It was not to be.
I had a fantastic vacation. I slept. I swam. I fished. I crocheted. I slept. I felt pretty good.
But I had my 6 week ultrasound today and my uterus is empty. There is no fetal pole there, no heart beat beyond my own. So they ran blood work and sure enough, my HCG levels are down. They aren't even making me come in to check again so it must be really low, they usually want to track it to lower than 5.
I'm numb. I'm sad. But I'm... okay.
I have been here before, I know I'll get through it. I also know this blog will be part of getting past it. I'll write more when I'm ready. Believe you me, I'll be writing.