Wednesday, November 2

Time to breathe

Things are chugging along a little better this week.  Not to say it's perfect, but...
  • I haven't cried at work
  • I have been productive yesterday and today
  • I have taken all of my medications and vitamins
  • I am feeling better now at the end of the day than I did leaving the house
So all in all, not too shabby.

Halloween was lots of fun.  We had 67 kids at the door this year, which is about average for us.  Last year was not a good year so I'm glad to see it was an anomaly rather than a declining trend.  I like handing out treats.  We dressed up in our Saturday costumes again (although I wore comfy red flats).  One little girl, might have been 3, as she was walking up the path she says (quite loudly) "Are you a pirate?" to which Mr Lina said "Yes I am, and are you a fairy?" and then she babbled on about all of her magical powers and how she liked being a magical fairy.  Her two older brothers were Mario and Luigi and didn't say a word.  I bet they don't get too many words in edgewise.  My brothers could probably relate.

Between Halloween and bowling, both nights have been busy.  I have no plans for tonight and Thursday.  A good friend is going to a conference in town and asked to stay with us on Friday.  I am looking forward to seeing her.  I mentioned her son, R,  in my posts about Summerfolk.  She's a good mom-friend, know what I mean?  The age gap is there, our stage of life is so far apart, but I love listening to her perspective.  She makes me think.  Anyhow, she has plans until about 10pm so we won't have a ton of time to chat before bed, but it will be good to catch up and outside of her visit, I don't have plans.  So this is 3 nights where I do have some house cleaning to do, some personal laundry (seriously out of panties), household laundry, but... I don't have to go anywhere.  And laundry doesn't need a lot of babysitting so it will be time for myself. 

I had lunch today with an old friend.  We met through my bowling  league, I suppose 9 years ago now.  Not that long relative to my university friends, but it feels longer.  We just clicked immediately as good friends.  I think because we aren't really part of each others worlds, we've often been good neutral supports for each other.  We don't see each other like we used to.  He's not bowling anymore, he now has 2 kids, moved half an hour away and for quite a while our workplaces were too far apart for our usual lunches.  I was thinking about him at bowling last night and how much I miss him.  I always know I can call him for support, but it's been months since I have reached out to him.  So today I did.  Rather than giving the usual "oh it's good" for the "how's life?" question, I figured I'd be honest.  It turned out he was seeing a client not far from my office this afternoon, lunch worked for both of us and I'm glad it did.  I didn't get to everything, but that's okay, this isn't going to be fixed in an hour, but it also had me realizing my thoughts about it are more organized.  They are coming from a calmer place where I can make rational decisions rather than just being overwhelmed.  I could talk about it without welling up.  It's good. 

So that is how my day started filled with thoughts of not wanting to leave the house, dread walking across the super long parking lot and ended with handing in a project and a smile that isn't entirely forced.  The right friend at the right time.

4 comments:

  1. Good for you! One of my attempts to keep myself on a more even keel the last few months has been weekly skype chats with my best friend. It hasn't always worked, but it's always good and I feel better afterwards. Calm is good.

    Something odd in my life is that Tyo is feeling the same overwhelmed, stressed-out feelings I'm having these days, which while typical for me is not so typical for her. Although I try to keep my kids sheltered from my breakdowns, I can't help but wonder if she's picking something up from me on some subconscious level. Or, we could both just be stressing like crazy. /sigh.

    Good luck, and keep it up! (Except when you can't, in which case, wine or chocolate. Or whatever your particular weakness is. ;) )

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  2. Yay! You are my 100th comment (which granted includes my replies, but there isn't a stat ticker for replies minus my own that I can see). I didn't think anyone would read or comment on anything, so it's pretty cool.

    Now how old is Tyo? Is she getting into the weird hormone years (ah, decades...) yet? Kids do pick up on atmosphere even if they miss the details of what's going on. She could just be sensitive. There is a great Paul Mills song, Blues are Like Shoes, sums up how our problems suit our size but it doesn't mean they aren't big at the time. I like Paul Mills version better, but I can't find a good online version at the moment. Here's house concert footage of the same song by David Bradstreet..
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKozIFwf0-8

    My particular weakness? A little bit of column A and a little bit of column B... Oh and salt. I like pretzels. and crackers. sigh, I'll eat anything that isn't good for me in the right mood. ;)

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  3. Tyo's eleven. Hormones are definitely Happening, alongside other distressing changes, but the anxiety/stress seems to be related to school---they have provincial testing this year (gr. 6). But she is also sensitive---she has understanding and sympathy for other people far beyond what's typical, I think (and yes, I am her mother, so I'm not exactly an unbiased observer ;) ).

    I'm a chocolate person. Although I don't really eat for emotional reasons---just for yumminess reasons.

    Shopping, now that I'll do for "therapy"... when I'm less poor than I am now, anyway... ;)

    Oh, and congratulations on the 100th comment! :)

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  4. Well, you aren't saying Tyo is the super genius, so I don't think 'mom's bias applies'.

    Grade 6 was a tough year for me as I remember it. Lots of crap going on at home with my brother, insecure in a new school, oh and a class of 21 boys and 8 girls. Wasn't that good planning? School drama is crazy and no one has the social skills that they think they do. People who teach grade 6 must be saints to be surrounded by that all the time.

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Thanks for your comments, I love to have a two way conversation. I seem to be getting a lot of spam from anonymous users and am turning off the ability to comment that way. I really would like to hear from you so if you do want to add your two cents without an OpenId, email me at seraphinalina at gmail dot com.