Wednesday, May 16

Patience

When you decide you are going to go ahead with infertility treatments, there are things you expect to suck and others you just don't anticipate.  You know there will be lots of blood drawn, internal ultrasounds, bad news, painful procedures and crappy side effects.  And some of this you get used to (blood drawn from my right arm doesn't hurt anymore) and others, well, you find coping techniques to varying success levels (bad news I'm looking at you).  But who expects waiting to be on that list?  Dealing with the clinic (and I imagine most specialists) is a lot of waiting for them to call.  I call them and leave a message, then wait.  I go in for blood work, then wait to hear the outcome.

Today is one of the days I'm waiting for a phone call that may not come.  I was into the clinic on Monday and today for the usual ultrasounds and blood work.  The nurse said all seems to be on schedule for my estrogen levels and the lining of my uterus, but until the blood work comes back, she can't guess at anything.  And I do appreciate that, I want to know not guess.  If they do call, it means that I start Prometrium (progesterone that makes me sleepy, not crazy) tomorrow and the transfer is in 6 days so Monday (as I guessed from the outset).  If they do not call, then I go in on Friday morning and we see how things are looking then.

It's like the playoffs.  You beat your best of 7 opponent in 4 games but you still have to see the results for your next opponent to know exactly when it's game day.  Sure it's exciting, I'm a happy camper here, but there is anticipation that is hard to describe.  Particularly for phone calls that may not come and aren't bad news either way.

I am afraid no sewing going on this week.  Monday was sorting through our camping gear to get ready for the weekend and Thursday will be taken up by camping prep too.  Last night we went for a walk and spent time together.  Mr. Lina is struggling a little, he has big feelings going on and I can see them swirling around him.  But the words are hard to find so we just spend time together and when the words are ready I'll be there.  Until then, just going for a walk together, snuggling on the couch, holding hands, well, it eases some of it.

And just as I was about to hit publish on this whiny post about waiting the clinic has called.  We are a go for the FET.  I start my sleepy time Prometrium tomorrow, Estrace (estrogen) starts to drop tomorrow.  And we will be at the clinic with my full bladder for my 8:00 am transfer on Tuesday morning.  The full bladder is because the catheter with the tiny little embryos on it are guided by an external ultrasound.  Happy dance, happy dance...  everyone do the office appropriate chair dance with me. 

12 comments:

  1. The best part of this post is the last. I'm so happy you received. The news that you wanted. I definitely did my happy chair dance :)

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    1. Good to know I'm not the only chair dancer out there. I'm writing up emails to the people who need notice I won't be here (and as some people need more detail than others, I'm not cc'ing the world) and it's taking time because I keep dancing every time I write it out.

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  2. I even did a standing dance for you! With dogs!

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    1. With dogs? It doesn't get better than that.

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  3. Hurray for you, and the very very best of luck!

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  4. Yay for good news! I did an office-inappropriate dance in bed. My cats are very disturbed now, LOL.

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    1. Now isn't it funny that ElleC's dogs want to join in on dancing and cats are disturbed. Such wonderfully different pets.
      All of these comments have me dancing again. :D

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  5. Happy (belated) chair dance here!

    Waiting is a head-trip, I agree. We are in a similar (although not nearly so potentially exciting) limbo over my husband's medical issues.

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  6. Isn't waiting the most infuriating thing? You feel lame for complaining about it, but it doesn't stop that weird feeling of impatience and annoyance, staring at a phone willing it to ring. Limbo is brutal, I hope news comes soon.

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  7. I'm late to the party, but dancing away! So Tuesday as in day after tomorrow? What time is that EST? I want to be sure I am doing the happy, good juju, fairy dust sending dance at the right time!

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    1. That's all good, as I just posted, I would have given you the wrong time anyhow. And yes, EST. I will take all the good juju and fairy dust I can get. :)

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