Two years ago my youngest brother, Clone, made the mistake of saying that as much as he found the show Hoarders interesting, he got to a point where he couldn't watch it any more. He also went on a 5 minute rant about snuggies. Same family event but not the same conversation.
Mr. Lina bought Season 1 of Hoarders and a leopard print snuggy in August so he wouldn't forget. Here you can see Clone growling in his leopard print snuggy that Christmas.
Country Girl Couture has a post about Christmas music that reminded me of the start of these silly gifts. (Side note, check out all of her "Things that tick me off Thursday" posts, I always find them amusing).
Quite a few years ago, I don't think that Mr. Lina and I were married at this point, Paul McCartney's song "Wonderful Christmastime" came on the radio or store or something. I think it's one of the worst offenders for being overly cute (I love the Beatles, but damn Paul needs someone like John to tell him when to dial the sappy crap back.) I told Mr. Lina that my brother Scot HATES that song. So much he will leave armloads of picked out presents behind and walk out of a store, just so he can escape the song.
Mr. Lina thought this is good information.
He burns that song 13 times on a CD, creates a fake play list on the back and uses Google images for Scot's name to put pictures on the cover calling it "A Very Scot Christmas".
And he giggles to himself with glee.
Scot figured something is up when he opens it up. Dokken (etc) is not really his taste in music and he couldn't understand why Mr. Lina thinks he would want to listen to any of the music on the play list. So after the presents are opened, people are checking out their new gifts, he goes to my parents stereo and hits play.
About 4 bars in, he flips the CD over to read the play list again.
12 bars in he hits next.
4 bars in he hits next. And hits next sooner and sooner until he looks up and says "So is it on EVERY tract?" as my entire family start laughing.
Next year, Mr. Lina's gift from Scot was wrapped in paper mache. Silly gifts have circled between my brothers and Mr. Lina since then. Last year Clone wrapped Scot's gift in bacon. Nothing crazy happened this year, my SIL actually commented on that.
Little did she (or I) know, this year, Mr. Lina had a surprise for me.
When we were in Manitoba this summer his parents taught us to play Canasta. It was a new card game to both of us and we played a few times to get the hang of it, pairing with his parents so it wasn't two newbies being ganged up on. One game, my team won quite soundly, mostly because I had wild card after wild card. One round I went out before Mr. Lina got into his foot.
That night, as we were going to bed he said to me he knew what he was going to get me for Christmas. I was surprised, I mean, this was early July and we hadn't done much beyond playing cards and watching the lake property be leveled by a back hoe. I had no idea what would inspire a Christmas present.
Yes, he said, enough decks of cards to play Canasta and a vibrator so I could go f*ck myself. He was pretty proud of himself for coming up with that line but kind of giggled as he said it so it had no teeth.
My "non-family Christmas gift" arrived yesterday with multiple decks of cards. I'm all set to play Canasta by myself. ;)
What?! No vibrator? Tsk tsk! :-P I love how your family has this awesome rivalry about Christmas--stuff like that just makes it awesome. The closest we have to that is that my (rather, uh, religious) SIL (whom I adore, as long as she's not on one of her religion kicks) always seems to get me some sort of "churchy" book or a rosary or something...I can't decide if she thinks it's a good idea or she's just jerking my chain...
ReplyDeleteIt sure makes it interesting with gifts like that. My MIL usually puts a pair of lace panties in my stocking. My first Christmas with his family (not even engaged), his grandma and I got the same panties in our stockings in different colours. Sex is more open in his family than mine. Which also would be why I told my MIL about the cards & vibrators the next morning not realizing she would tell every neighbour who came visiting about it. Algthough she did often switch the wording so I could go screw myself.
DeleteSo no wink to go with that rosary? The books could be teasing, but I suspect she's thinks the rosary is just a good idea. I would have a hard time understanding gifts like that too. It's got to be hard to say a heartfelt thank you if it's really not your interest.
I love your family. I have always wanted to jello someone's desk (or gift) It seems like something your family would actually do, so I thought I would mention it. Feel free to steal the idea and the credit for the idea.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you about Sir Paul. One can develop diabetes listening to his music.
It makes my mom happy (like laughing with tears) every time things like this go on because you don't paper mache someones present unless you really love them. I will have to remember jello. I have yet to get involved in the Christmas crazies, but after the vibrator & cards I just might have to.
DeleteHow can I love the Beatles and dislike Wings? Granted, George is my favourite Beatle but Paul had lots of great Beatles songs. I usually like half of a Wings song and then things go wrong.
I have to say, I have never been a fan of Wings, Silly Love Songs makes me want to pierce my eardrums with a knitting needle. John is/was my Beatle. He didn't write one song that I didn't like.
DeleteYou make me laugh. I completely understand.
DeleteLMAO I had to explain to JJ just why I was laughing so much! He came over to check I was really reading this on a sewing blog!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear people found this amusing. You never know if what is funny in your head is as funny in print.
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