I wish I had some encouraging news today. I won't be in for tests until tomorrow, but the cramps are coming back. I woke up to some red blood, and I've felt okay this morning but since about noon or so the cramps have been slowly building and getting rather painful. Not a good sign when I am not even coming up to the next dose of prometrium.
I feel kind of numb and okay with this. You all know how much I want this to work, but I also know how much worse the pain (both emotionally and physically) is as it drags out. I feel a bit fatalistic. This will be what it will be and I'm not saying I'm happy but I can't control it either. The analytical side of my brain knows all the facts and is well aware of what's going on while we still rub my belly good morning and good night and talk about what the baby likes (ice cream) and what the baby did not like (flavoured tuna). We also tell it to study hard for each test.
My employers are being really supportive. I'm working from home today and tomorrow, we'll take things day by day. With the cramps increasing, I will be less productive this afternoon but at least this isn't another personal day. I'm only suppose to have 7 in a year, pretty sure I'm over that now and it's not even midway through the year.
So while I sit and let myself be pampered, I have been picking away at crochet. I decided my first four edged project (to call it a rectangle is an insult to all straight edges out there) was big enough to be a functional dish cloth so I tied that off. It is warped and horrible with dropped stitches galore, but I kinda like it for that.
I started a second "rectangle of learning". It starts with a bit of single crochet and then some half-double crochet and double crochet. I think I'm catching onto the pattern of the stitches although I still look ahead at the actual pattern pictures and don't get it. I must say it passes time and while I do need to pay attention to what I'm doing, it lets me get into a zone of not thinking about other things. I took a picture but I don't know where the little card reader is so it's going to have to wait until Mr. Lina is home.
Also, have any of you read Pride and Prejudice? I'm oh.. more than half way through (Mr. Darcy just got shot down by Elizabeth, I wouldn't have seen that proposal coming either) and enjoying it so far. I think I'd like to see one of the movie adaptations once I have finished it. I have to say it's been a while since I read something that had older English. I used to be more game for stuff like this but half the time I'm reading because I'm tired and want to zone out rather than pick apart the nuances of older language structure.