Tuesday, February 19

Time for a List

The feelings of overwhelmed are strong in this one...

Time for a list.
  • I've found the cure for infertility, apparently it's me.  Another friend who talked to me about her fertility issues is now pregnant, she's been seeing my doctor for maybe 5 months.  I think I'm 5 for 5 now.
  • I haven't told Mr. Lina, I have come close but I can't actually say the words.
  • I have too much going on at work, it's overwhelming.
  • Yesterday was a stat holiday in Ontario, I knew I should do some work to make today easier and I just couldn't force myself to do it.
  • I don't even want to open my email now.
  • Last night I woke up quite a few times, it was not a restful night at all.
    • Too hot
    • Bad dream - I was driving and saw in my rearview that I was going to be hit from behind, I turned the car a little so it wasn't too hard a bump and the driver drove off, I wasn't hurt nor was my passenger, but I woke up stressing about where to get the car fixed, would insurance pay for it, should I wait for the police or drive to a collision reporting centre....  You'd think it would be the bump from the car that would wake me up, but no, I have more mundane things to worry about.
    • Headache, strange since I sleep through migraines and typically think of sleep as a solution to headaches, but it was bad enough to require Advil to fall back asleep.
    • Mr. Lina said I was snoring, not something I do typically.
  • I think the 35 sizing for Tiramisu will work better, but it's still kind of funky and I couldn't think through it.  Turned on the lights, sewed one temporary seam, tried it on and walked away from my sewing room.
  • Sunday we hosted a chili cook off.  This is generally easy entertaining.  We clean up the house, Mr. Lina makes our chili entry, people bring chili, the most I have to worry about is enough bowls and cutlery. 
  • This also felt overwhelming and almost made me cry on Saturday - prior to people arriving.  I played stupid little games to keep my mind off the feeling because I knew I'd be okay once we got going.  Plants vs Zombies to the rescue.
  • Our favourite 2.5 year old was rather adorable.  She liked my tickles and must have been paying attention when I was talking to her mom about our upcoming vacation to Mexico.  She told her neighbours she was going to Mexico the day after the party. 
  • Bowling dance was... well, fun but kind of lame at the same time.  I had a good time because of the people I went with.
  • I saw a lot of people I bowled with as a kid but I was a bit too shy for some reason to re-introduce myself to them.  Probably related to the fact my average is now 60 pins lower than it was as a teen and they are still competitive.  Makes me wonder if I'd be competing at the open if I didn't stop for those 9 years.
  • I didn't have Tiramisu done but I wore a black RTW dress this is really similar to Tira (knit, cross at the bust, full skirt from a waist band, but sleeveless and has wide bands to wrap around and tie at the waist) and was totally appropriate.
  • But then again, anything would have been appropriate.  One girl wore a dress that barely covered her ass (literally she could not bend down to pick up cutlery she dropped) with gold sequins, some men wore suits and some guys wore dockers and a sweater (which granted is still dressed up compared to being at the lanes).
  • It was fun to cha cha and rhumba with Mr Lina.  I wish the dj was better.  We don't like being the only ones out there like we're on Dancing with the Stars, and people would go out and dance for 2-3 songs and then the dance floor would clear.  Or how about the Michael Buble 3 pack.  Love his music and I might have been able to talk Mr. Lina into a fox trot, but if no one danced for the first song, perhaps playing two more would not be a wise idea.
  • We really need to get back to lessons, it's amazing how much I've forgot.  We're horribly out of practice.  I mean, it looks good, but we only did about 3-4 steps for cha-cha and 2 for rhumba.
  • Just went to the ladies room and realized that my faux sweater-vest/blouse is low enough that you can see the top of my black bra above the sweater and under the white blouse part.  Sigh.  Bra-fail.
  • And my apologies for any blog comments with horrible grammar and spelling.  I couldn't spell "relationship" this morning.  I wanted to put an s where the t is. 
I am the win.


  1. Oh, honey, you are not having a good month! I don't know what to say except that it's important to share how you feel - potentially with a doctor, if these doldrums go on for too much longer. Are you thinking of coming to the meet-up in TO on the weekend? I can send you the info if you're not aware of it...

    1. I am seriously considering going to the meet up. I just found out the other day when Kay commented about it. We leave for Mexico at 6:15 AM (what were we thinking?!?) the next morning. I couldn't make a decision yesterday but my husband is encouraging me to go.

      I still have the headache from yesterday so I'm taking today off work. I can't think like this.

  2. Just try to get through the headache. If you're up to it, I'm sure you'll have a great time.

  3. I'm sorry that you are struggling. Very important to talk to someone.
    I recently did 7 sessions of Grief Recovery. Drop me an email if you are interested in hearing more. (It's not super sad or fluffy pop psychology. It provides real tools to deal with the losses in our life.)
    Not trying to diagnose. I care about you and it helped me. :)


Thanks for your comments, I love to have a two way conversation. I seem to be getting a lot of spam from anonymous users and am turning off the ability to comment that way. I really would like to hear from you so if you do want to add your two cents without an OpenId, email me at seraphinalina at gmail dot com.