I love Fridays. The whole weekend is just potential to look forward to. I do have to work but the pace is different, people are happier. My drive in the morning is often better (although home is a bit of a crap shoot). The only ones around me who are really stressed it's because they "flexed" their hours working more earlier in the week and they are hoping to leave early. We're off to a cottage with 5 friends on Lake Huron tonight until Sunday morning. It's motivation to get stuff done myself. But I have a few thoughts to sort out and document first...
I believe it is Day 1 for me. If this moves past spotting, that's a 50 day cycle. That probably sounds ridiculous to many of you but it's actually not too bad for me. Given that it's my first cycle after Pregnancy #7, I figured I wouldn't ovulate and it would take a little time. 50 days is not bad. It's interesting that it's another 49 days until we see Dr. M again. So odds are it's going to be a two cycle wait for the next FET.
Mr. Lina was in for a physical yesterday. He tends to have high blood pressure (mine is generally low), but it was really high yesterday. Like, "I'd like to see you again in September" kind of high. It's been this high before, we got it down to the high side of normal, at least low enough that he didn't need medication and the monthly visits to our family doctor stopped. I guess for me it's a reminder that I'm not the only one who is impacted by all the uncertainty.
On the plus side, it will give me a reason beyond myself to pay attention to our diet. I don't cook with added salt, with my food allergies I don't use a lot of pre-made foods, when I am interested in making dinner it's healthy stuff that would fit into the DASH diet. The thing is, I often don't care or don't make time. Mr. Lina has to take responsibility for his dietary changes as I do not make his lunch nor breakfast and even dinner there are usually one or two nights a week where one of us is not home or we're eating on the go (perhaps a vendor dog prior to seeing Lyle Lovett last night was not the best choice...). Still, I have not been good at buying groceries every week, this is a good reason to pick up more fruits and veggies that Mr. Lina likes and push them in his general direction.
On our drive into Toronto last night, we were talking about his doctors appointment and all the things they talked about. (Side note, I love our family doctor. He genuinely cares. He looks for the big picture of health and asks about everything from work to the state of our marriage during a physical, health is a two way conversation.) Mr. Lina was expressing much of the same things that I have in my blog. After that miscarriage (#6), neither of us really cared about ourselves. Why should I make the effort to take care of my own body? It's not helping me out, it keeps rejecting all the babies I try to have. It's interesting that he stopped caring about himself even though it's not his body doing the work with respect to baby making.
Part of this chapter in time needs to be about the two of us focusing on us, as a team. Maybe I don't always care about taking care of me, but I do want to take care of him. Maybe if we both believe we're doing something right for the other person we'll find the motivation to help ourselves along the way.