) so we'll have to hold back on visiting in person. It's too bad because I'll probably feel better about the baby than I do about the pictures. Look at that, I went back to calling her "the baby" not my niece. Apparently I am not ready for attachment.
File this under rambly sorting out my thoughts post. I'm sure they will be changing by the day if not the hour.