tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59451682772559893852024-03-13T23:21:05.233-04:00SeraphinalinaA place to sort out my thoughts... sewing, music, life.Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.comBlogger324125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-64689105544442210832016-04-11T14:18:00.001-04:002016-04-11T14:20:40.034-04:00Long overdue check inSo life chez-Lina is pretty good. Still crazy, still heart wrenching, and certainly full of social workers but good.<br />
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Spunk (now 5) has sort of figured out that we're sticking around. She's full of statements like "You are MY mom" or "You will be MY mom forever". Toileting has improved tremendously, she's finally going to school all day and generally thriving. She's able to read a bit, print well, and academically closer to her peers that I'd expected given all this emotional upheaval. Her struggles (school wise) are more learning social skills. She's so fearful of rejection, she has a hard time asking others to play or letting them control the game.<br />
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Clover (now 13) has had a rougher time I'd say. In my last post, I mentioned she slipped and called Mr. Lina Dad. That was the start of her brain going "Holy fuck what is going on??? We don't trust MEN!!!". I spent the fall saying she was sliding, she needed help, she hit a bottom in December which opened us up to more help. We've added more medical professionals to the team, sorted out an alphabet of diagnosis and we're working on treatments. Somehow through bleak months where she couldn't do more than mumble to Mr. Lina she still managed to have 5 grades at 90%. She has a boyfriend so I now get to talk about sex and worry about what's happening on that 45 minute walk after school on top of the usual mental health/parenting concerns.<br />
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Legally speaking, the girls are still our foster daughters. There was a lab in Toronto that did hair analysis to find historical drug use. There was a false positive in a divorce case (so impacted custody but nothing to do with adoption) which led to an inquest. Because of the inquest, they are now opening up every single case where the lab was used to see if it played a factor in the apprehension of children. Until that is resolved, all adoptions for cases where the lab was used (even distantly - like in the case of an older sibling who is now an adult holding back the younger sibling from being adopted) are on hold. I cannot control the government, I know our case and I know I have nothing to worry about. Birth mom is actually in a good spot now and she recognizes the girls are better with us. But it does mean I have to adhere to more social worker visits and paper work for much longer than expected and I still can't post pictures.<br />
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My parental leave came to an end March 29th. We spent the whole month getting the girls ready for Dad taking over (Mr Lina has been on parental leave since November). 2 days one week, 3 the next and all 5 days after March Break, Mr. Lina did the whole morning alone and I usually tried to find somewhere to be after school. With social worker visits and therapy being as frequent as they are, the after school part didn't always work out, but it showed them he could do it. The night before I went back to work, Spunk climbed up in my lap asking for "help" to finish the last few bites of food. We used to do this all the time and she hadn't asked for weeks. Mr. Lina asked what that was about and she said "Tomorrow is going to be a very tough day and I need extra cuddles from Mom." Kudos to her for being able to articulate her feelings. <br />
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My return to work lasted 2 hours. I was given a severance package. While I was off they sold the software I specialize in and my position was not there to return to. Never mind the fact there are presently 5 openings I could fill in other divisions. Not my problem, we're leaving that to lawyers. For now, I will casually look for work and enjoy more time at home.<br />
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This past weekend, Clover's best friend had her birthday party. Her dad travels for work a LOT so they have points up the wazoo so they book 2 hotel rooms in Toronto, let her bring 4 friends and essentially hang out in a hotel room for the sleep over. Her mom asked me along. I'm game for bonding with another mom who has known my daughter longer than I have and seeing Clover interact with old friends I don 't know myself. I had to drive myself, there were 7 in total and their car holds 6. I didn't mind the drive and paying for my own parking but I was wanting to go home with Clover, have a little time 1:1. She wanted to go with her friends.<br />
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Rejection is the hardest part of living with Clover. She does it over and over again. In little things, like not eating brownies I made, not eating vegetarian food I made for her (she's the least healthy vegetarian I have EVER met, breadetarian would be more accurate). She pisses Mr. Lina off by putting her feet on the kitchen table and leaving lights on. The bigger deal you make of it, the more it happens. <br />
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So I said I was disappointed but let her go in the other car. I couldn't manage my own anger to turn it into a fun afternoon with her at that point. It's not fun if she doesn't want to be there.<br />
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I went to Queen and Spadina and thought of past times shopping there. I only bought one piece of linen (I have insane stash to work through still and Sunday is not a good shopping day), but I remembered the fun blogger shopping trips. It was inspiring and calming and made me feel good. I went to a European grocery store that is no longer convenient and stocked up on mulled wine tea and garlic sausage for Mr. Lina. I went to Starbucks just so I'd have a cup to put in the recycling bin. <br />
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Me petty? Never. <br />
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Not petty when I told her about staying in Toronto for a few more hours, how I forgot what kind of a great vibe there is around Queen West and times I spent there with Mr. Lina...<br />
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I also finished up a t shirt I cut out a week ago. Just a clone of a retail shirt I have that I like, nothing crazy, pretty much a big rectangle rayon knit that drapes nicely and is long enough for jeggings. And don't you know I put it on this morning and slop egg yolk down the front of it. I didn't even wear it for an hour before needing to wash it. On the plus side, it is wearable, the yolk came out and I have cut out another shirt from navy <a href="http://seraphinalina.blogspot.ca/2012/02/happy-pre-valentines-day.html">modal</a> I bought in 2012.<br />
Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-54757158568738674572015-10-05T09:53:00.000-04:002015-10-05T09:53:29.414-04:00Not Dead YetDid I drop off the face of the earth or what?<br />
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It's been a crazy summer here. I barely had time to visit the washroom alone never mind blog. For the sake of privacy for the girls, this is probably going to be pretty vague.<br />
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So my girls, let me start there. They are sisters, the older is 12 and the younger will be 5 at the end of November. Think about that, what makes a 4 year old happy is miserably boring to the 12 year old. Things the 12 year old want to do are either too mature in content or a disaster for a 4 year old (do they have to pack quite so many shiny things into Ardenes?). They have been in care for almost 3 years. I am Mom #4 to them. It is amazing when I look back at posts I made as I was dealing with infertility and moving onto preparing myself for adoption through Children's Aid that I was right about so much. And yet I still had no idea.<br />
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The older girl, Clover, she is stunningly beautiful, distant and chatty all in one. She's got emotional walls that would make Helm's Deep look like cardboard. She is a world of contradictions, pie is too sweet but a bag of skittles is okay. Wants to be a vegetarian but eats bacon and pepperettes faster than Mr. Lina. Her room will be strewn with clothing but every bit of Hunger Games is carefully placed in a shrine. She has the teen age "I don't know" down to an art form. She wants this family to work so much it makes my heart burst sometimes. I see the fear around the edges when her sister is acting up, the "don't fuck this up for both of us" is strong.<br />
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The younger girl, Spunk, has two speeds, run and crash, and yet she has limited endurance and no skills to rest. I have never met a child so easy to engage with, and that's half the problem. Last week a neighbour had a new roof put on and she was treating these absolute strangers like family friends. You do not want to tickle a roofer's armpits at the end of the day. She is absolutely delightful and yet so full of rage, she doesn't know what to do with it. I don't have the language or emotional IQ to discuss the abandonment and confusion she's feeling, she sure doesn't so it comes out in absolute melt downs. She is exhausting. There is caring that she should have experienced as an infant that she missed, so our almost constant play is some variation of baby. Baby bird, baby puppy, baby kitten, etc. etc. etc., baby unicorn usually has a broken leg because Clover sprained her foot this summer and keeps reinjuring it. The first time is cute and fun, but 3 months of baby play is exhausting. You don't know how happy I was for a change when we played "salon" last week.<br />
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Most weeks, I have 1-2 therapy sessions (either for me alone, us together or Clover sees a different therapist on her own, one day I'll get the invite to join) and at least one social worker dropping by. Really I have a team of 6 between social workers and therapists to lean on. School starting is the best thing ever. There is morning routine, I have two hours to myself (Spunk isn't ready for a full day just yet). That's two hours to actually SEE a therapist without the added stress of coverage for the girls (keep in mind I have to keep their world small so they only know so many people), time to get groceries, chuck dinner in the slow cooker as dinner is the time most likely to have melt downs, I don't know, have a bath, pee, call my parents. School is wonderful.<br />
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We've seen so much change in Spunk. In June, she didn't know where her arms and legs were, I thought she was going to die on the school playground, she really did fall off it. Now, she has the upper body strength to do monkey bars. She does it so much she's got a callus building on her palm. She referred to us as mom and dad quickly, but not the way most kids mean it. I was "the mom in the purple shirt", or she would ask me where my dad was meaning Mr. Lina. In her mind, every house has a mom and dad, we were just the mom and dad here. But now she will say things like "you are MY mom" and we make a big deal about the "ownership" of relationships. She tries to repair with us when she screws up, this isn't something she's done with other care givers. She will apologize unprompted and repeatedly. Sometimes 3 days after she's hurt us she will ask if it still hurts and could she kiss it better again. <br />
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Clover called Mr. Lina dad for the first time last night. For a girl with thick walls and the ability to be stoic in any situation, letting that slip is incredible. The changes in Spunk are measurable as she gains coordination, learns new skills (like rhyming), changes her behaviour. In Clover, it's harder, she's incredibly independent. A change for her is asking me to put nail polish on her last night. She's learning to lean on us, to ask.<br />
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From a legal perspective, they are now available for adoption. I don't really know what the time lines look like for lawyers and judges to do that. I am not worried, it will happen when it's the right time. The girls are just learning now we are sticking this out. It's okay to have a little more time to prove that to them before Clover signs the papers that we are the parents she wants.<br />
Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-80149629756012961672015-05-26T11:19:00.000-04:002015-05-26T11:19:29.601-04:00A little more detailWhat a whirlwind. <br />
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Friday we were going to meet with our adoption worker and the girls (sisters, 12 and 4) social worker. A chance to ask some questions, fill in some of the gaps in the inch of paper we had on them. As much as we knew every dentist appointment, sometimes that level of detail leaves things out.<br />
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It was going to be maybe an hour or so of chit chat. It turned into a 2+ hour meeting.<br />
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At one point the social workers said they would give us some time to think and discuss what we had learned that day and come to a decision if we wanted to go ahead, take a few days to talk.<br />
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Mr. Lina looked at me and said, I don't need more time, do you?<br />
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And nothing in that meeting made me change my mind. Of anything, hearing about some of my concerns in context, my level of empathy increased. <br />
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Sure, they are going to be hard to parent. Really hard. <br />
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But I can't stop smiling and giggling when I think of the younger sister throwing daily temper tantrums. It's going to happen. I'm taking her away from the great foster mother she sees as "Mom". I don't have the words to explain how terrified and happy I am right now, how can I expect a 4 year old to express the emotional mud she's feeling? Of course it's going to come out as temper tantrums and battles for control over inconsequential things. It's going to take some time and effort for her to see us as the people who will keep her safe. But I can be stubborn too.<br />
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So we said yes. Yes, please. Let's do this.<br />
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And the social workers put on their poker face and left the room to discuss and apparently did a happy dance the minute they got into their office. <br />
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We're going to meet them this coming weekend. The girls don't know yet, more notice isn't always a good thing. They will need a lot of processing time, but a week of thinking about it prior to meeting us is just too much time for their imagination to make it even scarier than it is (and it's plenty scary). We've put together a book about us to facilitate conversations with their social worker and their foster family.<br />
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I'm still full of a lot of unknowns. I don't know when they will be officially placed with us (we're discussing that as a group tomorrow), I don't know their favourite colours or food, I don't know exactly when we'll meet them or how this transition is going to go. I don't know what we are doing for parental leave but we both want time off to focus on making those connections.<br />
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I DO know the puzzle pieces of my family are falling into place. <br />
<br />Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-71386921308359065842015-05-22T16:08:00.000-04:002015-05-22T16:08:08.232-04:00Found 'emSo... I might have found my kids.<br />
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We might have kids before July.<br />
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My heart is exploding and I can't sit still.<br />
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Many, many, many things will be happening over the next 6 weeks.<br />
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<ul>
<li>Assembling a book about us to "sell" us to the kids</li>
<li>Visits with the kids in their current home</li>
<li>A weekend respite visit for their current foster family</li>
<li>Our last training session</li>
<li>Meetings with their therapist</li>
<li>Hearing the results of psychological assessments that have recently been completed</li>
<li>A whole lot of child bedroom furniture being assembled (keep in mind, we're starting from scratch not knowing how old the kids would be)</li>
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It all feels so right and terrifying at the same time.</div>
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I'm going to be a mom.</div>
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I'm going to have daughters.</div>
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I don't have the words, I really don't.</div>
Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-72331866237667763852015-05-15T10:16:00.000-04:002015-05-15T10:16:23.298-04:00Let the summer begin!I can't believe it's already May and a Canadian long weekend is here. I'm still not used to writing 2015 yet (which is not helped that the software I use has been the "December 2014" version until a week ago). We are off camping this weekend, our May long tradition. The weather should be pretty good for May camping - today being the coldest day with a high of 18C and overnight low of 8C. A chance of showers here and there but not a whole weekend of rain. I can deal with that.<br />
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May has had some lovely weather. It's well earned after that ever lasting winter. This picture is from a week ago, all those trees have filled out since then We put up a Manitoba flag in the back yard. The previous owners had a short flag pole on the deck and it's made it feel a little more like ours. We've been eating outside pretty much every night, admittedly sometimes with a little lap blanket as the temperatures are still cool in the evening.<br />
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This may be a bit of TMI, but anyone left reading after all the infertility crap should be used to that. <br />
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I never had a regular cycle and it became abundantly clear in all that treatment that I don't ovulate regularly. So life without fertility treatments and hormones is the new "normal" for me. Generally, it's pretty awesome not to have to worry about my period for weeks on end, but I'm sort of seeing the down side too. When I do get my period, I am getting a pretty bad case of PMS, something I'm not really used to. Two weeks out my breasts get heavy and sore. Two freaking weeks. And as those two weeks go by, my mood gets worse. More apathetic, more likely to tear up at stupid things, less productive. If I don't want to make dinner, sew or buy groceries, you can imagine how inclined I am to go to work. And all this was at it's worst on Mother's Day - like one of the top 3 triggers for sadness and negative thoughts.<br />
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It is lovely to feel like myself again. <br />
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Fan-freaking-tastic.<br />
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Things are moving along on the adoption front. We have an assigned worker and have a date in June to meet the whole team. That isn't holding them back from presenting kids to us. I can't talk about the kids, and I am not saying these are the ones, but we're at the point of making some pretty big and scary decisions. It's pretty cool.<br />
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So now that I'm "ME" again, maybe after camping I can finish up the silk noil Hollyburn I cut out.Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-852523768194390902015-04-15T10:39:00.000-04:002015-04-15T10:39:48.864-04:00Barriers to BloggingI used to sometimes hear blog posts in my head. I'd be thinking about something and it would turn into a conversation of sorts. They were words I needed to get out of my head so I could move on to other thoughts maybe. It really was the push to blog at times I probably shouldn't.<br />
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It doesn't seem to happen much lately. Maybe because I'm happy. Sounds strange but I think most songs are about something sad or challenging. When we're struggling, we often have more things to say, more feelings to sort out.<br />
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That said, I am sewing. It's wonderful to have new clothing to wear. You know a few days I wore entirely me-made outfits last week? Having two pairs of self made pants is certainly extending my wardrobe. And last week I made a denim <a href="http://www.sewaholicpatterns.com/hollyburn-skirt/">Hollyburn</a> skirt.<br />
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I should be eager to blog about all of them but man I suck at taking pictures. I was frantically hemming the skirt on Saturday so I could wear it to my nephews first birthday party (CRAZY, they can't possibly be one already). First birthday, you'd think I'd have a picture or two of me in my self made brand spanking new skirt. <br />
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Nope. I know pictures were taken of me but go figure, all the ones I have seen are of my nephew. I mean really, there was a new skirt to show off, someone should have taken a picture of it (we need a sarcasm font or something). I should have asked Mr. Lina to capture the skirt in all it's non-shiny denim newness but I didn't. <br />
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And then I washed it and wore it to work on Monday. Granted, I left at 7:30am when Mr. Lina was in the shower and I got home at 7:30pm because I have limited time management skills, but in theory I could have taken outdoor pictures yesterday. Spring HAS arrived (although I'm still skeptical it is here to stay). But no, I decided having dinner and buying groceries was more important.<br />
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Oh and how is this for weird? I was at a client this afternoon that happens to be near a Fabricland. The car went on autopilot and the next thing I knew I was parked right in front of it. Strange. But stranger still, I didn't buy much. I actually reminded myself I have fabric and home and bought things like interfacing, lining, and a little piece of fabric with grippies on it so I can make my hand knit slippers last a little longer (I swear my feet eat through yarn). Nothing even to show off. Every time I touched something I was reminded of some other piece of cotton sateen or poly-knit in my fabric stash. <br />
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I like making patterns twice. You figure out what works and doesn't. Let me tell you Hollyburn runs long on me. The "above the knee" but not short (view B) is below my knee AFTER I cut the length for size 0 and then cut an additional 3" off the bottom. I will sew it again but it will be cut 4" shorter (to be above my knee) and from a softer fabric. I do like my light weight denim version (fabric purchased from Len's Mill denim ends, it's so dark it's almost black) but it the denim has enough body to float away from me. My mom said I looked "youthful". When I mentioned being ready for the sock hop Mr. Lina agreed. I have some black linen in my stash, just washed it for a second or third time last week. That could be nice for summer and while it won't drape like a chiffon, it will fall down instead of out.Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-91191514800402042342015-04-01T14:00:00.000-04:002015-04-01T14:00:26.061-04:00Trips & Travels & PantsIt's been quite the month. Mr. Lina and I were off to Germany and Austria for a little film fest and vacation. It's the third year in a row that Mr. Lina had a film accepted into the same Landshut film festival. Every time we meet people in the film industry and reinforce friendships. I swear, my Facebook page is half German now. If I knew in 2012 that I'd be back to Germany 3 times, I would have taken a conversational German class. As it is, we are getting pretty good at "menu-German".<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O7JXsiOpQbY/VRwvxiBFXoI/AAAAAAAAAs4/sCMZ9hWQO-A/s1600/OPening%2Bnight%2Bof%2Bthe%2Bfilm%2Bfest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O7JXsiOpQbY/VRwvxiBFXoI/AAAAAAAAAs4/sCMZ9hWQO-A/s1600/OPening%2Bnight%2Bof%2Bthe%2Bfilm%2Bfest.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Opening night, cloned skirt made in February. Black photographs so well.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did I mention I dyed my hair? Wearing Renfew top with cowl.</td></tr>
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Again, it was a good festival and his film "Oh Come All Ye Zombies" was well received. It won it's block of films and came in second for audience favourite by a very narrow margin. Year after year, their programming is just phenomenal. He's up against some amazing films and we aren't exactly stacking the audience with cast members.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P79atBbp8wU/VRwm-u8zOhI/AAAAAAAAArw/dIKfRrMoq3U/s1600/Darren%2Bscreening%2Bnight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P79atBbp8wU/VRwm-u8zOhI/AAAAAAAAArw/dIKfRrMoq3U/s1600/Darren%2Bscreening%2Bnight.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mr. Lina at the film fest!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IaFd3Yy5Kbo/VRwm-n2JZYI/AAAAAAAAAr0/DwhRwa-OsDc/s1600/BMW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IaFd3Yy5Kbo/VRwm-n2JZYI/AAAAAAAAAr0/DwhRwa-OsDc/s1600/BMW.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Same Renfrew as above at BMW.</td></tr>
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Landshut is such a pretty little town. Even going three times, we still got to see some new things. The festival arranged a tour of the BMW component factory for us. They don't hold back on the tour, I got to see engine blocks being poured and carbon fibre bumpers being made. The also added a film maker breakfast, weistwurst (white sausage), bretzel (big soft pretzel) & beer, a traditional Bavarian breakfast.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-09A2S7V0CSk/VRwoQBE5gII/AAAAAAAAAsI/hP2QSOqAmWw/s1600/Bavarian%2BBreakfast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-09A2S7V0CSk/VRwoQBE5gII/AAAAAAAAAsI/hP2QSOqAmWw/s1600/Bavarian%2BBreakfast.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's a radler - beer (lager) and lemonade of some sort, very refreshing. Pretty sure I have self-made pants you can't see.</td></tr>
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We decided after the film fest we'd go somewhere new for a few days. Vienna, Austria ended up being the winner, it's close enough to be cheap and yet still new to us. I liked Vienna, it's very beautiful, compact and walkable. We rented a one bedroom flat through AirBnB. It was great, we could make breakfast at the flat, if we at a big lunch and just wanted nibblies for dinner, we could do that. After being in a tiny hotel room in Landshut, it was nice to have a little more space.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N7LYRd3cro4/VRwsnCT3ozI/AAAAAAAAAsY/f7Mp3iLoG08/s1600/Long%2Bday%2Bof%2Bwalking%2Bin%2BVienna.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N7LYRd3cro4/VRwsnCT3ozI/AAAAAAAAAsY/f7Mp3iLoG08/s1600/Long%2Bday%2Bof%2Bwalking%2Bin%2BVienna.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Long day of walking, corduroy pencil skirt I made last year.</td></tr>
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The first full day we walked a crazy amount. Through the old part of Vienna, over to the amusement park, went for a ride in their rather famous Ferris Wheel and Mr. Lina decided we should have lunch at the Donauturm on the Danube, sort of like their version of the CN Tower). We didn't quite realize how far away it was and ended up walking 20 km that day alone. Above I still had a few kilometers to walk to get to the flat and I needed to just sit for a bit. Thank heavens those shoes are comfortable!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IaQ25dagy2A/VRwsnwal6aI/AAAAAAAAAsg/-LloM83w4AU/s1600/Windy%2BFerris%2BWheel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IaQ25dagy2A/VRwsnwal6aI/AAAAAAAAAsg/-LloM83w4AU/s1600/Windy%2BFerris%2BWheel.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did I mention it was windy at the top of the Ferris Wheel?</td></tr>
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We did a day trip to Saltzburg. It was pretty overcast and damp that day so I can't say I got the best impression. We walked up to the castle that overlooks the town. This is the area that The Sound of Music was filmed in. It wasn't until we were taking the train back to Munich for our flight home that I really saw the alps clearly.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Walking to the castle in Saltzburg, never been so happy to be at the top.</td></tr>
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Oh right, this is a sewing blog isn't it? And I mentioned pants! </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0JooIX6pVGk/VRwsnGids8I/AAAAAAAAAsU/OkXiiImp2Zo/s1600/Lunch%2Bat%2BRathskeller.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0JooIX6pVGk/VRwsnGids8I/AAAAAAAAAsU/OkXiiImp2Zo/s1600/Lunch%2Bat%2BRathskeller.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thurlow Trousers, lunch at the Rathaus in Vienna.</td></tr>
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Yep, I made pants. Since February I have made a black skirt and 3 pairs of Thurlow trousers. The first were a wearable muslin where I figured out that the leg is just too wide for me. I'm drowning in them as drafted. Above I'm wearing the second pair, black twill that is shiny on one side that I put to the inside of the pants. It means they slide nicely on my skin when I'm walking (which led to me being unable to sit still after too much beer and coffee). This pair is a bit loose in the waist, but that makes them perfect for travelling and great for bowling. I have full range of motion but feel put together. I actually wore that exact outfit to work yesterday now that I look at it.</div>
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I made a third pair in grey, it's got some stretch and pile to it, but it's not quite corduroy. After this pair being a little big, I trimmed them down further but I had such a problem getting the bum right. Oddly enough I'm not quite as happy with them as the second pair. I've also got a little post-vacation weight on me so I'm hoping some of that sorts out the fit. I did wear them on vacation but the days I wore them Mr. Lina only seemed to take pictures from the waist up. Perhaps he isn't as keen either.</div>
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On the adoption front, we're one meeting and an evening training session away from being "Adopt Ready". I thought the meeting was going to happen today, but our social worker isn't quite ready for us to sign off on it. He has reviewed our home study with his supervisor and I gather they are really eager to have all the i's dotted and t's crossed and working with an adoption worker to place kids with us. So soon. Soon.</div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-15351551636590475122015-02-10T10:07:00.000-05:002015-02-10T10:23:59.805-05:00Amusing Moments in UnpackingWhen I packed up my sewing room, I was surprised to see really how many patterns I have. Now I am a tracer so some of the patterns take up more space than you'd think with the additional paper, but they were all in one very full medium sized box clearly marked "Patterns".<br />
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Striking while the iron was hot (and the fabric was new), I wanted to sew one of the two fabrics I had planned for a skirt. Easy enough project as I have skirt patterns that fit me already, a good project to get back into the swing of things with. <br />
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Of course that means finding the box of patterns. I looked in my sewing room closet. I looked at the boxes in the shelf. I looked in the boxes in the basement that have not been unpacked. I asked Mr. Lina. We both agreed we had seen the box, yet neither could remember where.<br />
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I gave up. I have a black skirt that is short without being indecent, perfect for a date night and it's a knit. Exactly what I wanted for the "snake skin" knit, but now with the additional work of copying the existing skirt and figuring out the construction. So a little more time than taking the pencil skirt pattern I already love but at this rate, faster than finding the box of patterns.<br />
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The skirt I was cloning is done in 4 pieces, a curved 2" waist band in two pieces (4 if you include the facing), and a side zip. The front and back centre seams are straight so I didn't bother, I cut on the fold. I did not notice that the front and back waist bands are not identical so my first waist band was too short by maybe 3" because I only traced the short front band. Oops. My fault for not walking the seams. I did have enough fabric to cut a second waist band so it wasn't the end of the world. I might turn the short waist band into a belt with the hardware and a little elastic making up for the gap. <br />
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At which point I found my box of patterns. On the shelf where it should be. Closest to the door, just below eye level, so not even obscured by the desk or too high/low to see properly. The <b>one</b> side of the box that did not say patterns was facing out.<br />
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Sigh.<br />
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On the plus side, outside of hemming and fixing a little tugging on the side zipper, I have a new skirt and a pattern for a knit skirt that fits quite well if I do say so myself. Pictures to come when it's hemmed and the zipper is fixed.Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-87400197438598988742015-02-06T09:51:00.000-05:002015-02-06T09:51:12.948-05:00Welcome to FebruaryWhere on earth did January go? I swear I blinked and weeks had passed.<br />
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On the sewing front, I'm getting there. I finally found my iron last week but I still haven't found my large self healing mat. The little one, but not the big one. The little mat is maybe helpful for a bra and that's about it and I'm not quite organized enough for making a bra.<br />
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I am, however, vaguely organized to sew a rectangle. Large rectangles. Like curtains.<br />
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They aren't quite finished. I wasn't sure how well they would block out the sun and they were needed sooner rather than later because the blinds are useless. Completely useless. Not only are they ineffective at blocking sun, they provide no privacy. Something I realized coming home from bowling when Mr. Lina had the light on in the bedroom and I could see everything from the street. Not just the shape of my furniture, but the details too. No wonder the neighbours are so friendly. I put up a sheet that night, bought this fabric on the weekend, cut and turned the edges and we hung them up. As it turns out, I do need a fairly heavy lining to block out the sun so I'm glad I waited rather than cheaping out assuming the fabric was heavy enough.<br />
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Mr. Lina also has me sewing rectangles for a green screen. I'm less enthused by that as the fabric with the right shade of green is also rubber backed and freakishly heavy. It looks like it was sewn by drunk monkeys because it's hard to pull the fabric in 9' panels evenly. I refuse to sew more until he supports the fabric on the side. It's just embarrassing how crooked it is.<br />
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Things are moving pretty quickly on the home study/adoption front. Our adoption worker is such a good fit for us. We share similar interests in folk music, he plays guitar, he's really made Mr. Lina feel comfortable. We've had one meet & greet and our first visit (of 4-5) for the home study. It's pretty intense, there aren't many skeletons left in our closets. An hour and a half of talking (each, separately) about our childhood. And it's not just what I say but how I say it. Like he commented on how I talk about my dad, it's like I'm defending him when no one is attacking him. I didn't realize I felt that way, like I needed to justify everything. So strange. That interview rattled around my head for a few days. Still does I suppose. We were scheduled to have our second meeting today but he is sick, so it's going to be next week.<br />
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Oh and we went to Montreal for a wedding. Who gets married in Montreal in January when most of your family are in Manitoba? Not the best time of year for travelling. BUT, it was in the Plateau area, I bought 3 pieces of fabric without it being a hassle at all, and I'm so happy for the couple. They really are well suited and just crazy enough for the other. It was a wonderfully casual wedding with cocktail dresses for a dress code. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cPG2RkjkCC0/VNTTQ6LHvPI/AAAAAAAAArE/aOWSGxxvKjE/s1600/Montreal%2BFabric%2BPurchases%2BJan31%2B2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cPG2RkjkCC0/VNTTQ6LHvPI/AAAAAAAAArE/aOWSGxxvKjE/s1600/Montreal%2BFabric%2BPurchases%2BJan31%2B2015.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emery board for scale, really they are all black/grey.</td></tr>
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The fabric on the left is black and the light is accentuating the snake skin print, it s quite subtle in person (being black on black). It's a knit, fairly stable but my plan is a skirt so just enough stretch for movement and comfort. Actually all three have stretch, now that I think about it. I didn't notice quite how much stretch was in the top right (and it is grey, not purple) "cloud" fabric until later because it's one directional. I want to make it into a pencil skirt. I'm doing more formal client meetings and I feel most professional in a skirt so I'd like to add some to my wardrobe. Last is the cable knit sweater. It's fairly heavy, black on the back. I was thinking a snug sweater (I think it's thick enough to smooth over bumps) maybe like Renfrew, but it was the last 2m on the bolt and I took it all. So maybe a dress now? Snug and fairly short maybe, something that could be worn with opaque tights or leggings/skinny jeans.Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-7738936704463976902015-01-07T13:20:00.002-05:002015-01-07T13:30:31.307-05:00Posting - at last!Oh boy, how time flies.<br />
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I think I've started 4 posts in the past 5 weeks. We'll see if this one sticks. Maybe we'll go the easy route with a list...<br />
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<ul>
<li>Move went well, it was a good call to hire packers and movers.</li>
<li>My in laws arrived, helped and left, our relationship is still good and the weather stripping, locks and various other aspects of the house benefited from their visit</li>
<li>The house is feeling like home. I looked at a 401 West - London sign and my first thought was "home is that way" (not that I live in London but it's the next biggest city in that direction).</li>
<li>I am still getting used to my new commute, I knew it would suck prior to moving and I was right. It took nearly 2 hours to get into work today, this isn't going to last forever.</li>
<li>Christmas was a little hectic and felt last minute but okay</li>
<li>My SIL was a bit of a saviour, I "went in" on a lot of group presents which saved me some shopping and what shopping I did have to do was done in one night the Monday prior to Christmas</li>
<li>We got roped into hosting a New Years Eve party, a Manitoba friend has moved to Montreal in the fall and he wanted to ring in the new year with us so a party was had</li>
<li>Mr. Lina went a little crazy with moving, holidays, two colds and work, layer upon layer of crap to the point he really couldn't be flexible with any change, but I think he is returning to normal</li>
<li>I miss <a href="http://lazysubculturalgirl.wordpress.com/">Lazy Subcultural Girl</a>, she once said that she and her husband had a deal that only one person was allowed up the crazy tree at a time.</li>
<li>I spent December at the base of the crazy tree looking up.</li>
<li>Christmas celebrations had lots of babies, my 2.5 year old neice, my two 8 month old nephews and my cousin is a dad, his son was 5 weeks at Christmas and slept pretty much the whole time (as you would expect) - next year will be crazy when those babies are all running.</li>
<li>My niece likes me, deals were required to get her to stop playing and take some family pictures and part of the deal was sitting in my lap. Best Christmas present by far.</li>
<li>Her brother only has eyes for his mom and my dad, Papa is a-okay fine by him, the rest of us are suspicious and not to be trusted.</li>
<li>I feel sad today and an odd mix of lonely and antisocial. Probably a mix of not having team members here and 2 hours alone in the car driving in.</li>
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That about sums up December I suppose. On with January!</div>
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January 2nd I got a call from Children's Aid, we have our first appointment with a social worker this Friday. I'm thrilled and nervous all at the same time. It's just an hour to meet and review our application and discuss our preferences for adoption, but it's a big first step. I was kind of thinking that in January I'd call and just see where we were in their priority list... and now I don't have to. </div>
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Wasn't that sneaky of me leaving the best for last? And look at that I'm going to hit publish...</div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-27971747194706245852014-11-25T13:34:00.001-05:002014-11-25T15:03:55.593-05:00Blink and it's Moving Day!I cannot believe that it was a month prior to move the last time I posted. We close on the new house on Friday so house limbo is definitely near the end. Since we're paying the moving company to pack, it's not too crazy but there are things we want to take care of ourselves. It's a little surreal.<br />
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Let's see...<br />
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<ul>
<li>My in laws have decided to help us with the move. While I appreciate the help and love them dearly, I'm not sure it's a good thing for them to be around me while I'm feeling my most flustered and least able to answer questions. </li>
<li>They arrive at noon on moving day so my parents are going to pick them up. Somehow this makes both sets of parents feel useful while they go for lunch.</li>
<li>I'm not going to be able to find anything for quite some time because they aren't helping us move so much as they are helping us unpack. So I'm not going to know what's in most boxes because someone else packed it and I'm not going to know where anything went because my in laws emptied them. </li>
<li>It's just stuff, right?</li>
<li>Right?</li>
<li>And we did pack the "fun drawer" already so I shouldn't end up with too many embarrassing moments.</li>
<li>Maybe.</li>
<li>Gosh I miss sewing. I have this mostly empty sewing room and a few boxes of fabric, but it's not really a good use of my time to sew.</li>
<li>That said, I made an exceedingly short elastic waist band circle skirt (say short enough for at home with Mr. Lina and select night time locations with opaque tights).</li>
<li>Probably the least amount of effort you can put into a skirt (circle, elastic, rolled hem foot for the hem). I didn't even measure the waist so the circle ended up too big to fit into the elastic and required a few pleats. That said, I've worn it to see Peter Hook & the Light (bass player for Joy Division and New Order) and a few date nights. Good for dates, not so good for wind tunnels.</li>
<li>I've also attached buttons to a few shirts, mending that has sat for a while is just getting done. </li>
<li>Isn't it always the way that we want to do what we shouldn't be doing?</li>
</ul>
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So Friday we pick up the keys. Saturday and Sunday we'll paint two rooms and move a few things ourselves (essentials, alcohol, plants, instruments, camera equipment etc). Monday I have to give a half day training session for a client in their office (which is closer to my new house but still a 40 minute drive) and then I'm off Tues-Thurs for the packing/moving/unpacking extravaganza. I figure by Friday I'll be ready to leave the insanity for a day and go to work. Eeep!</div>
Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-43293796001155067442014-11-04T16:59:00.000-05:002014-11-04T16:59:03.673-05:00One Month To GoWe have one month to go before we move. We take possession of the new house Nov 28th, but it's Dec 3rd that the move is happening. So one month from today I'll be unpacking. <br />
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There are pro's and con's to a long closing date when buying a house.<br />
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Pro's<br />
<ul>
<li>Obviously, time.</li>
<ul>
<li>Paperwork - lawyers, mortgage</li>
<li>Packing</li>
<li>Planning the move</li>
</ul>
<li>Ability to live a little prior to leaving. We're still hosting house concerts, Thanksgiving dinner, having friends over.</li>
<li>We can say "good bye" to things that make this neighbourhood great, but won't be so easy in the new house. Things like our favourite restaurants. I know I could always go back, but it's not going to be convenient and we'll have new favourite spots in the new community.</li>
<li>Using up food in the fridge, freezer and pantry, kind of highlighted how much of a food hoarder I can be. We have a lot of roast beef to eat.</li>
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Con's</div>
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<ul>
<li>Everyone thinks I've already moved. It's weird the number of people who think I'm already there and asking how the new commute/neighbours/etc are. Mr. Lina's manager asked if he was going to vote on his lunch time last week. Um, no, not driving 70 km to vote and turn around to go back to work for the afternoon...</li>
<li>I'm in a limbo of not wanting ANYTHING coming into the house - food, books, movies, STUFF. If it can't be consumed in 30 days, then it's just another thing that needs packing and unpacking and is likely to get lost.</li>
<li>I sure hope none of the appliances break as we would have to replace them.</li>
<li>The excitement of the new house has become less tangible. </li>
<li>I feel sad that I'll be saying good bye to this house and neighbourhood.</li>
<li>Limbo extends to hobbies. I have a fairly empty sewing room, but no table to work on and most of my fabric is in storage and I don't want to make a mess.</li>
</ul>
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Mr. Lina has been changing our address with, well, everyone. Utility companies, Canada Post, banks and ID, on and on. It's good, but getting the update of every single one is actually stressing me out a little. Because I'm not ready to do that and I have ID that I have to change myself. The things that I'd change easily don't seem to want 4 weeks notice.</div>
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I need to find some of the excitement again. It is looking like we'll be going to the new house on Sunday to get quotes for finishing the basement. Hopefully that kick starts the "ohboyohboyohboy" feeling that will make address changing and packing more exciting and less... scary. </div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-75671778314968338612014-10-14T14:55:00.002-04:002014-10-14T14:55:58.968-04:00Happy Thanksgiving!This past weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada. It's not quite the big holiday that it seems to be in the US, but I'm in favour of a 3 day weekend that is full of turkey dinners. We hosted our traditional friends Thanksgiving on Saturday night, then my family had dinner on Monday.<br />
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After a weekend with a few late nights and lazy mornings, today sucked. I'm still not feeling awake. So let's see what I have to be thankful for...<br />
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<ul>
<li>Health, generally, I'm good. That rash has cleared up, no idea why or what caused it but I sure am thankful that it's gone.</li>
<li>Mr. Lina - we're in a pretty good lovey dovey stage at the moment. All this change feels exciting, so glad to have him in my life. His attention for detail is coming in handy as he takes care of a lot of the details with our lawyer, mortgage broker and scheduling movers.</li>
<li>Finances - sure, it would be nice to win the lottery, but I'm appreciating that I have enough. There is lots of food to go around, a big roof over our head and while money seems to be slipping through our hands because of the move (7 weeks away now), it's all okay, there is enough.</li>
<li>Friends - a big pillar in our our lives, having 18 adults, 5 kids, 2 babies for Thanksgiving sure did make me feel well loved. We'll be moving about a 15 min walk from friends of ours and it was pretty cool to hear their 8 year old daughter say how happy she was about that. You know I'm going to be really close to her school. </li>
<li>Family - gosh I love my niece and nephews. My niece is a chatty 2 year old, loves imaginative play and silliness. One nephew has figured out how to crawl like a marine under barbed wire and the other is ridiculously chubby cheeked and loves to kick everything and anything. He also seems to have good "timing" causing me to need to change my shirt (and his outfit) and then getting me again with a leaky diaper. No one else was puked on. Honestly...</li>
<li>I figured out this week I still have 5 vacation days to use this year. That's going to help me stay sane while we move.</li>
</ul>
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I think I covered all the big pillars there. </div>
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We're going to be hosting <a href="http://www.davidbradstreet.com/">David Bradstreet</a> on Monday. The guy has won Junos, a Gemini, produced for lots of other artists who are far better known than he is. I'm excited to host someone with this kind of Canadian pedigree but I'm getting worried it's going to be another small audience. Hopefully I get a few RSVP's this week. Anyone local is welcome to come, I'll send details by email if you'd like. Have a listen.</div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-45200975863550373722014-10-07T15:11:00.001-04:002014-10-07T15:11:42.099-04:00Falling ApartNow don't take this too dramatically, but do you ever have little physical issues come up and feel like you're falling apart?<div>
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Last week, I had a bit of vertigo. My blood pressure is generally low so it's not uncommon for me to need to touch things for a bit of balance when I get up in the morning. Usually by the time I'm brushing my teeth I'm good. I'll feel some momentary dizziness if I've been bent over (say cleaning the bathtub) and stand up quickly. But Thursday it just wasn't going away so I took the day off. It certainly wasn't as debilitating as what my mom has described as her vertigo, but it was enough I didn't want to drive.</div>
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Side note to taking a sick day. I'm used to going through my "personal days" like popcorn at a movie theatre from fertility treatments that I was surprised to see I'd only used 2 this year. Unbelievable. That sealed the deal on not even trying to work from home. Good thing too, it took three tries to find the word "cream cheese" at lunch, Mr. Lina was looking at me like I had 3 heads.</div>
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We had a great weekend. Mr. Lina's birthday on Friday, spent Saturday with my niece, nephews, brother and SIL at a conservation area, Sunday was a charity smoker competition at Steamwhistle brewery in Toronto... It was busy and a lot of time outside in a not so warm fall weekend. Getting up on Monday morning sucked. I guess I wasn't hiding that so well. My manager and I were in one half hour meeting together and touched base maybe twice yesterday. First thing this morning he said he was too busy yesterday to ask but I didn't seem like myself, was I okay? </div>
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Last night Mr. Lina and I were relaxing. Had some steak for dinner, a bit of red wine, it was nice to just be on the couch together. And then I looked at my arm and noticed it was textured. Like red and somewhat raised, a rash over both forearms. I took an antihistamine, stopped drinking wine and mostly ignored it. Well, it's still there this afternoon and now it's on my neck, chest, and chin and more annoying because it's a little itchy. Based on the itch, I suspect it's in my scalp too.</div>
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I'm also realizing how much proof reading I need to do because I'm not functioning on all cylinders. We have a house concert coming up, David Bradstreet on Monday October 20th. I sent out a note to our mailing list last night about the show. </div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>I wrote November in the body of the email, but it says October in the subject line.</li>
<li>Today I noticed that, sent out another email saying whoops, it's October.</li>
<li>Then I noticed that the subject line in both emails said October 18th. Not 20th. The wrong day is probably a bigger problem than one mention of the wrong month. </li>
<li>Sigh.</li>
</ol>
</div>
<div>
Again, it's all just little annoyances, but I'd like all of them to go away and feel like myself again. A less itchy, brain foggy, well balanced version of me. </div>
Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-64435301067764585572014-09-22T16:38:00.001-04:002014-09-22T16:38:18.890-04:00MisplacedMoving has this odd mix of packed and not packed.<br />
<br />
You would think what I've packed are things I don't need.<br />
<br />
I look around the house and wonder why I didn't pack certain things (although the answer to that might be that they should be pitched).<br />
<br />
And yet...<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Not sure where my secondary wallet is. This sounds worse than it is. When I switched my wallet to a new one, I left some less important things in the other wallet. At the time, I was trying to cut back on buying fabric. Guess where my Fabricland card is?</li>
<li>I packed both my blender and my hand blender. Soup making will be chunky until December.</li>
<li>I packed the coffee bean grinder, I mean, the coffee maker has a grinder built in. Then Mr. Lina went to make his fancy pork recipe that requires grinding annato seeds and asked where the coffee grinder was. </li>
<li>He bought a new one.</li>
<li>I'd like to make some panties, my cheeky lace ones, but I packed those too. Hence the need for the Fabricland card.</li>
<li>Mr. Lina gave me flowers and I had to put them in a plastic spaghetti container because the vases are all packed.</li>
</ul>
Sigh...Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-41293551806664112452014-09-09T10:39:00.001-04:002014-09-09T10:39:09.161-04:00The Good Kind of ChangeI've been living in some surreal world the past month. After so much time of talking and planning and thinking and packing but accomplishing nothing... stuff happened. Lots of stuff. Life changing stuff.<br />
<br />
And boy it sure feels good.<br />
<br />
Every time I tell another friend or coworker about the house selling or the house we will be moving to, I feel a glow. A smile I can't remove, a sparkle in my eyes and face that hasn't always been there. A smile that isn't a fake it 'till you make it kind of smile that doesn't reach your eyes.<br />
<br />
Building on the changes, yesterday I called Children's Aid in the region we're moving to. A university friend of mine works there and she discreetly asked her adoption coworkers the best avenue for me to proceed and they recommended calling to let us know we were coming. It's nothing too formal, but now we're on their radar.<br />
<br />
It was a good conversation mostly about us - who we are, where we are at mentally, emotionally, how stable our life is (well, the move is the definition of lack of stability but past that nothing is changing), what we're looking for, etc. The application package is in the mail. I felt like I had a good rapport with the social worker. Typically the worker who takes your call is assigned your case, I am hoping that is the case because I think it's a good fit. I am glad we took the PRIDE training already. I had much better answers to his questions and perspective on the intention of the question than I would have without it. From his perspective, we are seen as a more attractive potential parent because that step is already done.<br />
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It seems like a good time in my life for the song "Happy" to be played damn near everywhere. I saw this video of it on the weekend and it is so powerful to me. It's from Deaf Film Camp - Camp Mark Seven - and it's all in American Sign Language with subtitles. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.<br />
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<br />Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-78637143699792007602014-09-07T15:20:00.001-04:002014-09-07T15:20:20.514-04:00Sold!Everything went pretty much as our real estate agent suggested. We'd list, let people see the house and "accept offers" at 6pm on the Saturday.<br />
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Sure enough, we listed Tuesday, 20 or so people came to see the house, and last night 5 people made offers on it. The offer we took didn't have any conditions so as of 8pm last night, our house is sold. Enough over listing value to fund most of the basement renovations on the new house. :) I must say I like that part.<br />
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It's so nice to have that done. I don't think it could have gone any better.<br />
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We've spent the whole day in the house. I think after spending every night out, eating out every night, it's good to just be in the house and make our own food. We can enjoy life again until it's time to move in December.<br />
<br />Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-66495606079118677772014-09-03T12:26:00.000-04:002014-09-03T12:26:49.488-04:00It's UpThe sign is in the lawn and the listing is publicly available on Realtor.ca. Did you ever think my sewing room would ever look like this?<div>
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Hard to believe this is the same room...</div>
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I didn't think those threads would ever come out of the carpet. Not to say it's perfect, but it is pretty impressive how few are left.</div>
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We've got viewings booked for tonight, so we are off to a good start. We're going to see Guardians of the Galaxy while they tour the house. I foresee popcorn for dinner. :)</div>
Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-21231950469469263532014-09-02T10:10:00.000-04:002014-09-02T10:10:54.503-04:00Happy...Birthday to me!<br />
<br />
Yep, it's that time of year again, another year has passed. Did you know I started kindergarten on my birthday? I was so excited, school was going to be awesome. How much better could a birthday be than starting school? And then I was told you could bring in a bag of cookies on your birthday. But it WAS my birthday and I didn't have ANY cookies. <br />
<br />
Very disappointing.<br />
<br />
It's okay, we evened things out by taking cookies on the last day of school which happened to be when my youngest brother was born.<br />
<br />
Anyhoo... today is full of cookies for not-5-year-old me. :)<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>My house is listing today, the sign should be in the yard when I get home.</li>
<li>It really does look good. I'm quite pleased with our efforts.</li>
<li>We'll be going out for dinner tonight, my favorite seafood place, Lucy's</li>
<li>Hopefully people will be looking at the house while we're eating :)</li>
<li>I am at work but you know, that just means more people get to say happy birthday to me</li>
<li>Although really, Facebook is kind of exploding with birthday wishes</li>
<li>I am having an "I look fabulous" kind of day.</li>
</ul>
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Yay birthdays!</div>
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I will leave you with the short video that my team mate in Quebec sent me. </div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-12295517013195406142014-08-27T17:03:00.000-04:002014-08-27T17:03:05.735-04:00Almost thereMy goodness Mr. Lina and I have been working our asses off.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow the photographer is coming to take pictures of our house which (if all goes as planned) will be listed for sale on Tuesday, Sept 2nd. We've moved:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>two book shelves</li>
<li>one wardrobe</li>
<li>one expidit desk (the kind that attaches to the shelves)</li>
<li>a crapton of boxes</li>
<li>$11 worth of empty beer/liquor bottles</li>
<li>multiple bags of garbage (which is challenging with a 2 bag limit)</li>
<li>multiple boxes/bags of recycling (which is fortunately not limited)</li>
<li>multiple bags of clothing and stuff to Goodwill</li>
</ul>
<div>
What furniture has been left has largely been moved around to make the house look bigger. </div>
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It works, it does look bigger. More like the mansion I thought I was moving into compared to our 1 bedroom apartment. It's not quite done and I'm rather sure the agent and photographer are going to do more moving of stuff, but I am pleased with what we've done. I really hope that after all this effort the house sells fairly quickly. </div>
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I have been thinking at times about pitching things as a skill set. One I sadly lack. I'm still probably packing stuff that I should be pitching, but I'd like to think that at least I'm feeling more positive about it. I think less and pitch faster and honestly feel better. The overwhelmed feeling is gone because I can see what's already been done. That's something for me to remember.</div>
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Possibly related to that is that I am still a bit forgetful but not teary and I've managed to keep my purse and phone with me all this week. Shiny gold star.</div>
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<div>
I also had a conversation with my manager about my career and what my work arrangement will be like when we move further from the office. Our house will now be a full 100 km from my employer and while my current client is closer, 78 km isn't exactly close. As I have pointed out to my newest team mate, being an "on site" analyst means you actually go to the client office. That means less flexibility for working from home. And I'm bored. I am dragging my feet on a lot of projects and I think it's because I'm just not interested in doing the same thing over and over. So we're going to change that. Not today, this is a domino that will impact others, but it's also good for my manager as he can offload more responsibilities on me. Win-win. I felt a bit scared asking for what I want, I've just bobbed along with my career so far, but it felt pretty good. </div>
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Okay, time to get going on that last bit of decluttering. Time to be sure every flat surface is empty... </div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-50818844301242191432014-08-19T15:01:00.001-04:002014-08-19T15:01:28.173-04:00Dot the I's and Cross the T'sThe home inspection was yesterday and for a 29 year old house, it's in great shape. A few things need dealing with, some sooner than others, but nothing is really all that bad. All of our conditions on sale have now been met so the house is definitively ours on the 28th of November.<br />
<br />
One odd thing the home inspection pointed out is that there isn't a heat vent into my sewing room. It wouldn't be hard to add one because the furnace is on the other side of the wall. I am not all that concerned. I can leave the door open (there is a vent just outside the room) for air to circulate and once the iron is turned on, the room will warm up enough. How often have I ended up sewing nearly naked with my hair pulled up because I was too hot? <br />
<br />
Lately I am quick to tear up and terribly forgetful (like not taking sleeping bags, pillows, chairs or Mr.Lina's camera with us for <a href="http://seraphinalina.blogspot.ca/2012/08/summerfolk-2012-review.html">Summerfolk</a>). Some of it is probably because this is a lot of change all at once. Some of it is because I'm tired. I didn't realize we would be buying a car and house when we got tickets for the Argo game and our usual Summerfolk weekend. Some of the tears make complete sense, but it's still flowing a little easier than it should. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wHofvOWTVCg/U_OUIzDyZAI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/t2W_oej7tNs/s1600/Murano%2Bpick%2Bup%2B2014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wHofvOWTVCg/U_OUIzDyZAI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/t2W_oej7tNs/s1600/Murano%2Bpick%2Bup%2B2014.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Small picture hides the slightly puffy eyes.</td></tr>
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We bought a new (to us) car last week, 2012 Nissan Murano. We bought it on Saturday after seeing our house the first time, picked it up on Thursday. I loved my old Alero. 12 years and 341,000 km of memories. It was the first car I purchased, 100% mine. Mr. Lina was with me when I bought it, but he had no involvement in payments or picking it out. I was either the driver or in the car for more than 300,000 km. As excited as I was to buy a new car, it was hard leaving the Alero behind and I cried at the dealership (which shouldn't surprise me, I cried when I signed the purchasing papers for the Alero). I forgot to bring my cheque book which made making the down payment more difficult than it needed to be. Let's just say that I was a bit of a mess and the dealership probably thinks I'm a complete flake. Even driving away, the Murano felt foreign, rather than exciting new, I felt insecure initially and resistant to the changes.<br />
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It crossed my mind as my eyes were welling up and spilling over about how hard any change is and that this is a moment to remember when I adopt. When I am matched with my kids, it's going to be such a happy event for Mr. Lina and I. But it's not quite the same happy event for the kids, it's just one more change in a life of uncertainty. I don't think they are going to believe us (or the social workers) when we say it is their forever home, that kind of trust and attachment takes time. The happy part of being told they will live with us will likely be a suspicious happy. It is okay to be sad about the good byes, good even. If I'm confused enough to have tears and complicated feelings over a car, imagine how hard that turmoil is to express when you are 6, or 4 or 2. I'm not sure there is enough crayons out there to express and explore those complicated feelings - where to put the sad part while everyone around you seems to be so very happy and appear to expect you to be happy too.<br />
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Now for more change. It's time to do the last bit of work to list our house.Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-77034120396822355492014-08-13T11:52:00.000-04:002014-08-13T11:52:10.481-04:00We Got ItAssuming there are no horror stories uncovered in the home inspection, the house will be ours. :) A bit of drama came with it yesterday (and what good story doesn't have drama?)<div>
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As I posted yesterday, we were waiting to hear the sellers response to our offer on the house. The offer expired at 7pm. Late afternoon, our agent calls. He got word that another offer was being prepared for the house - did we want to revise our offer since we were not the only one? </div>
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<div>
At this point, you have to put your best foot forward. Our offer of less than listing was based on the premise we would negotiate up, it wasn't going to stack up to another offer. We told our agent we'd go to full listing, but that was it. We would walk away from a bidding war, as much as I love the house, there are others. Our agent agreed and said he would wait to submit the revised offer until he knew the second offer was in writing. </div>
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We had tickets to see the Toronto Argos play the Winnipeg Blue Bombers (<a href="http://www.cfl.ca/">CFL</a> football, the older but less financially viable version of the NFL). Mr. Lina bought these months ago, a conflicting game to cheer for when it's his current home vs childhood home playing. Given the highway construction going on in Toronto, we chose to take the subway in. </div>
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6:45 we get above ground, waiting for the call. 7pm we grab some food, I'm dealing with the food and money in case Mr. Lina's phone rings... 7:05 passes....</div>
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Just as I'm having my purse checked by security to go into the stadium, his phone rings. And it freezes, so we didn't answer the call. We got as far out of the way as we could between security and scanning our tickets to call our agent back on my phone.</div>
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<div>
It seems the other offer never happened. They didn't want to get into a bidding war and walked away. He had a counter offer from the sellers, accepting all of our conditions (which were pretty standard - home inspection, financing) and closing date but a price below asking, just not as low as we offered.</div>
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I suppose we could have done a little more back and forth on price, but it was fair and we had enough drama already. It's so strange arriving to a football game with FABULOUS seats and I really couldn't care about how close the players were because I bought a house.</div>
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So here is a sneak peek of what will be my sewing room as of Nov 28th. It's a bit of an odd shape and the closet/door are behind the photographer, it should do quite nicely.</div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-44200840465859541752014-08-12T10:07:00.000-04:002014-08-12T13:29:42.247-04:00HomeHome is often a feeling more than a space. Every time I've looked for somewhere to live - be it renting, buying or even picking a university - I've felt that connection to the space. I swear, three steps off the bus when touring my university, I knew it was home even if I couldn't explain why.<br />
<br />
We've seen oh, 6 houses so far. Not so many to be tired of the process, just enough to have a good sense of what is available. There were houses I liked, houses Mr. Lina liked, aspects of every house we liked... but none said home.<br />
<br />
Saturday, we found a house I could see my kids running around in, playing tag or catch in the back yard. I could see me cooking and entertaining, talking to friends while the last appetizers were coming out of the oven. Mr. Lina could see where his desk would go, where he could move from bottling home brew to storing kegs and building a bar, my non-team sport playing husband even mentioned that the back yard was big enough for a football game. I would claim the basement office as my sewing room - laminate flooring, HUGE closet, a window and good lights. My mom sews in the basement, I see the advantage of kids playing within ear shot.<br />
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But it was more expensive than what we had seen. While I knew it was within reason, it was enough we wanted to sit with a calculator and double check. Fortunately, the market we're going to is cooler than what we're leaving so not all decisions have to be made the day of listing. We arranged to go back last night. We also asked to see other houses of a similar size and price to see what the competitive set was like.<br />
<br />
First house was lovely. On paper, better even. Newer windows, very well cared for, finished basement, beautiful gardens, $20K less... and yet I wasn't happy.<br />
<br />
Second house was the same floor plan as Saturday but 190 sq ft smaller - slightly smaller living room and master bedroom but still big enough. I didn't like it at all. Honestly, their real estate agent is not doing them any favours letting them show the house with lights missing or out, finger prints on the walls, furniture blocking traffic flow... Where the first house was well maintained and loved, this one wasn't cared for and it showed.<br />
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And then we went back to our Saturday house and it felt like home.<br />
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From the minute we pulled into the driveway, I felt comfortable.<br />
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Happy.<br />
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Home.<br />
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So I'm now in the limbo where we put in an offer and are waiting for their response. I figure there will be some back and forth on price and while I'm okay with that, we can't get into a bidding war that goes above asking.<br />
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But my heart feels good about this. Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-55043101928669304272014-08-05T14:54:00.000-04:002014-08-05T14:54:14.230-04:00Blink!When we drove through small towns, my mom would always say "Don't blink or you'll miss it". I kind of feel like every time I blink, time is flying by.<br />
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Let's see...<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Had someone come and clean my house. </li>
<li>I can pack or clean, not both. </li>
<li>Best money I've spent in a long time, selling the house now seems feasible.</li>
<li>I had no idea how many patterns I actually had. </li>
<li>The box I thought might be half full of patterns and have space for notions was overflowing.</li>
<li>Real estate agent says houses in my area sell on average in 14 days, many sell in 4 days.</li>
<li>We're going to buy the house we want, have a 75-90 day close, then list our house.</li>
<li>We looked at 4 houses last week, they were all good but not quite right for us. </li>
<li><i>Side rant on floor plans</i>. How can a house can have 1,000 sq ft more than my house and I am not sure where I'd fit some of my furniture? Why would two of three bedrooms need walk in closets? And come to think of it, the second closet touches the third bedroom wall, they could have made smaller (yet still walk in - yes it's that big but perhaps too narrow for a 4th bedroom) closets for both rooms.</li>
<li>Still haven't bought a car, but we've narrowed down what we're looking for. We set aside Sunday to look at cars and then found out the dealerships that we wanted to go to were closed. Oops.</li>
<li>So we had my parents, brother, SIL and nephew over for dinner instead of looking at cars. It all worked out well, nice impromptu dinner party.</li>
<li>We've gone to two 40th birthday parties in two weeks. Those milestone years are just one party after another, and you find out which friends are a year older than you. :)</li>
<li>I've also had strep throat. I thought I had a cold courtesy of my two sick co-workers. Clearly I'm not a doctor.</li>
<li>Lots of time with Mr. Lina. </li>
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August 21st will be our 10th anniversary. Talk about blink and you'll miss it. I feel like it was a couple of years ago that I was putting on my big white dress and dancing our first dance. Maybe last year that we celebrated 5 years. And yet, the days pre-Mr. Lina seem a bit faded and distant. The past oh... month I guess, it's been a bit of a throw back to our dating days. I suspect part of it is knowing that with moving to another community and kids to follow after that, our "family of two" time is coming to an end. We've gone out dancing, we've been on real dates in new locations, we've been talking a lot. I've found myself telling stories about when we were dating, some of the silly things we did in that rush of a new relationship. Even at one of the 40th birthday parties, I was telling the birthday-wife our "how we met" story since she's only known us as a couple. Even in Manitoba we were talking about how it will be different - from the practicalities of where do we sleep to how we'll visit with friends. When we're in Brandon, we often go to a friends place or a pub and enjoy a tipsy walk home at 2am. <br />
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It is going to be different, not to say bad, just different. We are appreciating the good parts of being a couple at the moment, the benefits of our current home, and it's like that new relationship excitement over the changes to come.Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5945168277255989385.post-16565197668431010472014-07-22T15:48:00.001-04:002014-07-22T15:49:53.605-04:00Ah... Vacation...Well that blog break was a bit longer than intended. We spend two weeks visiting Mr. Lina's family in Manitoba. Very restful, saw lots of friends and family. Prior to that, work got well... crazy. It has been a while since I worked that many nights past 7pm. So, not much time for writing. Nor packing for that matter.<div>
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But, we're back now. </div>
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And life is still busy. My car really does need to be replaced - sooner the better. I'm not putting more money into it and now another light has come on that I don't want to fix. Our real estate agent is coming over tomorrow night to talk about moving. Tonight is going to be a lot of "chuck things in boxes" so there is less clutter when he tours the house.</div>
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It's kind of scary to be honest.</div>
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I think I haven't written since we returned because I'm a bit scared. I'd rather spend time hiding from all this change rather than embracing it. I had Mr. Lina work with me on packing up my sewing room. Not that he did much, but having him there kept me calm and focused. I get side tracked by little things from high school or medical receipts for the clinic. </div>
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As tempting as it is to look at potential new houses (online, not in person just yet) and we all know how much I want to be a mom, change is pretty scary.</div>
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On the weekend I went to a birthday party for a university friends' husband. While I do know him, I don't really know his friends and family. Two other girls from the group came and we stuck together. I've been a bit of a hermit. I'm the only one of that group without kids now, while I want to hear about their kids for about 5 minutes, it just feels... stressful to see them. And sometimes it's sad when I leave. Not that much has been going on as large group, but I haven't even been reaching out to them at all. It was good to catch up with two of them and we actually talked more about ourselves than their kids. Kind of refreshing really and a good reminder that I liked them before they had kids and that friend is still in there.</div>
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One of my friends is a social worker in the region we're looking to move to. She doesn't deal with adoption, but she will know the social workers that I will be working with (when we get there) and generalities of adoption in that region. It was really good and it brought up all the excitement I've been kind of hiding under the pressure to get the house listed etc. </div>
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Anyhoo... I am alive, I'm doing okay. We are almost there.</div>
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We hosted <a href="http://charlieacourt.com/">Charlie A'Court</a> back in March. Charlie really is that mix of musician AND entertainer. Charlie is good one-on-one, he and my Australian friend had some banter in the show, he knows how to play to his audience and he is a talented guitarist. It was one of the most FUN shows I've ever hosted. Prior to the show, we were talking about what to expect from our audience. It was a Saturday night, I said I was relaxed as far as start/end times went, odds are a board game of some sort would break out after the show because people would stay. And I introduced him to <a href="http://cardsagainsthumanity.com/">Cards Against Humanity</a> as the game most likely to be played post show.</div>
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In short, Cards Against Humanity is a question and answer game. One person draws a question/phrase (some are fill in the blank), each player has 10 answer cards in their hand, they pick the most amusing. The person asking the question picks their favourite and that person asks the next question. Some cards are tame, some are, well... not. Some phrases that sound pretty tame on their own are not when paired with the wrong question. Also, there is a "Canadian Conversion Kit" with answers like <a href="http://www.timhortons.com/">Tim Hortons</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Dressup">Mr. Dressup</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Official_Languages_Act_(Canada)">The Official Languages Act/Loi sur les langues officielles</a>, etc.... So something normal like "_____ keeps our relationship exciting" isn't too crazy a question, but sounds worse when the answer is "Ooompa Loompas" or "Mr. Dress-up". I've had moments in this game where my brother couldn't speak because he was laughing too hard. </div>
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We ended up playing that game until 4 or 5 am on time change weekend (I think 4, but with spring forward that makes it 5). I sent a very tired Charlie to his next house concert with perhaps 6 hours of sleep.</div>
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So you can imagine how amused I was to see that one of the options in his <a href="http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/charlieacourt2">crowd funding</a> for his next album is Cards Against Humanity cards written by Charlie. Or you can buy the game AND the cards.</div>
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It's pretty cool that not only am I being impacted by hosting musicians, but it sometimes leaves an impression on them too. I can't wait for our cards to arrive.</div>
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Seraphinalinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12706215125457113080noreply@blogger.com0